Sure, it’s easy to blame NBC for being complete idiots, and always trying to keep all the talent, even in circumstances that clearly never work. You might be inclined to blame Jay Leno for not just stepping down like he said he would, or refusing to take the Tonight Show. You could even blame Conan, if you ignored Jay’s impassioned plea and were that way inclined. (I am not) I mean after all, he left of his own volition, because he didn’t want to move to 12:05. (Coughcoughintegritycoughcough)

But I think there is a far more sinister force at work here. I have zoomed in on exactly who is at fault for Conan O Brien getting the shaft….

It’s this man….

ANDY RICHTER!!!!!

That’s right, good old lovable Andy is responsible for that whole late night mess.

“But, Tbinns” you’d say if you were to address me by that name, which frankly, I’d rather you didn’t “How could it be Andy’s fault? He’d never screw over Conan.”

Maybe not on purpose. No my friends what happened here is Conan fell victim to what I call The Richter Curse.

Andy is notorious for being involved in awesome stuff that gets canceled long before it’s time.

Exhibit A) Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

The show was hilarious, ahead of it’s time , and featured the ever so lovely Paget Brewster. It had moments of sheer brilliance, and what happened to it? Well first the shifted the time slot and then they shitcanned it all together after just one season.

Exhibit b) Andy Parker P.I.

Critics raved. Hipsters loved it. Canceled after 1 season.

And here are a few other facts to consider. Late Night with Conan O Brien struggled for years before finding an audience…and in those early struggling years, who was by his side? Andy Richter.

That’s okay, you can see him guest on Mr. Show …oh wait… CANCELED!!!!

Hey, guess who guest starred on our much beloved Arrested Development? Oh is that Andy Richter there? CANCELED!!!

Even the Tonight show, that unassailable institution is unable to withstand the power of the Richter Curse. The next time you hear Jay Leno squeaking out “Did you hear about this folks?” in that tone of voice that beats you over the head with the claw hammer of mediocrity…you know who to blame.

“But Tbinns” you say

“I told you to stop calling me that” I say

“But he was in Elf and that was a huge hit” you say

“Well…” I stammer “ Uhhh… shut up.”

Andy, if you are reading this, I beg you…start using your powers for good. Stop picking cool shows to be in. Go do a cameo on Jersey Shore. Be a guest judge on American Idol. Sign up for Dancing with the Stars. Be a corpse on NCIS. Go on Heroes and put it out of its misery. You have the power to make the world a better place… do it Andy. Throw all of your God given common sense and good taste out the window , for all our sakes.

And for the love of God, stay the hell away from 30 Rock.

(Ring Ring)

Oh, excuse me, I have to take this…hello?

WHAT? WHEN?

Liz Lemon’s BROTHER?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

It is too late for her. She is doomed