June 15: Those cult guys came around again today. I know they are in a cult because of the nametags, photocopied literature, and matching discount suits from Tip Top. I pretended I wasn’t home. I hate those cult guys. June 16: Cult guys are back, they knocked, and knocked, and knocked. They must have waited on the porch for twenty minutes. I think they stole my newspaper. I would never be an asshole like those newspaper thieving cult assholes. Do they know I'm home?
Hai Correctness Readers! LOLsies! Some of you guys sure seem to be in a real pickle about my emotional state! Golly wonkers, it sure is nice that you are all so concerned about my lovemeter readings, but I’m as pleased as a fry in a fish hatchery these days, I assure you! Just in case, I’ve collected a whole bunch of adorable images, and I’ve written some wholesome commentary for each one! Nothing political here, just good old fashioned warm feelings in your tummies. A basket of puppies! If they were a basket of apples, I’d pick them for a pie- OF KISSES! Delightful.
I'm out for a walk! What a perfect night for this. Lilac in the air. Oh, shit. Goddamn it. A truck mounts the curb. Assholes! Easy to spot them. Seatbelts unbuckling. They check for cops and see none. This looks bad for me. Truck with a Hemi That is a big engine, boys. compensating for...?
“One of you”, said Inspector Harris to the group that had gathered in the library, “strangled Sir Anthony here in this very room!”
Time for some Superteam Smackdown, live from the The Correctness's new Herodome, located in sunny downtown Newville. The tailgates are up, the beer is cold, the snacks are carby, it's time for some smackdown! We have 8 classic superhero teams fighting it out to see who can claim the title. This week, we have DC's Justice League taking on Marvel's first family, The Fantastic Four. Find out who wins within!