An Open Letter from Katy Perry’s breasts

To Whom it May Concern:

Listen, we know you’re looking at us. We get it. We’re on the big side, as far as breasts go. Along with Katy’s eyes, we represent most of the oversized stuff on her. And certainly, we’ve helped her get to where she is today. Our presence requires her to build up her lung capacity, and makes it easy for her to get meetings with agents and record producers.

But lately, we feel that there’s too much attention being paid to us. Katy is a wonderful girl. She’s very kind to us, sharing lotions and various skin moisturizers. She so ever prominently featured us in her “California Gurls” video, and let us fire off giant whipped cream containers. Most girls would never dream of doing that for their breasts. While all of this is flattering, we feel you should pay more attention to Katy as whole, and not just focus on us, asking for pictures of us, etc. We’ll show ourselves when we’re ready. Maybe it will be when a photographer catches us out on yacht, or a beach somewhere, or maybe it will be in a men’s magazine when Katy reaches 14:59.

Until then, love us for who we’re a part of, not just for ourselves. Oh, and Russell, two words: Hand Sanitizer.

Love, Katy Perry’s Breasts.

6 Responses to “An Open Letter from Katy Perry’s breasts”

1. spcMike says:

   August 18, 2010 at 2:41 pm

   Am I the only one disturbed by the incongruous phallic-ness the whipped cream cans add to her boobs?

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2. Elmock says:

   August 18, 2010 at 2:46 pm

   I whole heartedly agree. Her breast are nice but there is a lot more to her the just a great set of can. I mean have you seen the gams on this skirt? Good god they just keep going and going and just when you think they never stop bam! Her butt is a work of art

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3. Tomass says:

   August 18, 2010 at 2:57 pm

   Dear Katy Perry’s Breasts,

   Have you also kissed a girl and liked it? Also would you mind asking Katy Perry’s Vagina if she has kissed a girl? Further if you, Katy Perry’s Vagina, and Katy Perry (prime) would like to all get together and hang out with my wife I would be ok with that. Feel free to contact me at your convenience and we can discuss this further if you would be so inclined. Just ask admin_rock for my email address.

   Warmest regards to the entire Katy Perry Collective,
   TomAss

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4. tpiper says:

   August 18, 2010 at 6:08 pm

   It’s true, I can’t help but stare. But it’s in envy, not lust. With great breasts comes great power.

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5. Dog Breath says:

   August 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm

   If you put your thumb over each one then her head, you will notice they are bigger.

   Katy is ready for the Marvel Universe!

   Her super power will be boner inducing whipped cream.

   She’ll finally get that last article of clothing off the Hulk.

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6. The M-Daddy says:

   August 19, 2010 at 9:08 pm

   Really? I never thought of her as a ‘big’ girl, she just always wears wonderbra-style outfits. Ample? Sure, but not, like, BIG big. Size doesn’t matter, though. When it comes to the chestle-area, it’s all about the health.

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