Dear Big Trouble in Little China:

It’s been a a year or two since we were together last, but my love for you is still as strong as that day in 1986 when we first met. I loved you then, and I love you now.

I love that you combine elements of Kung-Fu, action, adventure, and comedy films in a giant mash-up, so that I never know what is coming next. I love that you never take yourself too seriously, yet you treat your characters with care and thoroughness. I love your giant battle scenes, complete with bad-ass hand signals. I love the swaggering bravado of Jack Burton, and the fact that while he thinks he’s Indiana Jones, he’s really quite bad at what he does.

I love your cast of interesting and strange characters, from the wild and mysterious Egg Shen to the bright and resourceful Wang Chi (who is either the sidekick, or the hero, depending on how you look at it.) Even Gracie Law, who enters the “Dragon of the Black Pool” restaurant with the line “Don’t Panic, it’s only me, Gracie Law”. She and Jack fire dialogue at each other like they’re in “His Girl Friday.” Speaking of Jack, Jack Burton is the manliest man ever to spit out lines like “I was born ready”,”It’s all in the reflexes”, and “When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.” ” Not to mention David Lo Pan, the ancient sorcerer, and his henchmen, The Three Storms.

I love your rich, detailed sets. The Dragon of the Black Pool is warm and inviting, a restaurant after hours with a family meal being prepared. David Lo Pan’s endless factory with its rooms filled with ornate Chinese artifacts. I love the Chinese Hell of upside Down Sinners (the Chinese have a lot of Hells). I love the paper doors (”Paper? Paper. F*#$ it.”) I even love the cheesy neon lighting that appears in the throne room battle.

I love your quirky plot, following Jack’s attempt to get his truck back, and free Miao Yin from the clutches of Lo Pan. His epic struggle against forces bigger and stronger than himself. I love the Six Demon Bag, and the magic potion that makes him feel pretty good.
I especially love the way Jack charges into battle…well…not so much charges, more “immediately gets knocked out”.

You’re not the most thrilling movie ever made, nor are you the most moving. But you’re perfect at what you do. You’re a cult classic that works hard at telling a story, no matter how ludicrous a plot you weave. You’ve aged MUCH better than say “Buckaroo Banzai”.

So, while new loves come in to my life, and others fade in to the distance, rest assured that I’ll always come back to you.

Love,

admin_rock