The Correctness Explains
Posted by admin | Posted in Movies | Posted on 16-07-2009
Tags: Bruce Willis, casual wear, Darth Vader, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Finding Nemo, Heroes, Lois Lane, No Country For Old Men, really fucking stupid people, Return of the Jedi, Superman, The Godfather, The Prestige, The Sixth Sense, There Will Be Blood, Transformers
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The Correctness has been receiving a fair amount of e-mail looking for clarifications and understand about plot points in famous films. We, as always, are correct, and aim to spread understanding in these cases. Let us begin.
Dear Correctness,
Was the gun that Edward Norton’s character uses at the end of Fight Club real, or was it imaginary like Tyler Durden?
Jim in Brooklyn
- Jim,
The Correctness follows very strict guidelines in these matters, and as such we would be breaking the first two rules of Fight Club to discuss this.
Dear Correctness,
if Darth Vader became good again at the end of Return of the Jedi, why did Luke burn his body?
Drew in Toronto
-Drew,
Really? That confused you? It was similar to a Viking Burial. It was a respectful gesture, not an angry one. Damn, I’m surprised you didn’t get that. Huh.
Dear Correctness,
How come Lois Lane is alive at the end of Superman. She died in the earthquake in her car.
Jerry in Portland
-Jerry,
Did you not see the part where Superman flew around the Earth a whole bunch of times, really fast? He was reversing time, in order to save Lois. Maybe you were in the bathroom for that part or something.
Dear Correctness,
How come Sylar was still alive after the Season 1 finale of Heroes? We saw him get destroyed.
Jane in L.A.
-Jane,
Look. Heroes is just retarded. Only morons are still watching that shit.That’s all you need to know.
Dear Correctness,
Was Bruce Willis’ character in the Sixth Sense really dead?
Terry in Dallas
-Terry,
Holy crap. Are you really asking that? It was pretty much the whole point of the movie. I need an aspirin.
Dear Correctness,
I’ve never understood this one: In the movie “The Godfather”, which character was The Godfather. It’s very confusing to me.
Gail in St. Louis
Gail,
No. No way. Bullshit. No one is that fucking stupid. You go to hell, Gail.
Dear Correctness,
When you answered that question about Fight Club, what was that bit about the rules. I don’t remember any rules. I don’t get it.
Gill in Tokyo
Gill,
Again, I think you’re jerking my chain. First, EVERYONE knows the First Rule of Fight Club. EVERYONE. Secondly, how did you read the earlier question , when it’s clearly in the same article as this one. Look, when I agreed to do this answers crap, I figured people were going to ask questions about the ending of the Prestige, or the timeline of Donnie Darko, or whatever that mess of an ending of “No Country For Old Men” was. Hell, I was ready to go on at length about the meaning of “There Will Be Blood” and why it 10 times as good as you probably think it is. But this stuff is ridiculous. “I don’t get the ending of Superman???” You are the kind of people that go to Transformers, knowing full well it will be a big sack of crap.
Dear Correctness,
Why was it called “Finding Nemo”, when there was no character calle
Fuck it, I’m done.




With you on much of the above, with the exception of Darth’s burning body. WHY DIDN’T HE DISAPPEAR?!?!? i.e. like Obi Wan and Yoda, simply evaporating into the jedi atmosphere?
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I live in Singapore, so Transformers was on in the film festival. In the edgy foreign movie section. But they always cut the films here, the censors are very protective of our modesty.
So my question is, since the robots had giant balls, did I miss a hot robot sex scene? And if so, did Michael Bay or ‘McBay’ as fans like to call him, really take a giant robot di******* censored by the Singapore Media Advisory Agency******* because that would have made the whole two hours of crap worth it.
Thanks.
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Irene Reply:
July 20th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Oh yeah, and another thing, that Star Child at the end of 2001. Can a baby even be that big? Or live in space? Should we be worried? Honestly, I think the whole thing really needed a kick ass fight with a couple of transforming cars or motorbikes. And funky accents. That would have been great.
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What’s with Yahoo Serious? And where is he now?
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