A Super Handy Slur to Use on White Males

Posted by RobbieRobTown on Sep 20th, 2010 in Advice, Correctness, Writing | 10 comments

Dear Non-White-Male correctness reader:

You know, we were having a conversation the other day at The Correctness. A grown up, political conversation about how infuriatingly hard it is to insult white males, because, as the entitled culture of authority and power, nothing really hurts our feelings that much. You can call me a cracker, or greymeat, or gringo, or whatever, but it just doesn’t sting like our bleachy-white and bleachy-caustic lexicon of slurs we have for you folks. At the end of the day, we still have all that annoying capital, and equity, and those reassuring smug savings plans, and reusable grocery bags made of organic cotton that required ten times as much water to grow than pesticidey cotton. We’re a hard target!

But I’ve got one for you: One that you can use on any white dude you see, that will hurt, that will raise eyebrows, that will damage and demean him, and he will have no recourse. Better yet, there is simply no way any white dude in his right mind will ever try to reclaim this word like our black friends have done with the “N” word, and our gay friends have done with the “F” word (No, not “Freddy Mercury” you misguided GLBTQQA BYOB BBQ hostess). No rich white dude will ever give a high five to his golf buddies and call him this word affectionately.

The word you should try using is: Pedophile.

“Pedophile!” you can shout, as you point at any white guy- Especially if he is a parent, and is carting his kids around the park. “Pedophile!” you might scream again, as you stare sternly at him, your accusing glare unblinking.

At best he will manage stammering “I… I, uh, I most certainly, uh, am not!” but more than likely he will waddle away quickly as he tries to gather up his kids in his arms without looking all creepy.

So, for our non-white-male friends, I give you the best future slur for white males: Pedophile.

Ain’t that right, my pedos? (see? “Reclaiming” it sounds awful.)

Sincerely,

RobbieRobtown

10 Responses to “A Super Handy Slur to Use on White Males”

1/4 20 says:

September 21, 2010 at 5:11 am

you are an evil little man.

1/4 20(Quote) (Reply)

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spcMike says:

September 21, 2010 at 7:00 am

Nicely done my pedo!

I’m taking it back!

spcMike(Quote) (Reply)

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n8 says:

September 21, 2010 at 7:11 am

What have you done…? What the HELL have you DONE!?!?

n8(Quote) (Reply)

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Elmock says:

September 21, 2010 at 7:16 am

this word is used too much as it is. Do you really want to make it that much less meaningful?

Elmock(Quote) (Reply)

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- RobbieRobTown says:
  
  September 21, 2010 at 9:29 pm
  
  Well, the point was to find something sufficiently demeaning.
  
  RobbieRobTown(Quote) (Reply)
  
  Reply
  - Elmock says:
    
    September 22, 2010 at 12:10 pm
    
    at this point your just making one problem worse with out really fixing the other. Hell right now in the USA just being called white is about the worst thing ever. You dont need to compound this by adding a completely life destroying title like pedo around. Just the idea that someone might think your a ped will get you put on the list, with the people branded for life as sex offender for pissing outside, and holding there kids hands.
    
    Elmock(Quote) (Reply)
    
    Reply
WWTPO III says:

September 21, 2010 at 7:17 pm

The problem with this is it is not illegal to be a “N” word or a “F” word. However it is illegal to be a pedophile… not just illegal, but the type of illegal that makes your fellow prison inmates take extra special interest in you.
So the very utterance of that word in today’s society is enough to cause whatever local child welfare agency to come and make that man’s life a living hell. So bear in mind that words do have mean, and actions do have consequences.

WWTPO III(Quote) (Reply)

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- RobbieRobTown says:
  
  September 21, 2010 at 9:29 pm
  
  They sure do! And that is the point, isn’t it. What kind of phrases could disempower a white male? Answer: see above.
  
  RobbieRobTown(Quote) (Reply)
  
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Perryn says:

October 4, 2010 at 10:40 am

I for one am outraged at this. Clearly, we depend on this site to provide us with actual solutions to society’s greatest problems. Instead, we get an article that could at best be called humorous. How dare you, sir. How dare you clog up our Internet with your non-productive endeavors.

Perryn(Quote) (Reply)

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- RobbieRobTown says:
  
  October 5, 2010 at 9:14 pm
  
  Good point, sorry.
  
  RobbieRobTown(Quote) (Reply)
  
  Reply

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