The Correctness has gotten its Dorito-dusted fingers on a couple of private memos from the Big Two in comics. Everyone is noticing the amount of press that Marvel had over its new Ultimate Spider-Man, who is half Latino, half African American. Seems like neither company can wait to switch up more characters.

From DC Comics…

Wonder Woman – The new Wonder Woman will be Puerto Rican, a Rosie Perez in “Do The Right Thing” sort of thing.

Superman – Supes is no longer Kryptonian, he’s now from the planet Rigel II. Rigel II has a blue sun, so Earth’s sun makes him really, REALLY strong.

Cyborg – Non human part is now entirely Mac.

Flash – Icelandic.

Batman – Will now be Chinese, and Jewish.

From MARVEL

Captain America – To properly reflect demogrpahics, will be Mexican.

Iron Man – Will be Japanese, constantly upgrading armor to smaller suits.

Hulk – Belgian. Also, to reflect modern values, when he turns Green, he will focus on energy savings.

Fantastic Four – The entire team will now be Scandanavian, and spend time finding ways to improve the standard of living for those around them.

Nick Fury – White guy.

Thor – The Norse thing is confusing to a lot of people, make him Jesus from now on.

We’re heading towards summer, and to comic book fans, that always means a big old crossover. Sometimes, crossover events can be world changing issues of awesomeness, and sometimes, they can just be an excuse for crappy storylines that force readers to buy a ton of books they normally wouldn’t.

This summer, Marvel is bringing us an event called “Fear Itself”, the details of which are still pretty fuzzy. Apparently, it involves the God of Fear causing problems for the Marvel heros, playing their worst fears against them.

DC brings us “Flashpoint”, which, as far as I can tell, involves Professor Zoom rewriting events in history, causing changes in the heroes, etc. DC claims that the event will change the universe forever. Oh, and the only hero that knows things are wrong is Booster Gold.

In light of this, I was pondering crossover events from the past, and trying to determine which of these events had the bigger chance of being decent. There are a lot of factors to consider, so let’s get to it.

Writing:

“Fear Itself” is written primarily by Matt Fraction, almost guaranteeing a million small word boxes with single word sentences. I don’t dislike Fraction, but I haven’t really enjoyed his work on Uncanny X-Men. “Flashpoint” is helmed by Geoff Johns, who has written some great stuff in the past. Lately, it seems like his job at DC is to shoehorn crappy third rung heroes in to marketable quantities. “Brightest Day”, when broken down to it’s components, is essentially “Hey, Aquaman and Hawkman are kinda cool… right? Guys? Right?”. Might be a coincidence that Cyborg is the biggest hero in the Flashpoint universe, but I doubt it.

Oh, and I should note that while it seems weird that there’s no “Illustrating” heading here, it makes sense, as often there are multiple artists on board for events. Andy Kubert is penciling the main books for “Flashpoint” and “Fear Itself” will be drawn by Stuart Immonen, Wayne Von Grawbadger, and Laura Martin.

Edge: DC. “Flashpoint”. Johns knows how to structure a big story, has the Gl Corp/Sinestro Corp war under his belt, not to mention “Blackest Night”.

Most Recent Events:

Marvel’s event prior to this was “Siege”. DC had “Blackest Night”. Full disclosure here: Didn’t read Siege. Read Blackest Night. I’ve never been a big Avengers fan, and thus I didn’t pick up Siege, which doesn’t seem to have hurt me much thus far. It seemed to be received decently, with little praise or impact. (SPOILER) The Sentry died. No one cared. Worst Ret-con hero ever.

“Blackest Night” was a cavalcade of colours, shiny covers and new characters. It was a lot of build-up with an underwhelming climax. The prismatic concept was a logical one for the Green Lantern universe, and creates a big sandbox for the writers to play in. Oh, and we got Larfleeze out of the deal, and Dex-Starr, house cat of rage. On the down side, we got a lot of dead heroes back that were probably better left dead.

Edge: DC “Blackest Night” made a much bigger splash than “Siege”, and energized the Green Lantern franchise.

The Last Decade

The DC events in the last decade or so center around “Crisis”. Not that surprising, as “Crisis on Infinite Earths” was the defining moment eventwise in the DC Universe. We had Identity Crisis, which might have done itself a disservice with that title, as it wasn’t a universe wide event, but rather, a well controlled murder mystery. Then we moved on to Infinite Crisis, which started with a fairly interesting premise (heroes from another version of Earth look at our world, see how dark and violent our heroes have become, and decide to set things right. A fairly bold self-examination of DC about its titles in the 1990s. Then it gets all dumb, and people punch things into existence, and way too many plot lines start running amok. There was One Year Later, which gave DC the chance to focus on their not Batman Superman and Wonder Wman titles. After which we get Final Crisis. There simply aren’t words to describe the bizarre, impenetrable, weird amount of suck Final Crisis represents.

The next time you’re at your LCS (Local Comic Shop) and someone starts going off about how awesome Grant Morrison is, don’t say anything. Just nod your head in the direction of the Final Crisis trade, and watch as their eyes follow yours, and the realization on their face, as they shut the hell up, knowing they can no longer make a reasonable argument. (Actually, I think, like Straczynski, Morrison is one of the better “starting pitchers” in the comics world. Both of them tend to wear themselves out early, and for the love all things good, make sure you take them out before they mess things up forever. The owner of my LCS gets credit for the baseball metaphor).

On the Marvel side, we had The House of M, which shook up the X-Men world! (Of course, that happens every 3 to 4 months…) Then Civil War, an all out battle between heroes, marked mostly by strange leaps in characterization for plot purposes. There was Dark Reign, which let Norman Osborne loose on the Marvel universe, and World War Hulk, which was just plain fun. Marvel, it should be noted, did an excellent job of weaving their events together, and having the ramifications of one effect the next.

Edge: Marvel. Their Universe feels more fleshed out, and there seems to be some direction and continuity.

Best of the Best:

The era of the modern crossover began in the early eighties. Marvel’s “Secret Wars” was arguably the first event to bring in a large stable of heroes, have its effects felt in other books, and create lasting changes in the Universe. Right on its heels was DC “Crisis on Infinite Earths”, which upped the ante with character deaths and increased stakes for the characters. Since then, there have been countless events, big and small. Which ones were the best? I’m sure you’ll tell me in the comments section. For me, the best ones are the ones that stand out in your memory. They have weight, they have a story that is true to the rules it sets up, and leaves things differently than they found them. I’d probably go with Crisis on Infinite Earths as the best big crossover. It felt more real than Secret Wars, had more impact. (Note, I’ve just realized it looks like I’m simply choosing between CoIE and SW. I’m not.) Another personal favorite was Age of Apocalypse, the X-Men event that took place in an alternate world, brought familiar characters in unfamiliar versions of themselves, and even took the step of changing the titles for the duration of its run. It was a big, fun ride. I also like Identity Crisis, which, as I mentioned earlier, might not deserve to be part of this fight, but is easily the best written of anything I’ve talked about today.

Edge: DC. Crisis still takes the cake.

Worst of the Worst

When crossovers go bad, they go BAD! Both major companies have had their share of bad, but only one has elevated the bad crossover to epic proportions. Marvel has unleashed upon us a wave of bad crossover dreck. Infinity War. Secret Wars II. Atlantis Attacks. Heroes Reborn. Hell, we could write another entire article plumbing the depths of bad Marvel crossovers.

DC isn’t innocent here either. Invasion/Armageddon, Knightfall, No Man’s Land, and the aftermath of the Death of Superman. They seem to try and keep the really bad stuff confined to a character and their books. Is there a term for crossovers that play out inside a small number of books? If so, someone tell the X-Men writers, they have constant use for it.

Edge: Marvel. They seem to have recovered lately, but historically, they’re the kings.

So, final tally has DC up 3-2. Is that any indication that “Flashpoint” will be better than “Fear Itself”? Nope. My gut says it will, but only time will tell.

*** It occurs to me that lately I’ve become a bigger DC fan than a Marvel fan, which is weird and surprising to me. I grew up on Marvel, worshipped John Byrne and Chris Claremont. Didn’t read much DC at all until my 20s. I haven’t looked at my current pull list, but I suspect I’m buying roughly the same number of titles from both. For some reason, I seem to be more drawn to DC lately. Better writing? Less of the “27 titles for a popular character/group”? Not sure. I know I really like Hickman’s Fantastic Four right now, and Uncanny X-Force is a blast. I’ve enjoyed Batman and Robin, and Booster Gold (not so much lately…) and was loving Green Lantern, up until the end of Blackest Night, after which I think it has cratered in quality. I had high hopes for JMS’s Superman and Wonder Woman runs, both of which were disappointing. Anyhow, the point of this massive rambling note was to state outright that I’m not a “fanboy” for one company or the other. I’m a fanboy of good storytelling.

Here at The Correctness, we have access to all kinds of information that the common man is unable to access. Yes, ALL KINDS. We have spies, moles, quislings, carrier pigeons, and heavyset dudes with cameraphones parked out in strategic locations.

All of this so we can bring you breaking comic news as it happens. Today’s exclusive, the plotlines from Marvel comics for the year 2011. Read on, True Believer!

AVENGERS: With the recent reformation of the Avengers following Dark Reign, Marvel has introduced a number of books: Avengers, New Avengers, Secret Avengers, Avengers Academy, Pet Avengers.

NEW: This coming year, Marvel introduces Friends of Avengers, I was an Avenger, Working for the Avengers, Avengers Polling Well in the 18-25 Demo,Avengers: Miami, Avengers SVU, The Late Show with the Avengers, The Walking Avengers, Avengers II: Electric Boogaloo. (Note: Wolverine will be featured in ALL of these titles).

PLOTLINES: The Avengers will head in to action this year against such noted villains as Kang, Hydra, Kang, Red Skull, Kang, and Doctor Doom, who turns out to be Kang in disguise. Also, the team will be disbanded after they discover the new Captain America has been employing illegal immigrants. Later, they will reform into Gold and Blue strike teams (each featuring Wolverine), and a special “secret” team, led by Wolverine. After Chris Claremont complains, those teams will be brought together in an event book called RE-REASSEMBLED!, which will see the team combine into a giant fighting force of 68 members, all with the single goal of stopping Kang.

FANTASTIC FOUR: The Fantastic Four will lose a team member this year, in a storyline designed to shock the Marvel Universe to its very core.

NEW: No new titles to be added, as the “Rebirth” of the FF will be saved until after the Avengers have worn out their welcome.

PLOTLINES: After the tragic death of Sue Storm Richards, the Team is in the verge of being torn apart with guilt and accusation. At the behest of Valeria, Logan comes to the team and through lengthy discussion, unites them as one, and agrees to stay on permanently. Ben Grimm will also be cured, allowing him to revert to human form. For 3 issues. Then, it’s back to rocky for him.

X-MEN: The X-men are attempting to recover from the aftermath of Second Coming, which brought the end of Cable, and the restoration of mutants on earth through the “trigger” power of Hope.

NEW: Only 5 new titles in the X-Universe this year. Logan’s X-Universe, Deadpool: “I’m the Lobo of the Oughts”, Deadpool: “How is No One Sick of Me Yet?”, Wolverine: Dark Pants, and X-ercise.

PLOTLINES: The X-men struggle trying to gain acceptance in a world that doesn’t want them, regardless of how many times they stop the destruction of the planet. Magneto is affected by an EMP pulse, and becomes evil once again, until he knocked on the head by a falling tree, which allows him to regain his gentle side and join the X-Men once again. Also, Mr. Sinister is attacked by the Sentinals, which causes him to shift allegiance, and join the X-Men. While squaring off against the remnants of the Hellfire Club, a sudden change of heart leaves the X-Men scrambling to find enough bedrooms on Utopia.

THE REST

Titles like Spider-Man, Daredevil, Iron Man, etc will also be seeing some changes this coming year.

Spider-Man will permanently become partners with Wolverine, solving mysteries from a small detective agency. A lot of the “heat” will come from the will-they-or-won’t-they aspect.

Daredevil is moving in a new direction, with the title character in charge of the Hand. He will begin franchising out, with at least 6 different teams (all of which include Logan).

Iron Man will move in a radical new direction, as Tony Stark will be killed off, and replaced with a mysterious Canadian character, who will redesign the gauntlets to allow for a certain natural feature.

That’s all the news we have from Marvel, though we’re hoping to hear back from our inside man at DC, who teased us with the following: “Hey guys, big news from DC, can’t say too much yet, but check this: 10 new titles, all written by a certain fellow with the intials G.J.”

See you Soon!

Us: Hey you know what this site needs?

Peanut Gallery: Better writers?

Us: Bite Us!

No no, what this site needs is more impotent nerd rage. No one has insulted Robbierobtown for his non opinions on Green Lantern in so long he’s calling 1-900 numbers and asking THEM to call him an encephalitic cum eating intern.

That is not right people.

That’s why, sometime this week, The Correctness is going to sit down, eat for more food than is healthy for men of our advancing age group and talk about yet another Smackdown. As much as we’d all like to invite you out for said lunch, we know the scheduling would be a nightmare. We can’t even schedule a dinner with someone who won a contest, much less all 12 of you who regularly read the site. So instead, we offer you this spot to make your opinions known, what kind of a Smackdown would you like to see next? Here are a few suggestions that are already on the table.

Movie Action Hero Smackdown (Indy versus James Bond, that kind of thing)

Mega Power Smackdown (Thanos, Galactus, and that large headed crowd)

Loser Smackdown (A best of the worst, who is the least lame of the world’s lamest superheroes)

Ladies on Ladies Smackdown (All female superheroes. This may or may not involve spontaneous lesbianism. But knowing Rob, the chances are pretty good.)

The Same/Same Smackdown (Similar powered heroes from different universes, Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye, Quicksilver Vs. Flash, that kind of thing)

If you have any suggestions, go right ahead and lay em on us. Also, if you could say something nasty to Rob, he’d appreciate it.

Superhero Smackdown!
Friday Night Fight!

Here at The Correctness SportsishNetwerkkz, we offer our be-all-end-all absolutely correct answers on which superheroes would win in a fight. Marvel? DC? Watchmen as distributed by DC? Spongebob Squarepants? We’re in the second of four quarterfinal matches to determine the winner! The playoffs continue this week in the Pengrowth Deathdrome. Our thirst for blood is growing like a daisy that grows on blood.





(Ed’s note: there is a lot of clarification in our article this week, due to high volumes of being called cum-eaters”)

Spider-Man versus The Flash

Dave

By this point in the smackdown, (this is the 10th week, if you’re keeping track), I’ve basically resigned myself to being called any number of things, regardless of whom I choose.

I thought I’d take a minute or two to clear up some misconceptions that many of you seem to have regarding the Smackdowns…

1) There is no pre-determined winner. Each of us write our piece separately, and then we post them together. One of us adds in the header and footer and some pictures, and declares the winner based on the majority. In fact, we don’t always agree on the winner.

2) We haven’t decided the ultimate winner of the bracket in advance (see 1 above, which would make that difficult).

3) The bracket was determined long before the Fark greenlights started happening, and long before anyone took a serious interest in the final outcome. So yes, we understand that the bracket could be better, but we can’t (apart from having substituted some players) very well change that now.

4) We don’t get paid for this. Apart from remuneration from ads, which I can assure you is fairly minimal, The Correctness is a labour of love, sucking up our time, energy, and cash (which mostly goes to pay for bandwidth used by people who call us morons). We’re thinking of instituting a pay-for-insult scheme, whereby the most acerbic of you can pay us a small fee to call us anything you wish. We’ll be rich!

5) Our opinions are just that. We claim to be comic book lovers, not experts. Tony reads the books he likes, I read the ones I like, Rob likes shiny objects.

6) There is no DC/Marvel bias that I know of. I grew up mostly Marvel, but in the last few years, Marvel has sucked a huge amount of ass, and I’ve found myself catching up on a lot of DC titles. Really Marvel? 47 Avengers titles? Ultimates? Civil War? Zombies? Apes? The only thing you’ve done that piques my interest lately is bring back Clairmont to write “X-Men Forever”, and even that’s been pretty bland. The Grant Morrison “Batman and Robin” alone, in it’s first 4 issues, is better than anything you guys did this decade.

7) It was Rob’s idea to add Kitty Pryde to the bracket, and as a laugh have her win the whole thing. This idea was quickly dismissed, apart from leaving her in the bracket.

8 ) We added the 2 days of preparation bit after hearing from readers that they wanted more setup. This happened at the beginning of the Quarterfinals. It gives the prep guys a bit of time to get ready, but not enough to build insane things and such. It’s a compromise that gives the thinkers a bit of a chance, but not enough to totally control things. It’s every bit as valid as a “chance meeting” setup.

whew… Okay ,so Spidey vs the Flash….

The only thing Spidey has going for him in this fight is his spidey sense. He gets a warning that someone or something is about to attack him. His amazing agility and speed allow him to react to this data very very quickly.

But The Flash can make about 35 of these attacks while Spidey is still dodging the first. The sad part about this is that it’s likely Barry Allen as the Flash, whom I find tedious at best. I’m not exactly sure why he’s being “Reborn”, as Wally West is about 346 times more interesting as a character. But Geoff Johns has his reasons, and most things he writes are really well done, so I’ll go with it for a while.

You’re probably asking yourself why i’m digressing with talk about rules and Barry Allen’s return, but rest assured it’s because this particular fight has been over since I typed the word “By”.

Winner: The Flash

Rob:

Well, this week, I have done some research. I pulled my Note-Tote binder of first series Marvel cards off the shelf, and I can give you some very current stats.

As of 1990, Spider-Man, who wears a black costume with a white spider on it,  stands 5’10″, weighs 165 pounds (seems a tad light to me) and has fought in 982 battles. He has had 620 wins, 328 losses, and 34 ties.  His black costume is totally innocuous and not at all an alien symbiote (check the timeline of this joke for bonus points).

These Marvel cards were released before series 2, in which Marvel made the fucktarded mistake of assigning a “power” and “strength” rating to all of their heroes and villains.  At least the DC universe had some ambiguity, and Marvel did too, at one point. Just how super strong was Spider-man? Could he beat the Hulk? Eventually, Marvel sucked all the fun out of it.

The Flash, obviously, is not in the Marvel universe, and is certainly not in one of my complete set of limited edition holograms.

Spider-Man got his powers from being bitten by a radioactive lantern, while the Flash got his powers from being bitten by a radioactive lantern, just like the Green Lantern.

Things I do not recall: I do not recall singing along to the Scarlet Speedster’s theme song. I do not recall seeing awesome Flash-based movies (except for a flawed hypothetical third film). I do not recall reading Flash comics. I do not recall owning Flash action figures. I do not recall desperately hoping a real-live girl would come over to my tree-fort, which I furnished with the finest garage sale back-issues of the Flash.

Standing by my previous comments, because the Flash can move crazy fast, faster perhaps than spider-sense, and he can, according to the intertubes, become incorporeal (just like my hero, Kitty Pryde),  and going entirely against every tender fibre of my childhood, my whole belief system, and my sense of faith in the Universe, I’m giving this one to the Flash.

Once again, The Flash just speeds up, drops a brick off inside of Spidey’s head whilst incorporeal, and it’s over. The classic brick-left-inside-yer-head gambit.

Winner: The Flash

Loser: My Childhood

Tony

SPIDEY: That’s a weird coincidence… I knew a guy named Flash once. He was kind of di-(Flash of scarlet) OW!!!

Well, that’s about all he’d get out. There have been several complaints about how DC universe keeps beating the pants off of Marvel universe characters, at least in our estimation. This boils down to the DC Universe being generally overpowered. Even the unpowered Batman is given such iconic status that writers find a way for him to beat even the most super powered foes (Guilty!) I love Marvel characters. There’s more Marvel on my office shelf than DC, by virtue of the fact that being somewhat more vulnerable makes for interesting characters. We aren’t debating quality here, we are working with what we know about the characters, and what I know about the Flash is, he will fuck you up before you have time to even spin a web of any size.

Allow me to justify myself a tad before you go throwing what we at the Correctness refer to as “The Green Lantern incident” at me. There were three things saving Spidey when he beat Green Lantern

1.We generally go with the classic silver age heroes we all grew up with, which meant the yellow issue was still very much in play. 2. Spider sense which allowed Spidey to react precious seconds before Hal, and most importantly 3. Hal’s enormous power came from something that could be taken off of him, and if anyone could find a way to do that, it was Spidey.

But he can’t stop the Flash from being the Flash. Sticky tar on the ground? He’d vibrate his way out of it.. Web trap? Spotted it, avoided it, speed read “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” blogged about it being over rated, and still landed a rabbit punch on ol web head before he finished his first overlong thought balloon.

Here’s a question, Can Spider-man stay up and out of the way and wait for Flash to wear himself out? After all, Parker is super strong and if he does manage to land one, it could be good night Irene. (See what I did there?) Well I think with enough speed, Flash can run up walls. So no, even heights won’t help him. And God help Peter if he DOES manage to stick a web on Barry, because I can’t imagine being dragged at the speed of light is fun.

Sorry Spider-Man. The Flash has got you beat.

Winner: The Flash

P.S. Do your worst, commenters, by the time you read this, I will be in Paris, nibbling on baguettes, and occasionally my wife’s earlobe. Eat it, bitches!

Decision: The Flash

So The Flash moves on to the Semi-Finals, taking on The Batman, while the other side of the Bracket is yet to be decided. Tune in next week for Shadowcat vs Wolverine. The part where you tell us how wrong we are is below!

Superhero Smackdown!
Friday Night Fight!
Here at The Correctness SportsishNetwerkkz, we offer our be-all-end-all absolutely correct answers on which superheroes would win in a fight. Marvel? DC? Watchmen as distributed by DC? Spongebob Squarepants? It’s a 16 superhero smackdown to find one final winner! The playoffs continue this week in the Pengrowth Deathdrome

Green Lantern vs. Spider-Man

Rob: Well, I’m going to weigh in here ignorant. I never read the Green Lantern, and I used to be a total Marvel guy- except that I didn’t realy “get” the X-men, so, when I say “Marvel Guy” I mean “Spider-Man”. Spidey has a lot going for him. His spider sense warns him of imminent danger, and he can stick to stuff. Lest we forget, that he can swing from webs, any size, and he catches theives, just like flies. In fact, in the chill of night, at the scene of the crime, like a streak of light, he arrives just in time.  How many times have you said to yourself- “Man, that streak of light arrived just in time, fast things are very much like streaks of light, for all fast things are timely.”? Lots of times, probably.

Second of all, willpower isn’t much of a power. I mean, Hal Jordan, Susan Powter, you guys tell me the difference. One can make green hammers with his ring, and the other is a motivational fitness expert from the early nineties. Same same.

Maybe I’m being unfair on the Green Lantern because I don’t get how anyone who gets bitten by a radioactive lantern could become a superhero. I mean, that has to be the shittiest origin story ever told, and I remind you that I wrote and created the “Human Man” show, so, I know a thing or two about shitty origin stories. Nonetheless, if I had to be bitten by something radioactive, it would be a spider, or a fuckin’ shark, but not a green lantern, that’s totally retarded.

While I’m on the subject, i would love to be bitten by a radioactive shark, that would be the fucking coolest. It’s a fucking shark, people, a radioactive underwater death merchant with no fear. It’s like Daredevil, only good, and not stupid and totally hopeless in a fight against The Flash. Then, as Shark man, I would wreak havoc on the denizens of port cities, and I would eat the fuck out of Aquaman. Oh, and I don’t want Alan Moore anywhere near the writing, I want to be a purposeless killing machine, not a nuanced child abuse victim.

Anyways, Spidey takes this fight, no sweat.

Dave: Well, Rob should clearly be reading more comics, as he hasn’t discovered that Marvel has been terrible for about a decade now. But, I digress.

On the surface, this would seem to be an unfair match, with Green Lantern wielding the power of the central battery on OA. Hal Jordan was able to overcome death, as well as being the spirit of vengeance, and return to our world. He can create anything his mind can conceive, though apparently his mind only thinks of stuff that is green.

On the Con side: In All Star Batman and Robin, Hal Jordan was almost killed by a combination of a can of paint and a 12 year old. Also, Green Lantern depends on a rechargeable ring for his power, and as anyone who owns anything that needs charging will testify, they have a habit of crapping out on you when you need them both.

Spider-Man has many things going for him in this fight. He has Spidey-Sense, which warns him of impending danger, and allows him to react, and escape from danger. Add to this the whole strength and agility part, and he’s pretty freaking deadly. He tends to hold back in combat, and is capable of going toe-to-toe with the Hulk. With his quick wits and ability to adapt and outlast his opponents, he could easily keep Green Lantern occupied long enough to exhaust his power ring, while cracking wise the entire time.

So, while this fight is much closer than last weeks battle, I would give this fight to the Spectacular Spider-Man.

Tony: It comes down to the following questions:

1. Is Spidey smart enough to go get himself  a yellow suit?

2.Is he capable of getting the ring off of Hal?

3. Did Spider-man 3 suck ass, or what?

The answer to all three questions is yes. But this is no walk over. The Green Lanterns most devastating attack  has always been the power of green vagueness.  Which, for comic book writers, means he’s capable of just about anything, up to and including hitting on Superman at the JLA Christmas party. However, whatever Hal throws at him, Spidey knows it’s coming before it happens and gets out of the way. Eventually Spidey will realize , through a series of thought balloons that go on for far too long, that he needs to separate man from ring,and after some difficulty will probably manage to do so.

SPIDEY: Got to get that ring off of him….

GL: Keep still, you little fuck!

(One complicated plan involving the color yellow, some webbing and a distraction later)

GL: Gimme my ring back!!!

SPIDEY: Not until you teach me to harness it’s power to erase Spider-Man 3 from existence

GL: Fair enough

Definitely a win in the Spidey column

The winner, once again by unanimous decision…Spider-Man!

That’s one for DC, one for Marvel for those keeping count. We are adjusting our brackets slightly, but there should be some swell visuals to follow this  some tome today. In the meantime feel free to disagree, in a cordial fashion below. Or just ready your arguments for next week, as the Man of Iron faces the Man of Steel! Supes takes on Iron Man right here next week, so stay tuned.