“Why I Hate the Batman” by Bane
The Correctness has obtained an exclusive piece of viral marketing for the upcoming “Dark Knght Rises” Here is a transcript of a recording that Bane made and broadcasts at a vital point in the movie. WARNING! SPOILERS!!
Helllrgmmm.
Flerm firrr hurrr nef igreee nerp flwww we Gotham. Grolwth froom murrmer ruhm bhrar flang Batman knerp fhrrr frah .
HA!
Phrreee nerr scrum derrr flwwer gumpfle snicker prog Catwoman, smrrrf nerf hrrrm. This will not dweeerrr flllrHathaway smrthlflll Jergins jellg na sticky sock, nerrp pgrrrrr reckoning bhurr punishment. Frwwbery knerp hurp durpedeeer liek chocolate milk. Fnreperr groppprobbie robbtown alldouur snafting benjisucksass.
Chamararrr frahh too sting harr shordi Al Roker. Since the dawn of gyreree nig slawden sla eat at joes.
Batman. I call you out gandferrrdeen smarksslaw boog nerdyberd is the word. Phlanet, murbrbreeg dbthuthilian ia ia chthulu if flgharen Bhrabet nergh flubbb (Transmission garbled, undecipherable) head flourdate plebiscite nerg shoulders, knees and toes.
Barharrr, I Re inbreeeflguuble tbinns is back bitches. Neb.
Fr hur. Ne. Fr hur.
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To Doctor Josef Nefario, head of Applied Interglobal Industries, Sept 12, 2008:
Dr Nefario, I'm writing you to inform you that payment is past due for our recent renovations to your Los Angeles office. We had agreed on strict terms, due to the nature of the alterations, which our office strongly advised against. In addition, on our post install visit, our quality control assistant Barry noted that you had failed to apply for the appropriate relaxations and permits, as you had stated you would. Normally, our office would handle these matters, but you were very insistent on this matter.
Our recent poll: "So, What's your deal?", led some interesting conclusions...
And here are the results...
It's no secret that I'm a big fan of superheros, and comic books. Also, love going to movies. But I've come to a conclusion, one that might seem incredulous or shocking on the surface: Hollywood needs to stop making superhero movies.
(Scapulaman, possibly the next big superhero film?)
Maybe not entirely, but 94% of the projects in development should just be scrapped. No Avenger, No Iron Man 3, No Thor, No Spider-Man 4. No prequels, no origin stories, nothing. We'll let the 3rd Dark Knight movie go ahead, but after that, let's ban them from Hollywood for another 5 years or so.
Read More...
Listen, I’m not one to bag on things… Okay, I’m TOTALLY one to do that, but seriously! I came down to San Diego this past weekend, went down to the Convention Center, expecting to get my geek on, and … it’s just terrible. There was no Marvel booth, no DC booth, no movie studios previewing [...]
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Ok, so, this just popped into my head. In the comics, Bane figures out Bruce Wayne is Batman (which I guess isn’t that hard to do since Tim drake figured it out when he was like 10), does movie Bane know Bruce Wayne is Batman? It kind of seems as though he does, but he could also not know and just hate Bruce Wayne for being rich.
But at the same time, Bruce Wayne and Batman both show up in Gotham at the same time, you gotta figure anyone who watched the news could put two and two together.
And of course, we are still left with Mr. Reese from TDK who figured all this out and it’s publicly known that he knows who Batman is, and while it’s implied he wouldn’t tell anyone, I’m pretty sure a guy who can orchestrate his escape from a flying jet by ripping off the wings could get an accountant to talk.
Anyways, I guess what I’m saying is Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman costume needs more side boob.
sgtMIKE(Quote) (Reply)
and front boob. More boob, generally, I feel is needed.
Tbinns(Quote) (Reply)
Tbinns returns, and 10 comments today on the two articles. Coincidence? I think not.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
Get RRT, Benji, CRKeith and a couple more ‘A Case For…’s (I’m working in on it, I swear!) back at it and we might just Fark your servers again!
The M-Daddy(Quote) (Reply)
So, whats is with the summo underwear on Banes face? What actor would agree wear that?
DJ(Quote) (Reply)
DJ,
Tom Hardy, apparently.
sgtMIKE(Quote) (Reply)