The Robbie Robtown Fan Club | The Correctness

The Robbie Robtown Fan Club

Posted by on Jun 28th, 2010 in Correctness, Writing | 30 comments

Apparently, he’s got one.

On Sunday, the wife and I decided we would head out to the farmer’s market at Currie Barracks. I usually stop in two places there for sure, the place where I get Farmer’s sausage, which is like bacon but 6-8 times the awesome, and Simple Simon Pies, which are 6-8 times more awesome than that, even.

I was proudly wearing my Correctness T-shirt at the time. Not so much in an effort to advertise, as it was part of my life long quest to associate myself with something that has a logo. When I stopped at the sausage place, a sprightly young lass behind the counter said “Oh my God, WHERE did you GET That SHIRT?”

“Uh we made it” I said, confused. I was focused on sausage at the time, any distraction at that point would send me reeling.

“I love that site. It’s like crack to me.” she said.

Well, how could I do anything but beam at this point?

“Oh, well, I’m a writer for the correctness, I’m Tbinns.” I said, trying to sound humble and waiting for the wave of adulation that would surely follow.

“oooohhhh.” She said.

Now, let’s discuss that “Ohhhhh” for a moment, because the tone of this “Ohhhh” is important.

This was not “ooohhhhhh that’s so great.” Nor was it an “ooohhhh that makes sense why you’d have the shirt.” Or even “oooohhh I have seen the face of pure comedy at last, I am now complete as a human being.”

This was the kind of “oooohhh” that usually follows the sentence “My cat just died.” The kind of “ooohhh”that is traditionally followed by “That’s too bad” or “I’m sorry” or “ I guess we aren’t going to the zoo today and having ice cream.” It was a pungent and heady mix of sympathy and disappointment.

“I’m more of a Robbie Robtown girl.” She said.

And that was the end of that little trip to Egotown

I was chatting to her about how I too was a fan of Rob’s work , all the while basking in the irony that someone who sells giant sausage just emasculated me in that way. But she was a very pleasant girl (I think her name was Amanda) and we chatted a bit about Comic –con, and whether or not she would be inclined to purchase said shirt, and how she thinks she met Rob once but wasn’t sure…etc.

She took a break in her abject Rob worship long enough to sell me some sausage, we said our goodbye’s and said once again how much she enjoyed the blog.

Now, Rob, as you loyal readers know, is the only single member of the Correctness. This encounter with one of his ,I am assuming numerous, female fanbase got me thinking we should probably take advantage of his internet fame in the time honored way most people do, and at least try to hook a brother up.

That’s why I am officially announcing, without his knowledge or consent, the WIN A DREAM DATE WITH ROBBIE ROBTOWN CONTEST!

Don’t worry about the whole him not agreeing to this at all thing…Dave and I are bigger than he is, he’ll damn well do as he’s told.

The contest is open to anyone, even males (I think it’s time we broadened his horizons) to enter, just tell us what your dream date with Robbie Robtown might entail. Feel free to add poo jokes. He likes those. Contest Closes August 1st.

The winner gets a night out on the Robbie Robtown!

Oh, and unlike our previous contest, we will totally follow up and actually give out the prize. And by totally, we mean probably. And by probably we mean hopefully. And by hopefully we mean don’t hold your breath, but it might happen someday.

Good Luck…and thanks for the sausage Amanda.

(Please note contest not open to Rob’s family, or residents of Quebec. Although sex is implied it is not guaranteed, The Correctness is not to be held responsible if all he wants to do is cuddle and talk about his day)

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30 Responses to “The Robbie Robtown Fan Club”

  1. avatar admin_rock says:
    June 28, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    Brilliant!

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  2. avatar RobbieRobTown says:
    June 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    Why not Quebec? There are a lot of hotties in Quebec. Contest regulation thing?

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  3. avatar AmandaTheSausageGirl says:
    June 28, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Firstly, I am in heaven that TBinns would include an interaction me in his wonderful words of wit. Can we say “Wholesale Price on Farmer’s Sausage”?

    Secondly, to all of Robbie Robtown’s fans (girls AND boys alike): You’re welcome :D

    Thirdly, I feel as though I need to perhaps explain the tone of my “oooohhhh.” You see, TBinns had with him a young lady of immense beauty. Unsure of wether it was his wife, girlfriend, or trained Ninja bodyguard, I didn’t want to go all fan-crazy on him, because I am sure she has dealt with his fans before, and has powned all of them with her impressive skills.

    So thank you, TBinns, for making my day with this quaint correctness.com entry. But please, for the love of all that is holy, please don’t tell your ninja about my comments, as I need my right arm (and the rest of me that is attached to it) to sample some of that delicious sausage you love. Cheers!

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  4. avatar Tomass says:
    June 29, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Pfst! Who would want to date a two dimensional stick man? I mean come on, if things went well and you had sex, my gawd the horror! your 2d razor sharp penis would perforate any 3d flesh-human vagina (or possibly anus?). There would be blood everywhere, people could die!

    RobbieRobTown for the good of the humanity you may never date outside of your stick man race.

    You could always retool the contest. I am to understand from the internets that Nathan Fillion is single, from Alberta, a geek & I am also told he is spicey man meat goodness.

    Or you could make it a contest I could enjoy and retool it to win a date with the last 36 Playboy cover girls.

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  5. avatar NotVictoria says:
    June 29, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Ohhhhhhhhh It take a contest to date Rob? Cause I have been trying for the past two months with no avail. Much like the pink Mary Kay Cadillac you can only win one, and not just go out and get one.

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    • avatar NotVictoria says:
      July 2, 2010 at 1:03 am

      My Dream Date With the Hunky R.R.Town – (Based on a Real legitimate Dream I had while trying to think of a submission for the contest but proceeded to fall asleep cause I was writing other stuff really late on my laptop in bed)

      I had to meet with Rob at his place for a date (which happened to be one of those Japanese houses with rice-paper walls). He had like 500 of those Dog statues that are made of rabbit fur/Styrofoam that you get at weird gift shops. (http://www.wildlifetreasures.com/images/dogs7.jpg)
      Rob was all like “Hey do you mind feeding my dogs?….I gotta go play DnD” So he left and I was stuck feeding these stupid fake Dogs. Except every time I tried to pick one up they would either shrink or Disintegrate. So having wrecked all of his dogs I went to apologize…I found him playing DnD in a McDonald’s that was covered in fossils, except he wasn’t playing DnD as much as he was playing scrabble with a D20 instead of letter blocks. I told him thats not DnD we argued for a while and I gave up and I went to try to order french fries at the fossil Mcdonald’s except there were the thrown out scrabble pieces in all the food. Than it all turned in to a different dream involving an old fling. Then Rob got mad at me because I was supposedly supposed to be on a date with him bu I was on a date with someone else also because the roof to his rice paper house was missing.

      So in short on our dream date-
      *Rob Would Fuck off at the Beginning of the evening
      *I would Accidentaly Wreck his dog figurines
      *We would do Dinner at Mc Donalds
      *I would hook up with a different dude
      *Rob Accuses me of Grand Theft Ceiling

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  6. avatar RobbieRobTown says:
    June 29, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Also, has anyone mentioned this contest to Emma Stone?

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  7. avatar RobbieRobTown says:
    June 30, 2010 at 10:21 am

    Also, we have reached, thanks to Admin_Rock, the far outer limits of tiny box technology.

    I raise the Emma Stone issue again.

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    • avatar Tbinns says:
      June 30, 2010 at 10:51 am

      I will be sure to forward this to Ms. Stone, as well as Ms. Hathaway, Ms. Page, Ms. Portman, oh wait I have no idea how to contact any of those women.

      I’ll send it to my aunt, how about?

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    • avatar Tomass says:
      June 30, 2010 at 11:07 am

      It looks like you can;

      “View agent, manager, publicist and legal contact info on IMDbPro.”

      …for just about anyone, if you are so inclined. Seems a little creepy to me, but who am I to comment on the activities of a floating head.

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      • avatar RobbieRobTown says:
        June 30, 2010 at 11:49 am

        Tomass, I have been tolerant until now, but if you continue to compare me to a beholder, I will use my cone of anti-magic, and then I will summon the fuck out of some rust monsters. We’ll just see how your Elven armor holds up then.

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        • avatar Tomass says:
          June 30, 2010 at 12:32 pm

          * 1 *
          *fails*

          *Natural 20*
          *success!*

          *18 + (+24 ride land based creature, +6 Favored mount, -4 shaken) = +44*
          *success!*

          “Upon hearing the threats of RobbieRobTown, Legendary Proto-Beholder, Tomass promptly wets himself.”

          “The urine drenched coward leaps for his trusty mount ‘Goat-Thulu’. Twisting through the air he lands with a squish on to the beast back. Then spurs the fiendish Capra aegagrus hircus to pedal for all it’s worth.”

          “The squeaking of bicycle parts, bleating of the steed and shrieking of your foe can be heard even after they vanish out of sight over the horizon.”

          5692XP to RobbieRobTown for peaceful defeat of foe.

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  8. avatar Irene says:
    July 8, 2010 at 2:13 am

    This is my contest submission. It isn’t really me, unless i win and then it totally is. Of course, I couldn’t actually go on the date since I live overseas (and those rumors about me being a 60 year old Polish shut in with a collection of hummel figurines that I treat like real children are COMPLETELY FALSE). But if I could go on the date, and this were actually me then this is what I envisage:

    To begin with, I am kind of short on cash so it would need to be a kind of work/ leisure combo. One of my uncles is in shipping and he can get us a free berth on the Nostromo, all we have to do is look after the ship’s cat. Once we arrive at the resort island, I will whisk you off for a dinner and a show at Westworld. I haven’t been there but I hear it’s awesome and I have free tickets to the barfight! The island is pretty safe but don’t feed the polar bears, and if anyone asks you to press a button just run like fuck. After the show, we can have dinner at a cafe called Rick’s, I have to drop off some documents for my cousin Laszlo for another uncle, plus the beans are to die for. Beans make you poop more. We can grab a seat on a plane and head for home after all that. Better pack your pony grooming brushes because if I know my family, my Uncle Vito will have arranged a surprise gift for you in your house!

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  9. avatar NotVictoria says:
    August 6, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Who Won?!? I feel I got Bested last minute.

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