(Note: This is a repost of the original).

So now that the power lanterns of the DC Universe has opened up to various other colors and various other states of being, the it would be remiss of the Correctness not to mention a few other Lanterns that you could see appearing soon!

You are welcome.

Pink Lantern: Utilizes the power of nausea heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea. The latter being a cross over with the Brown Lantern. On the plus side, the Pink Lantern is a shining symbol for breast cancer awareness.

Beige Lantern: Harnesses the power of mediocrity. Likes: Nickleback, Sandra Bullock Movies,Everybody Loves Raymond, and Three and a Half Men. Dislikes: Being mistaken for the Khaki Lantern

Grey Lantern: Retired. Uses his power ring to get kids off his lawn. Very excited that Jay Leno will be back, and that his son Patrick got life insurance.

White Lantern: Thinks there are too many other colored Lanterns getting into the country and getting jobs while his cousin the Off-White Lantern is still on a waiting list. Uses his ring to exert dominance and get paid more than any of the other Lanterns. Weaknesses: he can neither jump nor dance.

Purple Lantern: Powered by the Color Purple. The movie, not the actual color. Got his ring passed down to him by the alien known as Prince after Under The Cherry Moon crash landed on Earth. Uses the ring to give the deadliest nurples known to mankind.

And remember kids, using your Black Lantern ring to make your velvet poster look way cool is dangerous as it may revive and zombify any beloved pets buried in the back yard.

NO!! TIMMY!! WAIT COME BACK!! DIDN’T YOU READ PET SEMETARY?! NO DON’T DO…oh God.

Evidently, today is the release date of issue #2 of Blackest Night. It’s a Green Lantern comic that posits the idea that there are several color spectrum “Lanterns” each representing a different emotion or state of being, like some rainbow colored improv game. Green=Will Power, Yellow = Fear, Red=Anger, Orange =Avarice , Blue = Hope , Black =Death and Violet = Love. The Correctness feels the following exchange is inevitable in an upcoming issue.

(All the Lanterns gather around a table. In the centre is a delicious Crave Cupcake)

GREEN LANTERN: I’ll pass on that, I’ve had too many sweets today.

VIOLET LANTERN: Oooooh I LOVE Cupcakes

ORANGE LANTERN: No! It’s MINE! It’s mine and I’m not sharing. In fact, every single cupcake in the whole universe is mine!!!

BLUE LANTERN: Maybe they’ll all fight to the death, then the cupcake would be mine!

YELLOW LANTERN: Do you know how many calories are in that thing? The icing alone is twice your allotted fat per day count. You’ll end up fat and alone in sweatpants..then RICHARD SIMMONS will come to your house…man that many calories….

BLACK LANTERN: Will kill you.

RED LANTERN: FUCK YOU! !!!!!I’LL EAT WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!!!

Great.

Now the Correctness wants cupcakes.