10 Horrible Math Based Jokes About The Chick Who Played Winnie Cooper

Danica McKellar took a slightly different tack to being a child star. As opposed to developing a drug habit,becoming Marilyn Manson (Not true, by the way) or knocking off a 7-11, when her stint as Winnie Cooper was done, she went to school and has since become a highly respected award winning math scholar. She is the author of a number of books and actually has a theorem named after her and her two co-authors.

This does not, however, stop her from cashing in on her retro crush status by showing off the goods in Maxim every once in awhile.

Which makes her completely fair game for totally disregarding her accomplishments and objectifying her with a pile of horrendous groan inducing Math Based Sex Jokes.

You are welcome.

So here they are…10 God Awful Math Jokes about the chick who played Winnie Cooper on the Wonder Years.

10. I’d like to round up on her Pi

9. It must be cold in there, I can see her decimal points

8.She’s putting the Bra in Algebra

7. I’d like to find the volume of her isosceles triangle

6. Those pictures are x-rated…and I would totally solve for X

5.Now that is Acute Triangle

4.She doesn’t believe in birth control unless it’s the Algorithm Method.

3. I’d like to grade her Bell Curves

2. I heard she has Multiples

1. If you and she were on a train heading east to Chicago at 250 miles per hour, and a train on the opposite track left at the same time doing 235 miles per hour, how many times would you totally bang this chick in the luggage compartment?

8 Responses to “10 Horrible Math Based Jokes About The Chick Who Played Winnie Cooper”

1. spcMike says:

   May 13, 2010 at 9:47 am

   I’d use Riemann summation on her so we could formally integrate.

   I’d solve her second derivative to find her point of inflection.

   I’d let her pivot her matrix on me.

   I’d like to find the eccentricity of her conic sections.

     spcMike(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • Tbinns says:

     May 13, 2010 at 9:49 am

     And that, sir is EXACTLY what I was hoping people would do when I posted this.

       Tbinns(Quote)  (Reply)

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     • spcMike says:

       May 13, 2010 at 10:29 am

       What’s sad is that is most use I’ve gotten out of my minor in math.

         spcMike(Quote)  (Reply)

       Reply
2. Perryn says:

   May 13, 2010 at 10:23 am

   While I would like to say I would do an irrational number of things with her, the truth is it’s only imaginary.

   Still, I’d denominator.

     Perryn(Quote)  (Reply)

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3. RobbieRobTown says:

   May 13, 2010 at 7:32 pm

   I’d use constructive transfinite ordinal numbers to measure the power of her formal axiomatic systems?

   No, wait…

     RobbieRobTown(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • RobbieRobTown says:

     May 13, 2010 at 7:53 pm

     Something about a difference engine and carry-propogation?

       RobbieRobTown(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • RobbieRobTown says:

     May 13, 2010 at 8:05 pm

     Or, how about:

     I’d make her a formally undecidable proposition!

     Or:

     I’d be willing to spend 45 minutes trying to write a Godel joke, or see if “Euler Diagram” is funny, to get a date with you, because I am going to die alone without at least that much effort.

     That one.

       RobbieRobTown(Quote)  (Reply)

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4. Homer says:

   May 17, 2010 at 8:38 pm

   Her + me= premature ejaculation

   Too simple?

     Homer(Quote)  (Reply)

   Reply