Normally, The Correctness is an original content only kind of site, and we aren’t the sort to get all link happy. But I think this is a special occasion.

The Avengers trailer just hit.

I think this is an excellent opportunity for all of us Correct heads to get together and have a good old gab about what we think of it. I am particularly looking forward to Admin_Rock’s take on it, as he will be torn between his dislike of the Avengers and his love of Joss Whedon.

As for myself…Fucking LOVED it.

So what do you guys and gals think?

Why Puny Humans no leave Hulk Reboot Alone?

As part of our continuing service to you, The Correct, we continually find things for you to be in favour of. In our crazy, fast paced, webmanic society, it’s easy to miss something. Our “A Case For” series presents something (a TV show, film, Book, Band etc) that might deserve a look.
Our first installment “A Case For: Farscape” was presented by one of our regular readers, and we encourage that sort of behavior. If you have something you’d like to make a case for, write it up and send it to us at admin@thecorrectness.com . See the end of the article for more info.
This week, we bring you A Case for “The Incredible Hulk” Louis Letterier’s 2008 reboot, brought to you by Tbinns

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In 2003 we got a Hulk movie by Ang Lee, an enormously gifted film maker. It was what I like to refer to as a bold and magnificent failure. It was less a comic book movie and more a two plus hour haiku about anger. I appreciated the fact that it was taken seriously. I appreciated the effort the cast put in. I appreciated the fact that it was trying to add psychological depth.I appreciated Jennifer Connelly. In fact let’s all take a moment to appreciate Jennifer Connolly…

Tbinnsing, y’all

But “Hulk” was ultimately a mess. Hulk Poodles? Nick Nolte is Bruce’s dad, who kinda becomes the absorbing man, and then they have a cloudy confrontation at the end? Ugggh. No wonder Marvel wanted a reboot.

And so… with a collective rolling of the public’s eyes, Marvel set out to do the Hulk right. Unfortunately the general public had already been bitten once, and were not too keen to give The Ever Lovin Hulk a second chance. They still had fresh memories of not enjoying the last one. Consequently, 2008’s “The Incredible Hulk” got short shrift and is generally regarded as Marvel Studios worst effort.

I have been a Hulk fan since childhood. Who didn’t fantasize about sending their playground tormentors running as you Hulked out and smashed the jungle gym to splinters? (No? Just me? Fair enough). And as a fan with anger issues I have to say I dug the HELL out of the Incredible Hulk. More than Iron Man 2. More than Thor even. I maintain that if THIS movie came out first, it would be held in much higher regard by the public. So in the midst of a superhero heavy summer, I urge you to give The Incredible Hulk a second look. And here is why…

1. Edward Norton

The problem with Bana, I think was that he looked like a hero to begin with. He was definitely a leading man type. I have always pictured Banner to be a weedy little scientist with a desperate and haunted look in the eye. A brilliant man who wants nothing more than to eliminate the possibility of hurting anyone, especially those he loves. Norton played this perfectly… a man on the run from himself and the military machine who wants to use him as a weapon. Norton captured the intensity, the loneliness, the inherent decency, and yes even the sense of humor perfectly. Bana was definitely good…but Norton was better

2. The Fight scenes

Let’s get the big complaint out of the way…Of course the CGI looks fake. It’s a giant green man. It is NEVER going to look photo realistic…it’s so outlandish the human eye rejects it almost immediately upon seeing it. If you can’t let that go you have no business going to see a Hulk movie in the first place. This was a meaner leaner Hulk that kicked some serious ass. Exhibit A) The fight sequence on the Campus. Hulk versus the Super Soldiered Blonsky. We got a real glimpse of what Cap vs. Hulk might look like on the big screen and it was awesome.

And the best part was the delightful little button right on the end…

“Oh it looks soo fake and rubbery!!!!” comes the cry from the internet.

Here’s an extra big slice of “Shut the Fuck up, it’s fun” for you, then.

And exhibit B) The big fight at the end…Hulk and Abomination, knocking the living shit out of each other as it should be. Not enveloped in a cloud that wants his anger and ultimately can’t handle it (again, what the fuck?) Just two gamma radiatiated gentlemen working out their differences , using police cars as boxing gloves, and destroying half a city while doing so. I’m not huge fan of the DESIGN on the Abomination…but clearly THAT was the villain the movie needed, and the fight it needed. Like I suggested in my “How to make a Superman Movie” article, our hero needs to face something bigger, stronger, and meaner, and defeat it using determination, guts and brains.

And the theatre audience I saw it with cheered like crazy when he said “Hulk Smash!”

3. It Fits Seamlessly into the Marvel Universe

I actually quite like the little Easter eggs linking the Marvel movies together and this one sowed plenty of seeds to make it fit into the bigger picture. We saw the origin of the Leader, Stark Military technology, Super Soldier serum in action and of course the now traditional post credit sequence. And if the film hadn’t been cut quite so frantically, we might have even seen a glimpse of Cap himself. Unlike some of the bits in Iron Man 2, most of this is worked in very cleverly and without a heavy hand. There’s even a couple of nods to the TV show for a few sharp eyed viewers

4. Liv Tyler in Tina Fey Glasses

Mmmmm. Betty-licous

5. General “Thunderbolt” Ross is a Douche…As He Should Be

The casting of Sam Elliot as General Thunderbolt Ross was kind of a stroke of genius, but ultimately there is always going to be something sympathetic and noble about a Sam Elliot character. And indeed, in this case, Ross was a man whose priorities were to keep his daughter, and the civilian population safe, even if that meant locking Banner away for life in a bunker. And while that does take the character out of the realm of cartoon bad guy…I’m not sure that is the right call. I prefer the idea of Hurt’s General Ross, a die hard military opportunist, looking to exploit the Hulk for his own nefarious purposes, willing to endanger his soldiers with unproven enhancement drugs , and his daughter by using her as bait. General Ross is a slimy bastard, and William Hurt made him suitably oily

As we come to the Avengers movie next year we will be on our third cinematic interpretation of the Hulk in less than 10 years. We have yet another Bruce Banner and probably yet another CGI Hulk design. Personally, I don’t think it is necessary. I think the 2008 reboot is a gem, with some awesome action sequences, some good acting, some great shots (The pan up the slums of Portugal is fantastic)and more importantly it was true to the character and FUN. Do you hear me Ang Lee? FUN!! And how many of our fellow internet shut ins bitch about wasting time on Superhero origin stories? This one didn’t waste any time on that…it was all taken care of neatly and effectively in the credits. And yet, people still bitch… I say to them that The Incredible Hulk is not the Abomination (Ha! Word play Liz Lemon!) that they think it is, and they need to give it a repeat viewing.
Now excuse me , I’m going to go put on my Hulk Hands and frighten the neighborhood children.

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If you have a show or film or book or band you’d like to make a case for, we’d love to hear from you. Read the rules below, and drop us a line.
The rules:
1) Give us 5 good reasons we should care, or watch, or listen etc. Make them compelling. Remember, you’re trying to sell this to us, and our readers.
2) Send pictures along with the article. Admin_rock doesn’t like to work harder than he has to, so be sure to send pics, or links to pics in the article.

Time for some Superteam Smackdown, live from the The Correctness’s new Herodome, located in sunny downtown Newville. The tailgates are up, the beer is cold, the snacks are carby, it’s time for some smackdown! We have 8 classic superhero teams fighting it out to see who can claim the title.

This week It’s the Final! The Mighty Avengers vs. The X-men. Two titans of of the superteam genre, more titanic even than the Thunderbolts, who suck a bunch.

RULES:

-The two day prep, fight in an arena still applies.

-No outside interference from people who are NOT on your team. Ie: No stunts from Franklin and Professor X. Your team is your team and that’s who you’ve got.

-Heroes with Multiple team affiliations can only fight for 1 team

- Only 5 members max per team. Current lineups are based on our choices, as we are awesome.

-Remember, this speculation is based on the TEAM MEMBERS we have assembled. Yes, the results would have been very different if Professor X was on the Team, or Green Lantern, or Martian Manhunter or whomever. But they aren’t, so the results are based on who we’ve got.

The Avengers (Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Wasp (Janet))

vs

The X-men (Cyclops, Wolvie, Jean, Colossus, and Rogue)

RobbieRobTown

The final you (might) have all been waiting for (to end)! The Avengers vs The X-Men! A beach volleyball team versus an eighties hair band! How could you not be excited about this? This is going to be the best kegger ever! Rent the cottage! Buy the Doritos! Don’t tell your parents! Tie the dead guy to yourself and pretend he’s still alive for the whole weekend! Hilarious!

Does the whole Marvel universe strike anyone else as one of those eighties teen movies where the evil developer is going to tear down the karate orphanage and replace it with a gold building made out of stocks and veal? Lucky thing the evil developer is so arrogant he’s willing to bet it all on one karate match, even though he has everything to lose and nothing at all to gain- But then what did he have to gain by knocking down that karate orphanage in the first place? Whole thing was built on a radioactive Indian burial ground anyway, and it’s nowhere near any major bus routes…

I know, it’s easy to rip on the Marvel Universe. The DC Universe is the same, but their demographic is like the Marvel Universe’s self righteous older brother, and he just knows DC is much cooler because Batman swears sometimes.

FIGHT TIME!

Surprise Batman re-entry! Pow! Batman re-entered you! No, I’m kidding. Or am I? Maybe I’m dead serious. One certainty, Bruce Wayne is making money off these tickets. Frank Miller’s Batman would own Ticketmaster, and the ticket stubs would have a chemical dye that would stain your penis the next time you jack off so Batman can blackmail you. He isn’t in the fight, but he wants to know your masturbation schedule, and then he is going to tell Robin about it. At length- the discussion, not the penis. I am not Batman, I don’t need to know anything about your penis. Eighties teen movie! Hilarious.

Speaking of Batman, Captain America should be the Batman of Marvel. He isn’t super, he’s just a guy who finished a fruit smoothie and a couple of Tony Robbins tapes and is feeling pretty confident. Can we just rule him out? “No!” shout Cap fans! “Too bad!” I shout.

One down. Let’s rule out Cyclops too. One kick to the glasses and he’s all “The curse of my laser eyes! Waaaaah! I’m sooooo sad!”. Fuck that guy.

Next up: Iron man! Have you guys ever dated an alcoholic? I have. Tell him to choose between booze or you. He’ll pick booze just to prove that HE is the one in control. I know, I know, his healing factor prevents him from getting drunk and stealing your shit and putting a bunch of pin holes in the condoms so he can have your baby and then bitch about it. Still, even with the healing factor, what a dick.

Here comes Thor! He has a hammer! He hammers frequently. He hammers in the morning, he hammers in the evening, all over this land. As soon as he is finished hammering out love between his brothers and his sisters (incest, Pete Seeger?), he is going to try and start hammering Kitty Pryde, and not in a sexy way.

“What’s Kitty Pryde doing back in the fight, RobieRobTown?” you ask, if you have never visited the site before. To answer your question, I refer you to anything else I’ve written.

Thor comes out swinging, and Kitty Pryde isn’t there. All the others fight a bunch, and then eventually they are all tired of trying to hit Kitty Pryde, who isn’t there. There is a light lunch. Tony Stark pisses on the carpet, and claims he was sleepwalking, even though he was falling down drunk and having an “episode”. What a dick! New plans are formulated to try to hit Kitty Pryde. Back from lunch! The remaining Avengers continue to try and hit Kitty Pryde, and she continues to be not there. Break for dinner! Day 2: Muffins, then trying to hit Kitty Pryde, who isn’t there.

Finally, Thor gives up, and says something like “Ye are thee thusly! Nay, forsooth and such!”. Then, throwing in the towel, Tony Stark gets married to someone else while you are on vacation. WHAT A DICK! Eighties teen movie! Hilarious!

Winner: X-Men!

admin_Rock:

This smackdown was a tough one, for many reasons. It’s easier to assess a one on one fight than it is to sort out the entire team vs team. Teams tend to vary greatly in strength, and over the years have had many different members. But none of that matters, it’s FINALS day! X-Men vs The Avengers. And yes, this fight has been done a few times, of course never with our lineup, and never on our site.

My favorite part of the smackdown, and the part that many people forget, is that it’s really a big game of “What if”.

Does everyone have an opinion? Yes.
Is their opinion right? They probably think so.
Is there an overly obsessive fanboy who is going to nitpick and disagree with you. Abso-fucking-lutely.
Could you take him in a fight? Yep.
Would anyone do an admin_Rock vs fanboy smackdown? Depends on how hard up for content we are.
Would RobbieRobTown make a sidecard involving Newton from the old Hercules cartoon, a jar of Grape Smuckers and the correct pronunciation of the word “mischievous”? Almost certainly.
Could you take RobbieRobTown in a fight? Dude, have you SEEN RobbieRobTown? His picture up there isn’t a line drawing, that’s actually how skinny he is.
Would you fight him? Hells no. RRT is my friend, and he makes me laugh.
Can you get on with the smackdown already? K.

The two teams meet at the centre of the arena, and wait for the horn. The Avengers are surprised that the JLA aren’t here, as they were told that The Correctness had planned the whole thing from the beginning to end that way.

The horn sounds, and the battle is on. Captain America barks out some orders, and The Avengers fan out to start the attack. The X-Men tighten up into the shape of an X, they like things like that. Even more, they like titles with the letter X in them. X-Men, X-Force, eX-Caliber, eX-iles, X-23, X-Man, X-Wife. Oh, you know what they love even more? Characters that hop in and out of the timeline. Man they love that. Nothing would please Cyclops more that to discover that he’s in fact the father of Charles Xavier, except perhaps if he found out he was his own son (but NOT his own father.)

Wolverine is momentarily confused, as he is also an Avenger. Then he remembers what a bullshit idea that is, how little it makes sense, and gets his head back in the game. Cyclops fires an optic blast toward hawkeye’s incoming arrows, which slices through them and puts Hawkeye out of his misery, and saves me from having to write anything further about him.

Wolvie goes after Cap, and they battle adamantium vs adamantium, shield vs skeleton. The sound is not deafening, but very annoying. This could go on for a while, we’ll check in later.

Iron Man takes to the sky, and goes toe to toe with Rogue. This is a brilliant idea, as he’s not in danger of the power transfer thing. However, he’s not resistant to Jean Grey’s psychic attacks, which leave him unable to do anything more than crash into the ground.

Meanwhile, Thor and Colossus are duking it out in the usual “every team has a strong guy” part of the fight.

Wasp takes advantage of the numbers and stings Cyclops, knocking him down. Jean hears his cries, and turns, unable to explain her attraction to such a milquetoast cardboard cut out of a superhero, and smashes Wasp to the ground with her telekinesis.

Rogue comes to help Wolvie, and though Cap is quick enough to defend against her, he can’t handle the two of them, and Wolvie finally gets a shot in, dropping him.

Colossus is getting pounded by Thor, plain and simple. He’s not strong enough to beat a God of Thunder. Which is why he’s really glad when the rest of his time shows up and takes the fight to Thor. It’s only a matter of time now, until Jean can grab hold of his mind, or Rogue can close and touch him, or Wolvie can sink some claws in. Cyclops is unconscious, we think, soooo hard to tell with him, and Colossus, as mentioned, not strong enough on his own. For the sake of argument, Wolvie gets a fist to Thor’s head and extends the claws, giving Thor a lobotomy.

Game, set, and X-match

Winner: The X-Men

Tbinns

I think for this whole team thing to work, you have to bring a certain amount of personality into play. Personality is a key factor that’s often overlooked in these battles.

For instance, yes Superman could launch someone into the Sun. But the key thing is…he wouldn’t, he would never do that. If he was the sort of person who would do that, there would be no Lex Luthor.

Consequently, I think we need to focus on what one of these Characters WOULD do as opposed to what they COULD do.

To that end, I am going to take a guess based on what I know about these characters about who would end up taking on who, and based on that, who would come out on top.

Cap is a leader and a master strategist. He is also, despite Rob’s protests to the contrary, awesome. He knows the real heavyweight here is Jean, so he’s going to want to take her out first. The Avengers don’t appear to have any mind protection, or psychics on the team, so for now, I’m giving this one to Jean.

Based on a system of honor, warriors code, and a deep desire to see just who is the toughest, I believe Thor and Wolverine would be naturally drawn to each other. They are in for a long battle. Wolverine has a metal skeleton, which means he’ll be sucking lightning the whole time but, he also would recover from that quickly. By and large though, you get enough electricity and godly hammer strikes against you, you are going to pass out. I’m giving Wolverine vs Thor to Thor

I think Tony is smart enough to go after Rogue. Having no powers per se, and armour to protect him from her touch, he is the perfect candidate to take her out, which I think he could do without too much trouble especially with distance weapons. That one goes to Iron Man.

Wasp specializes in taking out big guys, buzzing in their ears and zapping away. But Colossus has metal skin his ears. No soft tissue. I’m calling Colossus.

That means Cyc vs. Hawkeye. Can Hawkeye take out the visor with an arrow? Yes, Can he do it under fire? I’m going to say yes. Can he do it faster than Scott can blast them away…uhhhh no. I’m calling Cyclops on that one.

So far that’s 3-2 for the X-men. But here are the “Other factors” that need consideration. And they are crucial.

1. Can the combined mental might of Tony Stark and Hank Pym come up with some kind of anti psychic attack headgear in just two days?

2. Who exactly did Rogue touch just before heading into battle?

So it’s still anyone’s game…enough of the pre-show analysis, let’s head to the arena. A hush falls over the crowd as the two sides square off. In calm, Cap gives Cyclops a respectful nod.

The buzzer sounds…there is a slight perceptible wobble in the air, but the X-men press forward to meet…

THE DEFENDERS!!! That’s right bitches. Dr. Strange altered the fabric of space and time to reverse a completely unjust verdict. In his time off he has created an alternate universe that is EXACTLY like our own except for a) Nickleback doesn’t exist, and b) Robbie Robtown LOOOVES Namor, especially his ankle wings. Which means the winner of the Defenders vs. The Avengers was in fact THE DEFENDERS AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. This parallel universe slides into place at the sound of the buzzer and completely overlaps our own, becoming the primary earth for all continuity from now until forever stamp, stamp, no erase-ies, amen. To achieve this remarkable and incredibly unlikely feat, Dr. Strange would have to a) Realize he is a fictional character, b) Be aware of Rob’s anti-Namor prejudice and c) have the power to do something about it from the pages of a comic book, thus affecting the outcome of a quasi obscure blog.

Sound impossible? Well, guess what?

Hulk grabs Colossus by the ankles and starts swatting Wolverine with him. Jean cannot penetrate the psychic barrier Strange has enveloped his team in. Surfer flies out and uses the power cosmic, which is only slightly less vague and sweeping than Strange’s magic to reverse polarize Rogues power, so when she touches someone, she completely drains herself and makes others stronger. She tries that shit on the Hulk, gets swatted with a Colossus bat. Splat. While Cyc is blasting away Namor comes out of nowhere and K.O’s him.

Hulk and Wolvie are STILL pounding the hell out of each other, but everybody else is down and out, because this is a right and just universe where the fucking DEFENDERS run the fucking table, and aren’t taken out by people who don’t like certain people’s superheroic footwear.

Winners: THE DEFENDERS! Yes I’m serious. If you doubt it, click below, and sing along. Play us out, boys

Decision: X-Men

And so, Ladies and Gentlemen, the X-Men are crowned champions of the Team Smackdown, and join winners Superman (Smackdown) and Dr. Doom (Villian Smackdown) in the hall of Smackdown fame.

What’s next? Who knows. Perhaps a non-comic book smackdown? Perhaps SuperMODEL Smackdown? Pitch your ideas below, and we’ll mock them ineffectively!

Here at The Correctness, we have access to all kinds of information that the common man is unable to access. Yes, ALL KINDS. We have spies, moles, quislings, carrier pigeons, and heavyset dudes with cameraphones parked out in strategic locations.

All of this so we can bring you breaking comic news as it happens. Today’s exclusive, the plotlines from Marvel comics for the year 2011. Read on, True Believer!

AVENGERS: With the recent reformation of the Avengers following Dark Reign, Marvel has introduced a number of books: Avengers, New Avengers, Secret Avengers, Avengers Academy, Pet Avengers.

NEW: This coming year, Marvel introduces Friends of Avengers, I was an Avenger, Working for the Avengers, Avengers Polling Well in the 18-25 Demo,Avengers: Miami, Avengers SVU, The Late Show with the Avengers, The Walking Avengers, Avengers II: Electric Boogaloo. (Note: Wolverine will be featured in ALL of these titles).

PLOTLINES: The Avengers will head in to action this year against such noted villains as Kang, Hydra, Kang, Red Skull, Kang, and Doctor Doom, who turns out to be Kang in disguise. Also, the team will be disbanded after they discover the new Captain America has been employing illegal immigrants. Later, they will reform into Gold and Blue strike teams (each featuring Wolverine), and a special “secret” team, led by Wolverine. After Chris Claremont complains, those teams will be brought together in an event book called RE-REASSEMBLED!, which will see the team combine into a giant fighting force of 68 members, all with the single goal of stopping Kang.

FANTASTIC FOUR: The Fantastic Four will lose a team member this year, in a storyline designed to shock the Marvel Universe to its very core.

NEW: No new titles to be added, as the “Rebirth” of the FF will be saved until after the Avengers have worn out their welcome.

PLOTLINES: After the tragic death of Sue Storm Richards, the Team is in the verge of being torn apart with guilt and accusation. At the behest of Valeria, Logan comes to the team and through lengthy discussion, unites them as one, and agrees to stay on permanently. Ben Grimm will also be cured, allowing him to revert to human form. For 3 issues. Then, it’s back to rocky for him.

X-MEN: The X-men are attempting to recover from the aftermath of Second Coming, which brought the end of Cable, and the restoration of mutants on earth through the “trigger” power of Hope.

NEW: Only 5 new titles in the X-Universe this year. Logan’s X-Universe, Deadpool: “I’m the Lobo of the Oughts”, Deadpool: “How is No One Sick of Me Yet?”, Wolverine: Dark Pants, and X-ercise.

PLOTLINES: The X-men struggle trying to gain acceptance in a world that doesn’t want them, regardless of how many times they stop the destruction of the planet. Magneto is affected by an EMP pulse, and becomes evil once again, until he knocked on the head by a falling tree, which allows him to regain his gentle side and join the X-Men once again. Also, Mr. Sinister is attacked by the Sentinals, which causes him to shift allegiance, and join the X-Men. While squaring off against the remnants of the Hellfire Club, a sudden change of heart leaves the X-Men scrambling to find enough bedrooms on Utopia.

THE REST

Titles like Spider-Man, Daredevil, Iron Man, etc will also be seeing some changes this coming year.

Spider-Man will permanently become partners with Wolverine, solving mysteries from a small detective agency. A lot of the “heat” will come from the will-they-or-won’t-they aspect.

Daredevil is moving in a new direction, with the title character in charge of the Hand. He will begin franchising out, with at least 6 different teams (all of which include Logan).

Iron Man will move in a radical new direction, as Tony Stark will be killed off, and replaced with a mysterious Canadian character, who will redesign the gauntlets to allow for a certain natural feature.

That’s all the news we have from Marvel, though we’re hoping to hear back from our inside man at DC, who teased us with the following: “Hey guys, big news from DC, can’t say too much yet, but check this: 10 new titles, all written by a certain fellow with the intials G.J.”

See you Soon!

It’s time people.

Here are the brackets for the Superteam Smackdown:

Week 1: The Defenders (Doctor Strange, Namor, Silver Surfer, and The Hulk) versus The Watchmen (Dr. Manhattan, Rorschach, Nite Owl, Comedian, Ozymandius)

Week2 : The JLA (Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Batman, Aquaman) Vs. The Fantastic Four (Reed Richards, Sue Richards, Johnny Storm and the Thing)

You: Woah Woah, Woah AQUAMAN? They CHOSE AQUAMAN?

Us: Yep.

TOMASS: Sweeet!!!

YOU: Where the hell is Green Lantern?

US: He’s on the Green Lantern Corps team

YOU: Okay, so where is the Green Lantern Corp?

US: On a press junket for the upcoming Ryan Reynolds movie. (We are a little gun shy of the Lanterns after last time).

YOU: Oh you guys suck!!

US: That reminds me, This time we are offering a prize for the best insult in the talkback section. Unleash your nerd rage creatively and we will send you a limited edition Correctness T-Shirt. Shall we continue?

WEEK 3 : The Avengers (Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Giant Man) versus Alpha Flight (Guardian, Puck, Sasquatch, Shaman, Snowbird)

WEEK 4: X-men (Cyclops, Wolvie, Jean, Colossus, and Rogue) Versus The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Mina, Quartermain, Mr. Hyde, The Invisible Man and Captain Nemo)

YOU: Alpha Flight is in, and the Lanterns are OUT?

US: Canadian Content Laws. FCC. Our hands are tied. Now, if you please…if you keep interrupting, we’ll never get through this.

YOU: What about side cards?

US: Sigh… We couldn’t stop RobbieRobTown if we tried.

RULES:

-The two day prep, fight in an arena still applies.

-No outside interference from people who are NOT on your team. Ie: No stunts from Franklin and Professor X. Your team is your team and that’s who you’ve got.

-Heroes with Multiple team affiliations can only fight for 1 team

- Only 5 members max per team. Current lineups are based on our choices, as we are awesome.

-Remember, this speculation is based on the TEAM MEMBERS we have assembled. Yes, the results would have been very different if Professor X was on the Team, or Green Lantern, or Martian Manhunter or whomever. But they aren’t, so the results are based on who we’ve got. However, having said that…

-You have 1 week before the first round starts, so argue passionately and intelligently about why so and so should be on a particular team and we MAY do a few substitutions. However, once the tournament starts, it’s locked in.

So there it is. Let’s keep it clean (ish) and have fun out there!

Well, after a delightful lunch on a patio, The Correctness collectively decided we liked the sound of a Team Smackdown. We tossed some names out, but have yet to make any official brackets, so now is your chance to speak up.

Some things you should know…Heroes can only belong to one team in the tournament, ie: Wolverine can fight for the X-Men or The Avengers, not both. Also the teams will consist of the SPECIFIC heroes we lay out. So when we say “The Avengers” We would say “Consisting of Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Wasp, and Giant Man.” and we decide that Hulk is Fighting for the Defenders, or that we decide Hawkeye is lame and doesn’t make the cut, so be it. Let’s face it, if we let EVERYONE who has ever been an X-Man fight it would be chaos.

Here are some of the names we are kicking around so far, feel free to make your suggestions below.

The Avengers

The X-Men

The Fantastic Four

The Justice League

The Teen Titans

The Watchmen

The Defenders

Alpha Flight (Canadian, eh?)

The League of Extraordinary Gentleman

The Inhumans

The BRPD

The JSA

And don’t worry…Rob has plenty of epic side battles planned (Muppet Babies vs The Scooby Doo gang, anyone?)

So…who did we miss? Speak now or forever hold your insults.

In case you haven’t read it already, and began weeping openly, crying “Nooooooooo!!!” to the heavens ala Darth Vader in Episode 3, Disney bought Marvel Comics for 4 Billion Dollars. We here at the Correctness think there will be some changes on the horizon…and here, for no reason at all, are ten of them

10. She Hulk: The Movie starring Miley Cyrus

9.Namor will beat the living snot out of the Sea Witch in an upcoming direct to DVD Little Mermaid sequel

8.Spider-man will continue the emo/dance number direction he went in the third film, and he will merge with the High School Musical franchise.

7. Stan Lee will laugh at all of us on his private island. Satellite photos will show him drinking a Mai Tai and giving us the finger.

6.Adorable Baby Avenger Dolls will be added to the “It’s a Small World” ride. there will also be lyric changes
“It’s a world of “Hulk Smash”, a world of “Thwipp”, it’s a World of “Bamf”, it’s a World of “Snikt”

5. Donald Duck will be revealed to be a Skrull.

4. Mickey will be added to the Correctness Superhero Smackdown Bracket

3. One of our beloved characters will be turned into a gaudy , tourist friendly Broadway musical, with the music written by some self important pop star that…oh wait…that’s kind of already happening.

2. Wolverine will go back to Weapon X for de-clawing. And neutering

1. Tony Stark, depressed at the recent buyout, will go to a bar to get drunk. There, he’ll find Kermit slouched over his beer. He unsteadily looks up at Tony with bloodshot ping pong ball eyes and croaks…”You too huh?”