As part of our continuing service to you, The Correct, we continually find things for you to be in favour of. In our crazy, fast paced, webmanic society, it’s easy to miss something. Our “A Case For” series presents something (a TV show, film, Book, Band etc) that might deserve a look.

Our first installment “A Case For: Farscape” was presented by one of our regular readers, and we encourage that sort of behaviour. If you have something you’d like to make a case for, write it up and send it to us at admin@thecorrectness.com . See the end of the article for more info.

Now, on to this installment.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I submit to you that Babylon 5 was one of, if not THE, greatest science fiction shows of our time. Now, I know you’re thinking “Didn’t you write a list of 35 reasons Babylon 5 rules?” Yes. Well, sort of. But this time, i’m all serious and junk.

Many of you missed B5 when it originally ran. This is understandable. It was a syndicated show, and ran at strange times. It also had a strange episode order, running say, episodes 1,2,3,4 then, instead of random repeats, it would show 1,2,3,4 again, then move on to 5,6,7,8 etc. Also, you may have been turned off by the low budgetness of the first season. Again, understandable, and as we will see later, justified.

I will now explain why your lack of B5 is actually holding you back as an individual, and as a nerd in general…

The generalities:

B5 takes place in the years 2257-2262. Each season covers roughly a year, in some shape or form. The show is set on a space station, 5 miles long, in neutral space. It’s run by Earth, but acts as a diplomatic meeting place (a U.N., if you will) for a number of races in the galaxy. Humans are known as the diplomats of the galaxy, and have dealings with a number of races. Of these, the most important are

The Minbari: a race of enlightened, bald beings with protruding bone structures around the sides of their heads. The Minbari fought the humans in past, after a disasterous first contact, which almost led to the destruction of the human race. Only one battle was ever won by Earth forces, when Cmd. Sheridan was able to destroy a single Minbari vessel. The Minbari ruthlessly ripped through the Earth forces. At the 11th hour, as they closed on Earth, the Minbari suddenly, and without reason, unconditionally surrendered.

The Centauri: A very old race, apparently in the decline of their power. There are many connections to the Roman Empire, and they take ceremony and appearance very seriously. They see some value in relations with Earth, and have agreed to engage in diplomacy.

The Narn: A warrior race, snakelike in appearance. They have been at odds with the Centauri, and the two will take any chance to renew hostilities.

The Vorlons: A mysterious race of beings of awesome power. Vorlons are mysterious and keep their council to themselves. They are rarely seen outside of their Encounter Suits, though rumor has it they are known to all the races in one form or another.

1. Story Arc

The first reason you should watch this show is that it has arguably the best story arc of any show I can think of. Writer/Creator J. Michael Stracyznski plotted out the entire 5 year arc, and developed background for all the characters, races, and the universe itself. Very few things are left to chance, there isn’t a lot of ret-conning, and it all ties up nicely in the end.

Too often these days we have shows start out with a lot of promise, only to see it collapse under its own weight (cough Battlestar Galactica cough). If anything, B5 is the opposite. It’s first season is it’s weakest, hands down. The stiffness of it’s lead character (Michael O’Hare as Sinclair), some fairly awful “monster of the week episodes”, and a general attempt for the show to find its footing make for some trying moments. From season 2 through 4, it’s gold. Themes are introduced, hinted at, referenced, and then brought back with great impact.
Notable evidence: The fate of Babylon 4, Valen, A political assassination, “I will not be there for you…”

2. Things That Happen Matter

One of the things I LOVE about this show is that it has consequences. Now, I’m going to spend a bit of time in this article ripping on Star Trek, but know that I don’t really hate Trek. I’ve seen every episode of TOS, TNG, DS9. I suffered through a few seasons of Enterprise, and even watched Voyager, hoping it would get better.

The big difference between Star Trek and B5 is that n the B5 universe, when something happens, it matters. There is no reset button, no time loops… errr. ok, thereis one of those, but it’s on an entirely different level of awesome. Basically, people die, things change, nothing gets put back to normal at the end of an hour. Decisions and consequences play a huge role in B5. When a character decides to use that Ace in the Hole, it’s gone, and using it might mean disaster for that person down the line. And man, do things matter…
Notable evidence: Kosh, Going to Z’ha’dum, A fairly big decision made in season 3 regarding a political situation on Earth that I don’t want to spoil here.

3. The Mythology

Tricky to expand of without giving things away, but there is a lot of importance to most of the characters and their actions in the series. Star Trek introduced a race of Empaths, and dabbled a bit into their background and structure. B5 gives us telepaths, and not only explains how they go about their business, but invents a regulatory body to watch them. Then he explains in depth how that body works, gives us a great villain within them (Walter Koenig) and then continues on to make them very important in the scheme of things. We have the Vorlons, creatures of mystery and power, who are more involved in our world than we know, and their backstory becomes the focus of major events. On B5, even simple questions like “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” become meaningful. We don’t just imagine what the rules of the world look and act like, we see them. We get a good understanding of why and how they act.

Oh, and if I haven’t won you over yet, the whole thing is loaded with Lord of the Rings influences, from the elf like Minbari to the planet Z’ha’dum. Hell, the major enemy is called the “Shadows”, you know, like those things that lie in Morden (oops, I mean Mordor).

Notable evidence: The appearance of a certain “Inquisitor”, Valen, The Rangers, The First Ones.

4. The Ships

The ships on B5 are extremely well thought out. Each race is distinct from one another, the designs say something about that race, and they just look great. From the Narn’s wedge-like dagger ships, to the Minbari’s sleek curved vessels, to the living squid thingies the Vorlons use, they’re all great.

B5 itself is an O’Neill Cylinder, with a rotating section that allows for artificial gravity. The Earth Starfury design (loosely based on the Gunship from Last Starfigher) was so well thought out that NASA approached JMS for permission to develop a work vehicle based on the Starfury for the ISS.
Notable Evidence: Starfury, Shadow vessels, The Agamemnon, The White Star.

5. The Characters

In the B5 universe, characters are important. They grow, and change. Their decisions mean something, and their choices influence events. Even the assistants to the Ambassadors matter, they change and grow and have impact on things. Part of the problem of a multi-year arc planned in advance is the reliance on the actors. If one of them decides to leave, it changes things. JMS added a “trap door” to his characters, a way to remove them and have the story continue without them if needed. In fact, this happened on more than one occasion. I’d wager the introduction of a second Captain (Bruce Boxleitner) altered things a fair bit. Can’t say more without spoiling, but that was a big one.

The strongest performances in the show belong to Peter Jurrasik as Londo Molari and Andreas Katsulas as G’Kar, and their progress through the story is miles beyond what other sci-fi shows pass off as character growth.
Notable Evidence: Lyta Alexander’s story, Vir’s “smile and wave”, Bill Mumy’s Lennier

In closing, B5 gives you more of everything that a sci-fi fan could hope for. It’s grand, sweeping, touching, important, and well made. If you’ve avoided watching because it wasn’t on a network, or because you thought it was competition to your precious DS9, give it a shot. Besides, DS9 was pretty much built from JMS’s show bible for B5, so you’d probably like it. You know those REALLY good shows, where you remember a particular season because it was so good. This is one of those.

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If you have a show or film or book or band you’d like to make a case for, we’d love to hear from you. Read the rules below, and drop us a line.

The rules:

1) Give us 5 good reasons we should care, or watch, or listen etc. Make them compelling. Remember, you’re trying to sell this to us, and our readers.
2) Send pictures along with the article. Admin_rock doesn’t like to work harder than he has to, so be sure to send pics, or links to pics in the article.

Check out the previous installment(s) to see how it’s done.

A Case For Farscape

admin_rock here, with a special Correctness article. A while back, we posted an article: 35 reasons to watch Babylon 5. And it is. No question. The comments thread was fun filled and interesting, and one of our regular readers “Keith”, mentioned the following:

“I share the love of the last of the Babylon stations.

My biggest and geekiest pop culture project was completed last month – I viewed/read every canonical B5 thing in chronological order. 113 episodes, 7 movies, 11 books, 6 short stories, 11 comics, 3 unshot episode scripts.

I have yet to find a publisher for the annotated viewing notes.”

This intrigued us (well, me) and Keith was kind enough to send us an excerpt, which we now provide for your reading pleasure.

Every year on summer vacation I watch a long run of a TV series, usually something I haven’t ever watched and am finally diving into. 2008 was Lost, 2009 was Heroes. I was trying to decide what to tackle in the summer of 2010 when I thought of what can only be called a mega-fest, all the parts of which were sitting on my shelves already.

123 episodes. 7 movies. 11 novels, 11 comic books, 6 short stories and 3 unshot episode scripts. The entire canon of Babylon 5.

As I always say, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth over-doing. The project was grand and much more involved than I expected. My sheet of notes was written over a dozen times. Often I would reach the end of a episode and realize it should have been later or earlier than I had it placed.

It is, most assuredly and apologetically, the geekiest thing I have ever done. But hopefully it will be discovered by at least one other person who will find it useful. If one person does make use, then my response to detractors is a simple “fuck you, who did you help today?”

My thanks to The Lurker’s Guide website and to I. Marc Carlson who wrote a fairly accurate chronology which is also available online.

The entire idea seemed crazy, but even crazier was that as I wrote corrections and notes on my sheets I kept thinking “this will be much smoother next time.”

“You put more effort into your leisure than most people do into their work. That’s impressive. And a little disturbing.” – B.J. Allan

Notes:
- Bold numbers are episode numbers. As production numbers, airing order and episode guides can vary, I have used the episode numbers from the dvd boxed sets.

-Most novels cover several months or years and have been placed in the most logical order.

-When the novels duplicate events in filmed material (especially the Technomage Trilogy), the filmed version is placed first.

-There are two “in-universe” books that I have not included but which fit prior to 501. “The Babylon 5 Security Manual,” Garabaldi’s guide for new security officers, and “Dining on Babylon 5,” a cookbook published in the UK that was used on-screen in 504. I’ve never read the cookbook and it is long out of print. Anyone looking to get me a $100+ present should check eBay.

_______________________________________________

Psi-Corps vol 1 (novel)

In the Beginning – The prequel TV movie takes place prior to everything in the series. However, much of the mystery of the early seasons is lost if viewed in this order. An alternate order is to instead place it based on the Emperor Londo bridging sequences (Londo is telling the story to children in the palace). This would place it immediately after page 212 of Centauri vol 3.

Psi-Corps vol 2 (novel)

The Shadow Within (novel) – Only two of the original nine novels are generally considered canon. JMS has referred to this novel as “90% canon.” The Shadow Within ties into the Technomage Trilogy, also by the same author, and gives great insight into the characters of Anna Sheridan and Mr. Morden.

The Gathering

101-122

Technomage vol 1 (novel)

201-202

Comic # 1-4 – The 14 comic books produced are considered canon but are not a perfect fit into the chronology of the series. The placement is the best I could find to keep the story arc of the episodes flowing. This story arc is referenced in passing in To Dream in the City of Sorrows.

Technomage vol 2 January 2259 (novel) – The Technomage books are separated into parts by month which makes it simple to read them as they fit into the episodes. Vol 2 wraps around 203 and explains why the Technomages are on B5.

203

Technomage vol 2 February 2259 (novel)

204-206

Comic # 5-11 – Comics #9 and 10 have major continuity conflicts with the series but are still considered canon.

207-211

To Dream in the City of Sorrows (novel) - For smoother flow, the opening and closing framing sequence featuring Marcus is ignored. I have placed this novel after 211 given that both are is concerned with events happening on Minbar.. The framing sequence follows 319.

212-222

301-315

Technomage vol 3 August 2260 (novel)

316-319

Technomage vol 3 November 2260 (novel)

320-322

Technomage vol 3 December 2260 (novel)

401-406

Technomage vol 3 January 2261 (novel)

In Valen’s Name (comic mini-series)

407-408

Thirdspace

409-421

501-502

Hidden Agendas (short story) – Susan Ivanova’s first visit to B5 following the events of 421, written by JMS. The short stories and unshot episode scripts appeared in various publications and websites and are no longer (legally) available. I cannot supply them to you. JMS has requested they not be distributed and has occasionally mentioned the possibility of publication, though that seems increasingly unlikely as time goes on.

503-519

Centauri vol 1 Prologue (novel)
The Shadow of His Thoughts (short story) – Written by JMS. A story of Emperor Londo shortly following the coronation.

Centauri vol 1 2262-2264 (novel) – The first of the Centauri Trilogy is split into years and I have separated out the parts as I did with the Technomage Trilogy. There is a continuity error which has Sheridan & Garabali still working on B5 months after the events of 521.

520-521

Genius Loci (short story) – Written by JMS. A story of G’Kar and Lyta adventuring following the events of 520. It is unclear how long G’Kar and Lyta travelled together but it was less than three years.

River of Souls

The Nautilus Coil (short story) – Lyta and Garabaldi travel to Vorlon space. Written by J. Gregory Keyes, this is a companion to the Psi-Corps Trilogy and the last story to detail events leading to the Telepath War. The story of the war itself has never been told.

The Legend of the Rangers

Centauri vol 1 2265-2267 (novel)

Centauri vol 2 pgs 1-65 (novel) – The structure of separating the parts by year wasn’t used in this or the third volume so page numbers have been used.

A Call to Arms

Crusade 101-112 – Given the odd production order of Crusade, and the lack of a canonical viewing order, I felt it simplest to view in the order used on the dvds. This leaves a continuity conflict between episodes 105 and 110 , but ends the series on what I consider the best episode, 113, which features Stephen Franklin. Three unshot scripts were released on the internet and are no longer available. Five more episodes were discussed but never written (“Tried and True” by Fiona Avery, an Apocolypse Box episode by JMS, and a 3-part story in which Dureena gets a sword).

Crusade Unproduced To the Ends of the Earth – Written by JMS. Gideon gets a lead on the Shadow hybrid that destroyed the Cerberus. This script explains the uniform change which happens between Crusade 112 and 113.

Crusade 113

Crusade Unproduced Value Judgements – Written by Fiona Avery, this unshot script features a fugitive Alfred Bester.

Crusade Unproduced The End of the Line – The unshot season finale written by JMS. The episode would have revealed secrets of the Technomages that were instead used as material for the Technomage Trilogy, where much of the story of Galen saw the light of day. The episode ends with a cliffhanger.

Centauri vol 2 pgs 66 to end (novel) – The events in the remainder of the novel take place parallel to and following Crusade.

True Seeker (short story) – Written by Fiona Avery. Featuring Na’Toth and Alisa Beldon, a telepath who appeared in 117, the story takes place on Narn.

Lost Tales

Psi-Corps vol 3 pgs 1-245 (novel) – The story of the cure for the Drakh plague was never told. The events of this book are 4 years after those of Crusade and take place on Earth after the plague.

Centauri vol 3 (novel) – As noted above, the sequences of In The Beginning featuring Emperor Londo take place immediately following page 212 of this novel. The young woman taking care of the children in the film is revealed in the novel to be Senna, a main character in the Centauri Trilogy.

522 (Sleeping in Light)

Psi-Corps vol 3 pgs 246 to end (novel)

Space, Time and the Incurable Romantic (short story) – Written by JMS and featuring a happy ending for two tragic characters from the series.

422 (The Deconstruction of Falling Stars) – This episode features a short sequence at the beginning that places it shortly after 421 but I would rather end on an episode than a short story.

__________________________________________________

Thanks, Keith. If anyone knows of a publisher who might be interested in an expanded version of this, let us know and we’ll hook them up with Keith.

I’m not full on obsessive, haven’t read the comic books, nor the short stories, but pretty much everything else. I also paid far more than necessary for copies of “The Babylon File” (vol 1 and 2), and Jane Killick’s episode guides. I’ve linked them below to Amazon, in case anyone wants to pick them up.

Babylon 5 was easily one of the best, no, THE best science fiction show ever to have graced TV. I know you Trekkies are crapping bricks right now, deciding whether to scroll to the end and argue with me immediately, or whip out your notebooks to jot down each point you wish to argue.

But it’s true. It kicks ass in every possible way. Better story. Better story arcs. Better writing. Better Captain. Better villain. Better ships. Better battles. I could go for days, and based on the title of this article, I probably will.

1. The station. It’s called Babylon 5 because there were 4 more of them that went before. 3 were destroyed, and one went (Spoiler Alert in the very first point) BACK IN GOD_DAMNED TIME! Also, it spins, creating gravity, which no other show really spends any time dealing with in a realistic fashion.

2.The White Star. Best. Ship. Ever. Dudes, no argument here. The closest Trek gets on this is maybe the Defiant, in that it’s a ship that docks with a space station. Seriously, check this thing out.

3. Without it, No Deep Space 9. Ask yourself, did admin_rock just throw down a “Nerd Fight” starter? you bet your ass. Stracynzski pitched B5 to Paramount, who turned it down, then SUDDENLY had a great idea for a show centered around a space station where people arrive and have adventures, etc.

4. Things happen in the First Season, and by the Fifth, they still mean something. Continuity, look it up! B5 features flashbacks with dialogue from seasons earlier that suddenly change things or influence a character’s actions. This show is loaded with recalls and deeply seeded plot devices. Now the first season is a bit of a struggle, but by season 2, it takes off and never looks back.

And… that ought to do it. I think they’re anyone reading this article is either bored and gone, or has skipped to the end. la, la, la. Just me, good old admin_rock, by himself here in The Correctness. It’s nice to have the place all to myself. I should have done this months ago.

So, you know what kicks ass, other than me? My basement. It’s not only my home office, but it also contains my big ass TV, my extensive collection of DVDs, books (both comic and non) and more LEGO than you can imagine. Unless you’re one of my LEGO buddies, I guess maybe a few of them read this. But screw that, MORE LEGO THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!!! It’s everywhere, man. In boxes, out of boxes, on the floor, in bins, in the window wells, still in original packaging. And that’s not even including the 2 IKEA shelves with the big boxy shelves that house my display stuff, including my modular city street. It has lights. LIGHTS!!!! Everywhere. I literally cannot look anywhere in my sightline without seeing LEGO. Without even turning my head, I can see 12 minifigs on my computer desk alone. One of them has NO HEAD!

You know what else is really cool? Technology has reached the point where just having a home computer (happened within my lifetime) is not enough. Now we have home networks, with file servers and USB external hard drives. That’s crazy! Think about it. By the time my youngest son, now 2, is old enough to drive, no more hard drives. Chips in our heads. Bank on it!

I like writing articles for The Correctness. Everything about it, in fact. It would be cooler if I could devote my workday to writing here, but I have to keep feeding my family. They told me so. So I go to work at various oil companies, and do magic stuff with data, and they give me money, which I spend keeping this site running. The biggest problem we have with our readership is that it’s composed of good looking tech savvy people who are either smart enough to have adblocks of some kind running, or smart enough not to click on ads on the internet, which is sadly our only current source of revenue. I think I need to start a website for things my mom likes, because she and people like her will click on ANYTHING. But they don’t think articles like “Wool vs Yarn, Knitting Smackdown” are funny. So really, no difference from the regular articles. Note to self, buy up HotDonkeyKnitting.com.

I have another website too. It’s about that LEGO stuff I mentioned earlier. I made giant pictures out of LEGO that are actually pretty sweet. You could buy one, or have me make a picture of you and your loved one, or say, your Real Doll. They’re not cheap, so the target audience is rich and nothing better to do with the money. Just sayin…

I’m the only member of The Correctness who doesn’t have a part of their real name in their handle. It’s Dave. My name, I mean. I went with admin_rock because I’m the admin for site, and admin_rock reminds me of AD Rock from the Beastie Boys. I guess I could have been admin_Dave (lame!) or Dave_rock (stupid!). Sometimes I wonder if I chose it because it makes me more anonymous. Then I wonder whether that impulse is a normal and good one. Then I wonder whether I’m over thinking things. Then I wonder whether I tend to over think things alot, and if that impulse is a normal and good one. Then I want a voice in my head to confirm whether my choices are good. Then I remember that people who listen to voices in their heads are crazy. It seriously never ends, until I fall into the sweet release of vodka.

I love surfing. At least conceptually. I’ve had 1 half day lesson, and managed to get up on the board for a few seconds, in Australia. I should surf more, before I’m really old. It’s tricky in Calgary, though. Surfing symbolizes a lot of things I like in this world. Oceans. Beaches. Warm weather. Board shorts.

You know how people play the “If I had 100 Million dollars game: or “If I won the lottery” game? I use the first, because lotteries are for suckers. I’m constantly trying to convince my family to end their lottery subscription and give me the mone instead. I figure I’ll feel sorry for them and give some of it back long before they would every win anything. Everyone comes out ahead! Anyways, I like the game, except I generally get caught up in concocting a likely scenario by which I come into the money. Lately it’s been a wealthy Mexican billionaire whose life I save, and when he dies, he leaves me 100 million dollars. i use this scenario to fall asleep at night, as even my own subconscious gets tired of all the forms and legal wrangling involved before we can get to the spending part.

Okay, enough for now. Oh, better finish out the list, in case the scrollers get suspicious.

34. Londo Molari.: Brilliant character. You go from hating to loving to pitying him by the time Season 5 ends. And his relationship with G’Kar is the stuff of legends.

35. The Shadows.: Seriously, the scariest villains around. Their ships are powered by telepaths, who basically become part of the ship. Pretty bad ass!

So there you have it, 35 reasons to get a hold of all five seasons of Babylon 5. Do it. NOW! You can skip the made for TV movies.

Here at The Correctness, we deal in things nerdish. Also geekish and Pointdexterish, but mainly nerdish. And if there’s one things nerds can do better than most, it’s arguing about minutia. (Also math, computers, biology, chemistry, botany, etc).

Some of you out there are thinking, “so friggin what”. And you’re right. But just for a moment, consider the endless entertainment appeal of watching the little guys get really, really worked up about nothing, with the calming knowledge that if they get out of hand, you can easily subdue all of them, regardless of the numbers involved.

Without further delay, The Correctness presents a handy list of phrases that, when uttered in the presence of nerds, will guarantee a argument. We’ve also provided a guide for the non-nerd to have a frame of reference as to why these things can be dangerous.

BSG had a terrible ending. It made no sense at all.

The recent re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica ended in a fashion that divided the nerd camp into two groups: Those that immediately proclaimed it the best thing ever made for television, and those that rolled their eyes and moved on immediately. There is bound to be at least one of each in any group of 3 or more nerds.

One side will be making a case for the constant religious overtones, and the phrase “All of this has happened before, and will happen again”. They will cite the seeding of the “Final Five”, and the “head” characters as proof that the ending is completely keeping with the run of the show.

The other side will make some strong points about ludicrous decisions and bacteria, possibly something about doing it with cavemen. Neither side will win, nor give up. All of this has happened before, and will happen again.

If you look at them as a love story, The Prequels are really good.

Firstly, “The Prequels” refer to Episodes 1,2,3 of the Star Wars films (but the nerds will know this already. We’ll discuss the fact that the 4th through 6th episodes came first another day.)
The sheer disappointment of the collective fanbase from the prequels is still being felt in the nerdiverse to this day. The mere notion that they might have overlooked something, or more properly, that there might be something of value in these films will be enough to send them immediately at each other’s throats.

You can throw in some comments about love, and how it makes people do things they normally wouldn’t. You can argue that Anakin follows his heart, and does everything in his power to prevent the death of the woman who loves him. Finally, to ensure some rage, say “there’s no stronger commitment of their love then when Padme says ‘Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo’”.

For a company with a 5% market share, Apple sure spends a lot of money.

This item should be reserved for nerd groups that contain a hipster or two. For starters, Apple’s makert share of computer sales is closer to 8-10%, so you’ll get a reaction from Apple fanboys, both those who know what the true number is, and those who can’t possibly believe it’s that tiny. It will also kick off a lengthy discussion of the superiority of Apple computers, which will be refuted by the cost vs performance issue, which will lead into a virus/operating system dependability discussion. Seriously, you can get at least 2 beers worth of entertainment from this one.

Babylon 5 was miles better than Deep Space 9.

Babylon 5 was a syndicated sci-fi show that ran for 5 years, and isn’t well known outside of geek circles. It’s primary characteristics were that the entire run of the show was plotted out in advance, that it featured realistic physics for its space battles, and that it was pitched to Paramount executives, who passed on the show.

Deep Space 9 was the 3rd “Star Trek” series, and is considered by many Trekkies to be the best of the bunch (and certainly the darkest). It ran for 7 seasons, and is known for the fact that it took place in a single location which other came to (rather than a ship exploring like the other Star Trek shows). This was modified later in the series, but is still essentially accurate.

This match-up is a familiar one for nerds, and sets them off like cake at a fat camp. You have the “was DS9 based on B5″ argument, which might take all night on its own, and you have the various parties arguing for the superiority of their own favorite. Feel free to throw in comments such as “Why did they need to add Worf?” and “It’s weird that they changed the commander like that” to keep both parties going.

Manga/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded.

Unlike most of the items in this list, which are simply opinion based, this one is just fact. There aren’t that many Manga fans out there, but if you’re lucky enough to have one present, this will send them into a frenzy, citing examples of groundbreaking work from Japanese guys you’ve never heard of, like Toshiro, Yogotaki, and Mishriyama. If they seem like they might be holding their own in the argument, don’t be afraid to mention Sailor Moon, and Tentacles.

Ang Lee’s Hulk was awesome

This item could very easily backfire on you, if you’re not prepared. You’ll likely be greeted with a unified front of disagreement. Don’t be scared, and stick to your guns. Remember, your goal here is not to be right, but to make nerds excitable. Make reference to things like the comic book look and feel of the movie, and the subtle effect of the psychological make-up of Bruce Banner. DO NOT attempt to argue on the following points: Hulk Dogs, Nick Nolte.

D and D 4.0 is just World of Warcraft with pen and Paper

This topic will flush out the full nerds from your group, they simply won’t be able to feign ignorance, or keep their opinion to themselves. Recently, the new (4.0) version of Dungeons and Dragons came out, and sparked immediate discussion about the merits of the new system compared to version 3.5. There are many similarities between the design of 4.0 and the ridiculously popular (among the nerds) World of Warcraft. Watch as the 3.5 purists mock things like healing surges and diagonal movement costs. See the 4.0 advocates mock the high level problems of 3.5, and espouse the speed of the combat system.

Kirk is better than Picard

An argument that even the non-nerds can jump into. comparing the relative merits of Captain Kirk to Captain Picard will generate discussion of Starfleet policy, acting styles, and manliness. Again, if you’re looking for flashpoint issues, throw out these two: “Shatner cannot act”,”Picard was French”.

The Kirk camp will be those who love The Original Series the most, and won’t be swayed by arguments involving the cheese factor, Kirk’s staccato delivery, and his flagrant chewing of any furniture in the nearby vicinity.

The Picard people will think themselves superior due to the more sophisticated nature of The Next Generation. They will point to Picard’s maturity, his acting ability, and his baldness.

Firefly lasted 14 episodes too long

No show in recent memory has sparked more discussion among the fanboys than Joss Whedon’s “Firefly”. Fans of the show loved it for its attractive cast, irreverent attitude and snappy dialogue. Detractors hated it for its use of the “space western” genre, and mostly the way the fans of the show seem to drool on endlessly about. If your luck is good, and the beer is strong, and the moon is full, you may be lucky enough to have this argument reach physical combat. And nothing , not even a redneck bar fight, is more fun to watch than Dexter and Milton duking it out over Nathan Fillion.

And thus, we come to the end of our article. We wish you good luck in your nerd-baiting, a phrase we hesitate to use, as it simply sounds wrong, and conjures up images we’d rather not have to scrub out of our brains later.