Dear Shoppers Drug Mart:
Posted by RobbieRobTown | Posted in Correctness | Posted on 29-11-2009
Tags: but there are more shoppers, casual wear, poor market distribution, shoppers drug mart, signs of the apocalypse, soothing ass-cream, Starbucks, starbucks pastries give me hemorrhoids, the McDonalds on the main drag closed, the rest of the economy collapsed but there are a lot of shoppers drug marts, things I hate, topical ointment, unnecessary corporate waste, why are there so many shoppers drug marts?
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Dear Shoppers Drug Mart:
I was just about to go out tonight and buy some deodorant and some soothing ass-cream, when I had a small problem. I realized I was unsure which Shoppers Drug Mart store I should go to!
I was hoping, to save me some time, that you could help me select the Shoppers Drug Mart store located closest to me. There are, by my count, 5 of your stores within a 10 block radius of my house, and I believe a new one has just opened as well?
Also, perhaps you could assist me with another issue. I wore the same socks several days in a row this summer whilst on a long, ill-advised road trip, and it would appear that I am growing a Shoppers Drug Mart franchise (or corporately controlled subsidiary, I don’t actually know which) between my toes. Do you have a topical ointment for this?
In addition, I wonder if you could tell me which of your franchises is closest to a Starbucks? I would like to buy a strong coffee to test the efficacy of my soothing ass-cream, but I simply must be within 2 blocks of a Starbucks so I may apply my soothing ass-cream directly to their “pastries” pre-emptively.
No, I do not have an Optimum card.
Sincerely,
RobbieRobTown
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