ACTION SMACKDOWN! This week: Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley, late of the Nostromo, vs. Captain Malcom Reynolds of the Firefly class spaceship Serenity. Ms. "Get away from her, you bitch" vs. Mr. "If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you". Let's get it on like the Yuuzhan Vong.
You kids today don’t know what it’s really like. When I was young, things were different. We had different stuff that had fewer things on it, and it made more sense and took fewer batteries- or more to the point, no batteries at all, and that means it was WHOLESOME (TM). Yes, we even ate foods that were more wholesome, though actually we were all eating the same 20 commercially distributed things, and no one had heard the word organic, but everyone had heard the word “DDT”, and we used to have games like “Lick the DDT” and “What fits in my anus”, and it was a simpler time.
"One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi." Arnold counted again, carefully, one every second.
(ed: This article was found in the trunk of RobbieRobTown's time travelling car, dated March 12, 2022.) Hey folks, here's this week's Ep review of Translocution. This week's installment is called "Solace", but there wasn't any to be found for our main characters. Things opened up with the long awaited meeting between Jake and Kelsie. Kelsie was still in possession of the stolen blueprints, and Jake pressed her for their whereabouts. Kelsie wasn't giving anything up, especially with Jake's imminent departure for the Omicron system. Things got heated, and Jake threatened to get the plans at any cost. We know from last season that Jake won't hesitate to use the mind-control parasites he found, so I think this is heading in an awesome direction, for Jake at least. Read more...
For those who don’t know, which I have to assume is all of you because if you DID know you are taking WAY too much interest in my personal life, I am in the process of developing a half hour comedy show. I’ll spare you the painful details about how many times I’ve had to rethink the concept owing to being beaten to the punch, but I believe I’ve hit on something that works now. We’ll leave it at that. I have a producer attached, who got us a little funding to write a pilot, and then, something rather marvelous happened.