Dear Joe Jackson

If you have indeed seen gorillas walking with pretty women down your street perhaps you should be less concerned about who your ex is dating and more concerned about calling the Animal Control people.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Guy in Detroit Rock City,

To answer your last (final?) question about why your are going to die, it has to do with a fatal combination of speed, your self confessed inability to turn in time, the gigantic truck bearing down on you and some rather elementary physics. If you have any further questions…oh. Too late, never mind.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Beatles

I feel it would be remiss of me not to point out that there are, in fact only 7 days in a week. Perhaps in future you should not put Ringo in charge of the calendar. Or scheduling.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Sympathy for the Devil Guy.

I give up. I have no idea what your name is. Perhaps if you stopped hooting and dropping oblique hints and just told me , (Or perhaps worn a nametag?) our conversation might have gone a lot smoother.

P.S. Why were you out jogging with David Lee Roth?

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear War,

After an informal poll with many of my friends, I have found that pretty much none of them know the low rider. Perhaps you could give the low rider a Facebook page to improve it’s profile.

Sincerely,

Tbinns

Dear Glass Tiger,

Please accept my apologies, as I totally forgot you when you were gone. Practically the very minute you left. And I must confess some part of me was relieved.

Sincerely,

Tbinns

Dear Beyonce,

YOUR left or MY Left? Stage Left? please clarify.

Sincerely,

TBinns