This article is a follow up to one that was written one year Ago today…

ME: Hey everyone, Thanks for joining me today as I interview international Pop Superstar Katy Perry, Katy thanks for stopping by.

KATY: You are welcome, Tony thanks for having me.

ME: So congratulations are in order, you just tied Michael Jackson for the number of hit singles off of on album. That is a huge accomplishment. What do you think has been the secret to your success thus far?

KATY: I’ve asked myself that question before…and I realized that the secret to my success was right in front of me the whole time. There are two huge reasons why I hit that milestone.

ME: So you are saying the secret to your success is…?

KATY: Tits.

ME: I see.Thank you for your honesty.

KATY: No problem. They’re nice huh? I totally caught you looking….

ME: I may have glanced…er briefly…

KATY:It must have been a Metric glance because it was easily a minute and a half there. In the Imperial system that’s called staring.

ME: Oh, uh.. sorry.

KATY: No no don’t worry, I’m under no illusions. I named the left one “Bread” and the right one “Butter”

ME: so when will your new cd be on the rack… ER… I MEAN TOP SHELF!! …TITTIES! OH GODDAMMIT!!! Sorry about that.

KATY: Don’t worry about it.

ME: So what will the new album be called?

KATY: Enormous Cans.

ME: I think we’re done here.

KATY: First single is called “Motorboat.”

ME: Goodbye Katy

KATY: Bye Bye.

To Whom it May Concern:

Listen, we know you’re looking at us. We get it. We’re on the big side, as far as breasts go. Along with Katy’s eyes, we represent most of the oversized stuff on her. And certainly, we’ve helped her get to where she is today. Our presence requires her to build up her lung capacity, and makes it easy for her to get meetings with agents and record producers.

But lately, we feel that there’s too much attention being paid to us. Katy is a wonderful girl. She’s very kind to us, sharing lotions and various skin moisturizers. She so ever prominently featured us in her “California Gurls” video, and let us fire off giant whipped cream containers. Most girls would never dream of doing that for their breasts. While all of this is flattering, we feel you should pay more attention to Katy as whole, and not just focus on us, asking for pictures of us, etc. We’ll show ourselves when we’re ready. Maybe it will be when a photographer catches us out on yacht, or a beach somewhere, or maybe it will be in a men’s magazine when Katy reaches 14:59.

Until then, love us for who we’re a part of, not just for ourselves. Oh, and Russell, two words: Hand Sanitizer.

Love, Katy Perry’s Breasts.