Alright, you heathens,  you keep insisting on asking us about our romantic affiliation with Jesus.  The volume of mail about us and Jesus is overwhelming.  Every day, you people, with your questions about Jesus, and who kissed who first. Well, there is nothing going on between us and Jesus, but we’d surely like a crack at hitting that.

How Hard We’d Hit Jesus:

I’d hit that so hard it would take Jesus an extra day to come back at Easter.

I’d hit Jesus so hard they’d have to give out Cheerios instead of communion wafers.

I’d hit that so hard Mary Madgdelene would give out refunds.

I’d hit that so hard I’d rise again 20 minutes later.

I’d hit Jesus so hard the cross would be limp.

I’d hit that so hard I’d baptize the whole crowd at the sermon on the mount.

I’d hit that so hard, the “H” in Jesus “H” Christ would stand for “How the Hell did you Hit that so Hard?”.

I’d hit that so hard people would argue over whether Jesus was black AND BLUE.

I’d hit that so hard he’d smell like loves and fishes.

I’d hit that so hard it that holy trinity would be the Father, Son and Holy Fuck!

I’d hit that so hard, Jesus would walk on water…-based lube.

I’d hit that so hard that someone would write the “Gospel of Peter”

I’d hit that so hard the conception would be regular macculate.