Funding proposal: PenisHats.com, or,
My totally awesome idea:
For some time now, I have been secretly saving a totally awesome get-rich-quick scheme. It’s penishats.com, a website that sells of a wide variety of comfortable hats, and accessories, for flaccid penises. Touques, baseball caps, pirate hats, bandanas, cowboy hats, fireman’s helmets, sheriff’s badges, neckties, tiny leather holsters, scabbards, machine guns, maybe even tiny beards. Possibly, googlie eyes.
I imagine as a kind of free spirited haberdashery, but you know, for your dick.
First off it is penishats.com. It is hats, for penises, not shats for a single peni. Nor, I should further clarify, is it “pen is hats” which makes no goddamn sense at all.
Second, it is for flaccid penises. Erect penises don’t need clothes, unless you want to buy our new line of tiny Incredible Hulk Tear-Away-Penis-T-Shirts, which rip off your dong as it engorges with love blood and turns green, or some such. I’ve never had an erection actually, so I don’t know. Mainly though, the point is, it is hats for your flaccid penis, which can nestle comfortably on the tip of your wang, and make you giggle when you drop your pants.
Think of the promotional opportunities! Every urinal in the world would need a tiny “PenisHats.com” branded hat rack beside it, so you can rest your tiny Yankees ball cap somewhere’s while you pee. Not to mention the sales of PenisHats.com Urinal Hat Rack Cleanser ™! Freezing male pornstars could wear tiny wool caps on their penises in taut, wintery period porno like “Ice Age: Legal” and “Dr Zhifuckgo starring O-my-ar Sharifuck” (Julie Christie? Two first names? PORN ACTRESS).
Anyways, I hope you all take the time to consider my proposal for funding for the PenisHats.com, an idea which I feel has been a long, hard time coming. Cock.