The Correctness Casting Couch : Wonder Woman

Well kids, it’s time to cast the big one…Diana, the Amazon who in our Smackdown series somewhat controversially handed Captain America his ass on a shield, as it were. Her powers, like Superman’s, vary wildly depending on who you talk to but there is no doubt about her iconic status and her ability to not only hang with, but occasionally even beat the Big Boys.

The Correctness Casting Couch (finally)presents: Wonder Woman.

So Who Are We Replacing?

Well, we aren’t really. Linda Carter was so long ago and is, I’m sure, so treasured in our memories that we wouldn’t think of REPLACING her. Rather we will be focusing on the news that David E. Kelly, he of the wacky lawyer shows, has been given the go ahead by ABC to develop a Wonder Woman TV series. Now lets assume for the moment that he will give the Diana her due and make a good series instead of making her a lawyer by day who deals with a love triangle between her, Supes and Batman , and worries about her biological clock, and has so much “quirkiness” in her life it’s enough to choke the Giant Seahorse Aquaman rides on.

Lets assume it is a straightforward action adventure series, with Diana going from the Amazon Jungle to the urban jungle, kicking asses and taking names…as it should be.

In The Running

Sophia Bush

Not terribly familiar with her work but I have heard her name bandied about on the internet. I think she could pull it off, given the right circumstances. I’d have to see a screen test, but I think for a modern take on Wonder Woman, you could do worse.

Jodi Lyn O Keefe

Again, not super familiar with her work, but she certainly appears to have the kind of intensity the part would require. Maybe instead of a screen test, her and Sophia should just fight it out. The Amazons would be proud.

The “If You Were 5 Inches Taller And Had About 5-10 More Pounds of Muscle On You Award” Goes To…

Mila Kunis

Way too petite for the part, I know but she definitely has an exotic, captivating look. Apparently she was quite good in “Black Swan” so she has the chops. I can definitely see the tiara on her, she has the right face for it…but unless you have elevator boots and steroids in the contract, not quite the ass kicker you need here.

Hey, You Know Who I DON’T Want To Play The Part?

Megan Fox

Look at those eyes…they are utterly dead. They almost NEVER portray any kind of emotion…bored, lifeless zombie eyes. It’s like she was created whole cloth by Robert Zemekis for one of his 3-d animated films. She IS the Uncanny valley .She looks like one of those “Real” sex dolls and has about as much personality. No…no no no…definitely not, despite what a myriad of photoshop enthusiasts on the internet would have you believe.

And the “If I Had a Time Machine” Award goes to

IT’S A TIE!!!

Lucy Lawless circa 1997

Seriously. Come on. It’s like the Pierce Brosnon Bond. Do we even need to discuss this?

And

Jennifer Connolley Circa 1995

Hollywood got to her somewhere around 2000 or so and she became hopelessly skinny, but back in the day she had curves, acting chops, and sci-fi nerd cache. She is still a rather exquisite creature even today, but back then she would have been absolutely ideal.

The Top Three

3. Cobie Smulders

She has gone on record as saying the Wonder Woman casting thing is the curse of every actress with long dark hair, but I truly believe she could do something very interesting with the part and look good doing it. This choice also fulfills our Canadian Content mandate here on the Correctness, so everybody wins.

2. Ashley Greene

Yes, the chick from Twilight. It makes economic sense, if you are selling the thing to young girls who are looking for a strong female role model…they are more likely to buy into someone they already know and like. And I suppose there is a section of fanboy out there who prefers their Wonder Woman to be a little less butch. If that is the direction you want to go with it…you can’t get a much better choice than Ashley here.

And the #1 Choice for Wonder Woman is….

Megan Gale

“Uhhh…Tbinns? She already WAS cast as Wonder Woman, you lazy Canadian Fuck”

Yeah I know, but we didn’t actually get to see it…and in this case I think Miller’s casting was bang on the money. In fact it was the only casting choice in the whole doomed Justice League endeavor that didn’t make me scratch my head a little. Besides LOOK at her… Take a look at this picture…

And take a look at this one

It’s almost like she modeled for the thing. She has the look, the height, everything. If this woman came charging out at me with an Amazon battle cry I would be both frightened and aroused…which is EXACTLY how it should be for Wonder Woman.

So there it is…David E. Kelley take note, please, for the love of God, no campy lawyer shit.

Oh who am I kidding…it’s going to be complete shit.

So, while I’ve got you…who am I missing? What other Superheroines would you like to see on the Casting Couch?

Leave you suggestions, and of course your comments below. In the meantime…I’ll be in my bunk.

18 Responses to “The Correctness Casting Couch : Wonder Woman”

1. Ringo says:

   February 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

   Cast ME as her invisible plane !!

   piece n love,

   R

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2. Ringo says:

   February 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

   I meant a piece of love…

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3. Maberso (Stats Porn) says:

   February 1, 2011 at 1:09 pm

   Dazzler?

   Batgirl? (that crap from Batman and Robin does not count)

   Firestar?

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4. Will says:

   February 1, 2011 at 1:27 pm

   Who ARE some of these young starlets you mention? I barely recognize any of them, but think I should maybe be watching things like Twilight…

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   • Maberso (Stats Porn) says:

     February 1, 2011 at 1:34 pm

     Hold a second while I put on my geek glasses…

     Dazzler was on the x-men. I never read much about her in comics….only saw her on the x-men arcade game.

     Batgirl….

     Firestar – Comic book heroine, but came to fame as one of spiderman’s amazing friends. see link

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWkQLjcCAvo

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   • Artor says:

     February 3, 2011 at 10:18 pm

     No, you should NOT be watching Twilight!

     I nominate Bridget Regan, from Legend of the Seeker. She looks good in fight scenes, she has the hair & the figure, and isn’t a confessor’s power a little similar to that golden lasso?

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5. Tbinns says:

   February 1, 2011 at 1:37 pm

   I believe he was referring to my choices…not your characters. I know Will, he is plenty nerd enough to know who you are talking about

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6. Maberso (Stats Porn) says:

   February 1, 2011 at 1:40 pm

   doh…I am so disconnected from hollywood and immersed in the geekdom that I naturally thought starlets might heroines not the hot girls you posted above.

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7. Maberso (Stats Porn) says:

   February 1, 2011 at 1:41 pm

   “meant” not “might”

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8. spcMIKE says:

   February 1, 2011 at 2:53 pm

   I could see Colbie Smulders. Her Maxim cover was pretty wonderful.

   But I’d like to add Kim Smith from Friday Night Lights.

   http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0808990/

   She’s got the added benefit of being from Texas and has the height for the role.

   Can we get a Power Girl casting couch going?

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9. Will says:

   February 1, 2011 at 2:59 pm

   Yeah, I meant Sophia Bush and Jodi Lynne O’Keefe and Ashley Greene. Haven’t really seen any of those stars before.

   Dazzler – Horrible movie idea for this era (although a subplot of an X-men movie featuring the Hellfire Club would be good). A young starlet with vocals, dance moves and blonde hair. I shudder at the reasonable suggestions for this one.

   Batgirl – I think this would also be a tough movie to sell (Birds of Prey the TV show flopped). Maybe Kate Beckinsale when she was first doing her Underworld movies.

   Firestar – There are so many red haired women in comic books, but so few actresses to play them. You might as well just refer to this fine article by the same author… http://www.thecorrectness.com/movies/the-correctness-casting-couch-mary-jane-watson/

   I would actually propose an X-men movie featuring Dazzler and Firestar as a set of recruits being fought over by the X-men and (classic) Hellfire Club, considering both characters started out being targeted by the White Queen.

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10. Tbinns says:

    February 1, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    I had never heard of Kim Smith…but BRA-VO!! I would gladly trade out Sophia Bush for her.

    Power Girl…also a good call.

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11. Tomass says:

    February 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    …Mmmm…

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12. deepfriedcheese says:

    February 3, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Time machine: Liz Vassey from a decade ago. She’s already played a superhero (of sorts) in The Tick and had the look.

    If she were 12 inches taller: Kristen Chenoweth. The shape of her face and intensity of her eyes are perfect. In fact, since everything is CGI these days, pour some Grecian Formula on her head and make the set 3/4 scale. Let’s do this thing!

    Suggestion to make you go Hmmm….: Sandra Bullock. She has the star power to really make it a hit and the range to pull it off. If you’ve seen The Proposal you know she could still rock the uniform. And if you are of the right age (mine) she will give off that same “older woman ILF” vibe that Linda Carter did when I was a kid.

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13. Will says:

    February 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Today I heard the most disturbing rumour about this: Katy Perry.

    Another good suggestion was Minka Kelly. She’s certainly easy on the eyes – Sexiest Woman Alive accoring to Esquire.

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14. Chelsea says:

    February 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    Me…please.

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15. Tbinns says:

    February 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    I will need to see some credentials, Miss.

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16. Doug Winship says:

    February 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    If you were to fire up the way back machine, then the one I always thought would be perfect was Catherine Bell.

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