10. Ozzy Osbourne Peppermint Bark at the Moon

9. Susan Boyle- Yule Forget Who I am this Time Next Year

8. Kanye West Imma Let You Finish…Decorating The Tree

7. R Kelly - Golden Streams of Christmas Joy

6. Amy Winehouse- Christmas Crackwhores (Say it fast)

5. Judas Priest Screamin for Presents

4.Beatles-The Red and White Album

3.Tragically Hip – Christmas Day for Silent Night

2. Iron Maiden - I Saw Eddie Killing Santa Claus

1. Nickleback- All We Want for Christmas is Talent

I think cover art is the one single thing I miss most about albums. Nowadays, even if you do get a CD it’s just as likely to be a picture of the artist looking hot/cool/tough etc. When you were first getting into music, don’t you remember pouring over album covers, studying every nuance? Trying to see if it tied in with the album in some thematic way?

So with that in mind here are of 10 Album covers I remember loving as a pre-teen non female touching nerd.

#10 News of the World – Queen

I was hypnotized by that strangely soulful looking robot and the destruction he caused. What did he do to Freddy? Whatever it was it was with his finger evidently. Freddy got Fingered.

#9 Out of the Blue – ELO

Sorry Boston, there’s only room for 1 spaceship on this list and this one is it. Sure it looks like a “Simon” game, but so what… it’s awesome. I think “Mr. Blue Sky” is on this album too, which ups the awesomeness.

#8) Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd

Simple, classic iconic. Elaborate isn’t always best. (See also, the White album to argue that point)

#7) Killers – Iron Maiden

Eddie…Killing motherfuckers dead since 1979. Most Maiden Album art is awesome, but this one is easily their best

#6 Toys in The Attic – Aerosmith

I like a little “What the Fuck” in my album covers don’t you? I can’t imagine looking at this thing stoned. “Jesus…what is WRONG with that FUCKING BEAR?”

#5 Who’s Next – The Who

There is something ever so Who-like, I think you will agree, about the Boys pissing on something big , ugly and industrial

#4 Kiss Alive

This about sums up the band, and their appeal in one magnificent two ton ball of Gouda. It’s a testament to this cover that when listening to a Kiss song, I always picture them doing the song live, regardless of what the song is about.

#3 Abbey Road – The Beatles

I liked this album cover so much I bought a coffee mug with it on it. It succumbed to a dark fate. but my love of this iconic cover did not.

#2 Led Zeppelin IV – Led Zeppelin

This is also the cover art that gave us the 4 symbols. It was a tough one for Zep, but this is my choice of all their covers (Although Physical Graffiti is also awesome)

And #1

Has to be…

#1) Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles

The “Citizen Kane” of Rock music strikes again. Look at the color…the detail, the weird significant but not significant nods to various friends and influences. Any cover that is sooooo analyzed that stoners talked themselves into thinking one of the Band members was dead has to be #1 on the list.

a poem by TBinns

My Beatles mug

Abbey Road

John, Paul, George and Ringo

Why did you cross the road?

To bring me a warm beverage

Where are you?

Did she come in through the bathroom window

and steal you?

Oh Darling

Someone has found you

In the sink of the office kitchen

Broken in two

Like my heart.

Broken, smashed

By Maxwell’s silver hammer

Never again to

Come Together.

He threw you away

And now

I’m going to carry that weight

I’ll carry that weight a long time.

Dear Joe Jackson

If you have indeed seen gorillas walking with pretty women down your street perhaps you should be less concerned about who your ex is dating and more concerned about calling the Animal Control people.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Guy in Detroit Rock City,

To answer your last (final?) question about why your are going to die, it has to do with a fatal combination of speed, your self confessed inability to turn in time, the gigantic truck bearing down on you and some rather elementary physics. If you have any further questions…oh. Too late, never mind.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Beatles

I feel it would be remiss of me not to point out that there are, in fact only 7 days in a week. Perhaps in future you should not put Ringo in charge of the calendar. Or scheduling.

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear Sympathy for the Devil Guy.

I give up. I have no idea what your name is. Perhaps if you stopped hooting and dropping oblique hints and just told me , (Or perhaps worn a nametag?) our conversation might have gone a lot smoother.

P.S. Why were you out jogging with David Lee Roth?

Sincerely,

TBinns

Dear War,

After an informal poll with many of my friends, I have found that pretty much none of them know the low rider. Perhaps you could give the low rider a Facebook page to improve it’s profile.

Sincerely,

Tbinns

Dear Glass Tiger,

Please accept my apologies, as I totally forgot you when you were gone. Practically the very minute you left. And I must confess some part of me was relieved.

Sincerely,

Tbinns

Dear Beyonce,

YOUR left or MY Left? Stage Left? please clarify.

Sincerely,

TBinns