25 Things Right with The Star Wars Universe

We get dozens of emails saying that The Correctness does nothing but make fun of, and mock things. Those emails are just stupid. Clearly, The Correctness is a bastion of all things good AND bad. To that end, we present the mirror opposite of our list of 25 things wrong with The Star Wars Universe. We know that the normal behavior of Star Wars fans is to shit all over the thing they claim to love the most, but if we didn’t love it in the first place, we couldn’t hate it so much.Again, these are not in any particular order.

On with it!

1. The Lightsaber

No weapon in the history of film has had as much impact as the Lightsaber. For decades now, children have been pretending to have one, making the unforgettable whhhah whhhah sound, and mistaking the pronunciation with a popular hard candy.

And why not. It’s a kick ass weapon, deadly, elegant, and glowy. It has distinct sound effects for both the activation and swinging of, and it comes in a variety of colours. And who didn’t make an excited squeal noise when they first saw the double sided bad boy Darth Maul had?

2. Boba Fett

Boba Fett is a fantastic villain, mysterious, mostly silent, hidden behind a really cool helmet. He also flies, has a BFG, and a rocket launcher on his back. Arguably, he was taken out too soon, and didn’t get a lot of screen time. This actually added to the mystery, and guaranteed his place in the list. He died like a bitch but damn if he didn’t live like a man. We think. Again the whole mystery thing. Jetpack. Cable ropes. Awesome.

3. R2D2

There is no better droid one could ask for. R2 is a faithful, stalwart companion who is completely driven with carrying out his mission, whatever that may be. The Correctness has a theory that R2′s intelligence and capacity is highly underestimated, and that he was, in fact, one of the Rebellion’s 3 Super Spies, constantly pulling strings from behind the scenes, and even hiding in plain sight much of the time.

4. John Williams

We remain firmly convinced that 30 to 40% of Darth Vader’s coolness stems directly from the “Imperial March”. Part of what got us so excited during the Episode 1 trailer (besides the double sided light saber sqeeeealll!!!) was hearing the strains of “The Force theme” in the background. Cue after cue brings us right back to the excitement of the moment. The Tie Fighter attack, the opening theme, even the Cantina theme it all comes back to us when we hear the perfect music from the Maestro. and in a similar vain…

5. Ben Burtt

Light sabers switched on, blasters firing, tie fighters roaring by, Jawas chattering, Huttese Rumblings,droid noises, Ion Cannons blasting, Racing Pods thundering by, these are highly unique, identifiable and fully awesome sounds. Ben Burtt is the driving force behind creating a complete a believable soundscape that a) puts you right in the moment, b) thrills you every time you hear it, and c) makes you want it for a ring tone.

6. Darth Vader (Particularly, Empire Strikes Back Darth Vader)

One of the great villains of all time at the height of his powers. The breathing, the voice, the armour…here was an actual PRESENCE. The best villains are the ones who don’t actually have to rant and rave and scream. The best villains are totally in control, like Don Corleone. Vader can kill you by thinking about it. He can stop laser blasts with his hands. He can kill you by thinking about it when you are on a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHIP, so when he very calmly says to you

“Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?”

Rethink whatever shit you were about to pull on him immediately.

BAD ASS!!!!

7. Han Solo

We don’t know anyone who idolized Luke growing up. It was Han all the way. He had the attitude, the cool ship (more on that later) the Wicked Side-kick (More on THAT later) The Cute Girl (Definitely more on THAT later) and on top of it he had all the best lines. And back then they were funny! They are only unfunny now because we’ve been quoting them at each other for 25 years.

“I Love You”

“I know”

Classic!

8. Star Destroyers

Blast of Music. Logo. Opening crawl. Planet. Blockade runner. AND THEN SHEER FUCKING BUGSHIT CRAZY AWESOMENESS THAT SEEMS TO GO ON FOREVER!!!

9. The Millennium Falcon

We have no idea what the Kessel run is, nor do we know why it is measured in unit’s of distance instead of time, but whatever it is, the Falcon clearly owned it. It, more than any other ship in the Star Wars universe, was a character more than a piece of hardware. Temperamental, vulnerable, heroic, and brave. The Correctness loves and misses the Falcon.

10. The. Metal. Bikini.

Thank you George. Thank you.

11. POV shots from spaceship cockpits

Back before high end videogames, this was the only way nerds could experience the Star Wars universe first hand. It almost took it out of movie realm and into amusement park ride.The Battle of Hoth was made 10 times cooler with pov shots, as was the Death Star trench run in A New Hope. Didn’t you used to dream of an immersive 360 photo realistic Star wars flight simulator showing up at your local arcade? no? Just us? Fine, moving on…

12. Darth Maul

Ahhh Darth Maul…who used the power of the dark side of the Force to prevent Episode One from being a total loss. Here is a direct quote heard at the first night screening of Episode One, regarding the lightsaber fight… “There’s two of them…and he’s KICKING their ASS!!” Imagine how much better the subsequent films could have been if he had been able to stick around.

13. Chewbacca

“At last, we have the mighty Chewbacca.”

It would be like hanging around with a big, loyal dog who could fly spaceships, and rip the arms off of your enemies. Who wouldn’t want that? Chewie never said a word of intelligible dialogue in 4 films and we love him anyway. Perhaps in the case of Mr. Lucas’s dialogue skills it was largely for the best. We got a tiny taste of what the Battle of Endor SHOULD HAVE BEEN in Revenge of the Sith in an all too brief battle scene on Kashyyk, but shouldas and couldas aside, wookies, and Chewie in particular are teh awesome. The Correctness has determined that Chewie was likely the second Super Spy, as he patiently pulled strings and gently nudged things in the right direction for decades.

14. Stormtrooper uniforms

Well, the armour doesn’t seem to work against rocks and sticks, much less blasters, and they clearly can’t hit shit, and if your visibilty is limited on a space station notorious for not having safety rails you might have some workman’s comp in your future, but damn if they didn’t look cool!

15 The Emperor

When faced with a script full of terrible dialogue, Shakespearean actor Ian McDiarmid made a decision. He was going to tuck a napkin into his shirt collar and mow down on the scenery for the duration of the film. His plan worked gloriously. With each passing moment we made ourselves more his servant. You practically wanted to hiss at him every time he was on screen. We’re shocked they didn’t give him a mustache to twirl.

16. George Lucas

Two Words: Lifetime Pass. Eat it Nerds, he owes you nothing. He was nowhere near your childhood on the night in question. The Prequels had way more bad than good, and it hurt us all, but we wouldn’t be so over the top about it if we didn’t insanely love what he gave us in the first place. As much as we make fun of his dialogue and curse him out, (and we do) there isn’t one of us, or dare we say one of you that wouldn’t geek out if he invited you to take a tour of the ranch. And you’d be all nervous and refer to him as “Mr. Lucas” while avoiding eye contact. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

17. The Speeder Bike Chase

If the Correctness could sum this up in 3 words it would be AAAAAAGH! LOOKOUT!!! TREES!!!! a super high speed chase (once again enhanced by POV shots) in an area where the use of such vehicles would be dangerous and stupid. So essentially they are just like ATV’s , only you have to imagine drunk assholes instead of Biker Scouts on them. A great sequence and a super cool vehicle.
18. Yoda

Told you, we did. Kick ass is he.

19. AT-ATs

Practical? No. Cool? Fuck yeah. That seems to be the Empire’s motto, now that we are thinking about it. Imperial Walkers looked nigh unbeatable. The original shock and awe tactic. They are the primary reason we play the Hoth level over and over again on Star Wars Battlefront. And unlike the Death Star, AT-ATs actually completed their mission of destroying the Rebel Base. Now if only something could be done about those pesky trippable legs.

20. Leia

This is not your typical damsel in distress. She gives as good as she gets and generally takes zero crap from anyone. Don’t believe us? Ask Jabba, who died a somewhat Carradine-esque ignominious death. She can swap a) quips with Solo, b) blaster fire with Stormtroopers, and c) spit with her brother and still have time to lead the Rebellion, and look pretty damned hot doing it.

21. Peripheral Aliens

The Correctness would like to give a big shout out to: Jawas, Sandpeople, Snaggletooth, Walrus Man, The Cantina Band, Bib Fortuna, Weequay, Rodians, Transdoshians, Hammerhead, Gammoreans, Nikto, Yak Face, Ree Yees, Sy Snoodles, Max Rebo, Lobot (WTF?) Ugnaughts and anyone else we may have forgotten for “Filling in the corners” of every frame and adding even more color to an already pretty colorful universe.

22. The Toys

The Correctness has very fond memories of opening up that Christmas or birthday present, revealing the Kenner Star Wars Logo after the first rip, and then tearing away at the rest of it like a deranged badger until we found out what we were about to add to our collection. We have less fond memories of giving all that stuff away to various young relatives only to have become insanely valuable later on. Doh.

Correctness survey question: Did you own the big expensive multi level Death Star Playset,

or the somewhat less expensive rounded cardboard dealie?

23. “No…I am your Father!!!”

Before it became a punchline this was the biggest mindfuck there ever was. This was long before the internet and spoilers, so it was the subject of SERIOUS playground debate for three years. Was he lying? The “That’s not true, that’s impossible!” faction said yes, but the “Search your Feelings” faction knew otherwise. An audible exhalation of bated breath was heard in the theatres world wide in 1983 after the words “Your father he is”.

24. Nien Nunb

That’s right, The Correctness is down with The Nunb, bitches. You might say that we are “Comfortably Nunb”. If fact, we think he is the THIRD Rebel super spy, and he is one of the few beings in the Galaxy who can pull off the whole 1920′s aviator cap thing.He could also kick Chuck Norris’ ass in a fight. Pure speculation on our part, perhaps, but we stand by it.

25. Luke Skywalker

Okay, he’s kinda whiney, but the dude is an ICON. He blew up the Death Star, rescued Princess Leia, redeemed his father, and you have to admit, he was pretty bad ass while rescuing Han from Jabba’s palace. Plus Mark Hamill went on to do a kick ass Joker. So the Correctness salutes you, Luke for being our wide eyed guide through the Universe we love so much. Tell you what, take the rest of the afternoon off, head on down to Toshi station and pick up a set of power converters on us. You deserve it, buddy.

So there it is…our Gushing Love Letter to Star Wars. We loved it then, we love it now. We make sure our kids love it, and annoy our wives and girlfriends with it. Did we miss something? Forget your favorite? Neglect to hold you like we did by the lake on Naboo? Let your outrage spill forth in the comment section.

25 Responses to “25 Things Right with The Star Wars Universe”

1. Amber says:

   August 27, 2009 at 3:47 pm

   It’s nice to see an article talking about the things you love! May not foster as many arguments, but good for you guys!

   I may not be as hard core as the correctness, but I also fondly remember my Princess Leia action figure. Thank you George Lucas for giving girls a role model that is strong and feminine!

     Amber(Quote)  (Reply)

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2. M-Daddy says:

   August 27, 2009 at 4:59 pm

   Had to go with the Carradine reference, eh? Couldn’t have used Michael Hutchence way out. No one cares about him any more. Cold, boys. Cold.

     M-Daddy(Quote)  (Reply)

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3. Skink says:

   August 28, 2009 at 1:42 pm

   I would avert my eyes from Mr. Lucas’ only because I couldn’t bear to see the creepy way his head joins to his shoulders without the need for a neck. It’s like his body just extruded a pod with hair and a face on it.

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4. thx01138 says:

   August 28, 2009 at 1:50 pm

   You know, you don’t *have* to believe that Boba Fett died in Return of the Jedi.

   Join the EU Completist side, and we can rule the galaxy as geeker and geek.

     thx01138(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • Holly says:

     August 28, 2009 at 6:28 pm

     I said this in the 25 Things that Suck About Star Wars; if you were TRUE nerds you would have read the book where Fett does NOT die….

       Holly(Quote)  (Reply)

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     • Tom B says:

       September 25, 2009 at 9:28 pm

       Not to make too fine a point, but long before the seriously-late-in-arriving books on Boba Fett (like back when the only ST novels were Splinter in the Mind’s Eye and Brian Dailey’s Solo trio), a UK star wars comic told us all about Boba Fett.

       Sarlacc spit him out (not fond of mostly metal meals). He was found by Jawas I recall. In the long run, some odd amnesia-driven coincidence put him in the same Dune Sea with Han. Han tried to save him, but he remembered who he was, decided he was still pissed at Han, and went back into the Mouth of Sarlacc with an entire Sandcrawler.

       The great part though was the background about him – about the Mandalorians. Seeing other Mandalorean protectors that hadn’t gone all cold and mercenary… now, the storylines with Mandaloreans from the Republic Commando books and from KOTORII are great, but the original comic story might have made an even better baseline.

       And more importantly, it would have meant, sometime in the prequels, seeing *many* badasses dressed in Fettian armour. How awesome would that have been?

         Tom B(Quote)  (Reply)

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       • Joba Fett says:

         November 14, 2009 at 6:59 am

         Your an idiot. Get the facts. Fett burned his way out and Dangar found him.

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5. James says:

   August 28, 2009 at 1:55 pm

   I did have the full size death star playset. It came with a trash compacter monster and foam trash which I loved more than the huge gun. Sadly while playing with my friend he fell on it and broke it.

     James(Quote)  (Reply)

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6. Ted says:

   August 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

   3 things that I would include –

   1. The asteroid scene from Empire, which is amazing when you remember it was done with models, as we live in the CGI era. Especially the dialogue, when the hyperdrive doesn’t work and Han says, “It’s not fair!”

   2. The opening POV shot for Revenge of the Sith. That one, continuous shot is incredible.

   3. The sweet double-hand chop move that Anakin put on Count Dooku. I think it’s more vicious than the subsequent decapitation.

   I actually could go on for a few more but I will go back to work now.

     Ted(Quote)  (Reply)

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7. Dangerpin says:

   August 28, 2009 at 6:17 pm

   You picked Nien Nunb over Wedge Antilles!? Seriously, even Luke says Wedge is a better fighter pilot than he is. If Wedge hadn’t saved Luke, he never could have made the shot that popped the Death Star. He took out the first AT-AT in the Hoth battle by using his tow rope, and he blasted the power regulator that let Lando destroy the core of the second death star. Wedge is the unsung hero of the Rebellion and Nunb is…..what, a temporary stand-in for Chewie’s Co-Pilot job?

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   • Tbinns says:

     August 29, 2009 at 1:17 pm

     We here at the Correctness do not dispute Wedge’s awesomeness. However you must admit putting someone with even less screen time than Boba Fett on the list is kinda funny.It certainly makes us giggle.

       Tbinns(Quote)  (Reply)

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8. Holly says:

   August 28, 2009 at 6:26 pm

   Ah, lightsabres… The UCT (Universal Cutting Tool)…

     Holly(Quote)  (Reply)

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9. Dyster says:

   August 28, 2009 at 10:24 pm

   I would agree with you about Darth Maul. I just jump to the scenes he’s in. I also still have 1/2 of my SW toys from the 70′s. I’m a little afraid to give them to my 3 yr old as I’ve save them for 30 yrs but he’s way too destructive. Cool list!

     Dyster(Quote)  (Reply)

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10. Uncle Soondead says:

    August 30, 2009 at 2:03 am

    The only thing that made the list from the prequels was Darth Maul. I agree with Maul but what about Jenga, Yoda’s fighting, Emperor can fight too, Grievous (not the wierd coughing though), and Padme’s glass cutting nips!

      Uncle Soondead(Quote)  (Reply)

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11. Old Iron says:

    September 2, 2009 at 6:12 am

    I know I am a little late to the game but I watched Return last night while drinking a bottle of shitty vodka, and that scene when Nien Nunb was in in the cockpit with Landau all I could think of was that Lucas wanted an alien that had a face like a spread set of beef curtains with eyes on top.

    I will never look at my girlfriend’s vag the same again.

    Chills, man. Chills.

      Old Iron(Quote)  (Reply)

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12. Debra says:

    September 3, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Sad to say, there were spoilers in 1983. They were called living in a small town that sometimes didn’t get movies until after the simul-published books came out. I was sitting on a bus coming back from a school trip when my best friend, who was reading the Empire Strikes Back book, exclaimed “Huh!” Like an idiot, I asked “What?” So she told me.

    Right up there with the kid next to me in ET who said — when I was tearing up at the squishy guy’s death — “It’s okay. He comes back to life in about five minutes.”

      Debra(Quote)  (Reply)

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13. Irene says:

    September 16, 2009 at 9:28 am

    Argh! I feel the urge to correct you. You all other nerdy guys really ought to thank Aggie Guerard Rodgers for the metal bikini, and her ‘no lingerie in space’ rule for the added thrill of adhesive tape.

    And I guess a tip of the cap to Frank Frazetta.

    And James Earl Jones for making Darth Vader work.

    And Jim Henson for Yoda.

    But mainly, that bikini, thank Aggie!

      Irene(Quote)  (Reply)

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14. Mike says:

    September 25, 2009 at 11:04 am

    I distinctly remember some little bastard in my school had somehow gotten the novelization of ESB about a week before it opened.

    He went around showing everyone the ‘I am your father’ line.

    And I have the big ass cool Death Star. I always enjoyed making Luke fall down the elevator shaft, then dropping the elevator car onto him.

      Mike(Quote)  (Reply)

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15. Dan says:

    October 2, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    I had the Death Star Playset. I was intrigued by the foam “trash”, but sorely disappointed that the compactor wall would not close all the way. I so desperately wanted to showcase the alternate ending to Episode IV where, in fact, R2 is too late and our favorite heroes are smashed into “who knows what”.

      Dan(Quote)  (Reply)

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16. Joba Fett says:

    November 14, 2009 at 6:56 am

    Boba Fett did not die you dumb shit

      Joba Fett(Quote)  (Reply)

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    • admin_rock says:

      November 14, 2009 at 9:15 am

      Thanks for your kind and polite reply. It’s so refreshing to engage in actual debate, compared to some of the responses we get around here.

      See you at the round table.

        admin_rock(Quote)  (Reply)

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17. Snaitf says:

    August 10, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    While I agree with this list, there is one thing I would add: Admiral Ackbar!! Actually, I like him above Nien Nunb.

    Because he knew it was a trap.

      Snaitf(Quote)  (Reply)

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18. Holly says:

    August 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    I agree pretty much with all that has been posted so far…

    But I’m partial to Antilles because I read the novels and he had a lot more involvement than you would first think.

    Anyone hear of Wes Janson? Janson and Wedge Antilles had perfected their coordination as gunner and pilot during the Battle of Hoth. He happened to meet with one of my Star Wars RPG characters in game. Which was cool. He was feeling really bad because his really good friend, Porkins, got killed because Janson had the flu and couldn’t fight. My friend got the actor, Ian Liston’s signature for me on a photo… Signed to my Star Wars character, Aria! 8D

    Just in case you aren’t nerdy enough to know this, here is the breakdown:
    http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/wesjanson/index.html

    It is a LITTLE obscure, I suppose, but only if you didn’t dig for interesting stuff to play in SW RPG.

      Holly(Quote)  (Reply)

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19. Steve D says:

    March 28, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Awesome this is. Totally agree do I.

      Steve D(Quote)  (Reply)

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20. Steve D says:

    March 28, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    P.S. Especially #10.

      Steve D(Quote)  (Reply)

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