H1 – Flames 2
(ED: Normally, The Correctness avoids direct commentary on matters of a political nature, as we feel our audience understands that most politicians are dummies, but in this case we couldn’t resist.)
According to the media, The Calgary Flames players,staff, and families were able to arrange a private clinic to receive H1N1 vaccinations, while the unwashed masses had to line up, and are now waiting for clinics to re-open. We might be able to understand this if they had a bunch of appointments to show off the Stanley Cup, but that hasn’t been a problem for 2 decades.
Hooray! We’re Immune!
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The Correctness Archives 1910 – Hand Washing is Government Propoganda
(ED: Today’s article comes from our vast archives. This originally appeared in the July 1910 issue of The Correctness.)
The Correctness is concerned about health issues, as we all are. With all this talk about Hand Washing, we’ve decided to get to the bottom of the issue, to help you avoid any confusion.
CLAIM: Hand Washing can kill germs that make us sick.
We’re not ones to hop on a band-wagon, but there seems to be some validity to this. Earlier this year, Dr. Josephine Baker began program in New York City to educate child care workers about hygiene issues like hand washing. Opponents to her program are claiming that such measures are reducing the need for doctors and health care, and that such a thing will cause a lack of illnesses.
We decided to speak to many of these indidivuals, to hear their complaints. Here is what they had to say:
Things that won’t help with the H1N1 Virus
The Correctness has seen a lot of stupid things in its day, but few more stupid than the recent spate of “alternative remedies” which purport to make you immune to H1N1. Things like “wash your hands”,”gargle with salt water”, and “drink oil of oregano”. Washing your wands is a great practice, and gargling with salt water makes your throat feel nice, they won’t increase your body’s immunity to an airborne virus. Many people are claiming that the H1N1 vaccine is “untested and rushed”. We’re assuming that these same people can point us to the Lanset Journal article on the double-blind study on the efficacy of Oil of Oregano. Well, we’re waiting…
In light of this, here are some other things that won’t raise your immunity level.
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Public Health Emergency Advice
The Correctness received this impassioned plea for wisdom a few days after the close of our contest, but we felt it warranted special attention, due to the serious public health concerns:
Dear Correctness,
Could you please help me and my friend with a problem we are having. As residents of South East Asia, it has come to our attention that many people are afraid of contracting H1N1. This in itself is annoying, as the current strain of the virus appears to be as terrifying as dermatitis, and quite a lot less irritating.