Elvis Lives! (Poll Results)

The Correctness has been receiving a fair amount of e-mail looking for clarifications and understand about plot points in famous films. We, as always, are correct, and aim to spread understanding in these cases. Let us begin. Dear Correctness, Was the gun that Edward Norton's character uses at the end of Fight Club real, or was it imaginary like Tyler Durden? Jim in Brooklyn

...The internet is no place for advertising. It is an immense public forum that runs on goodwill and charitable government servers, and rainbow kisses. I would be immensely, immensely disturbed if anyone were to mention that RobbieRobTown has a musical going up at the Edmonton Fringe Festival. Why would you bother to tell me that he has written all the music, or that he is starring in the show? That sort of corporate pandering is deplorable, gentlemen. We have all had enough quirky puppet musicals with banjos. The Muppets got there first, and Jim Henson controls the copyright to all things fabric with banjos...

A very short play by Tbinns

Us: Hey you know what this site needs? Peanut Gallery: Better writers? Us: Bite Us! No no, what this site needs is more impotent nerd rage...

Dear Zoosk: This is your current advertisement. I hate it. I do not hate wantonly, but I freely and unabashedly hate this ad. It makes me want to jab pencils in each ear so that the last sound I hear is the sound of HB graphite in stereo. It makes me want to give myself a new optical prescription by scraping a potato peeler against my corneas. It makes me want to swallow one hundred "Do Not Eat" silica desiccant packets so that my last bowel movement will violently rocket a dusty puff made of my intestines and what's left of my soul into the sewer. Let me tell you what is wrong with this ad. 0:00 : Here are 4 attractive women in a coffee shop. They are there, I assume by the sunlight, around mid day? Let me start again: Here are 4 attractive unemployed women. You can tell they are unemployed because they are dressed casually, they all appear to have nothing better to do, and one of them is sitting on the floor for some reason.