Some Suggestions for the Now Vacant Oscar Hosting Job

It seems that Eddie Murphy, in a show of solidarity for a douchebag will no longer be hosting the Oscars.

I can’t say that I’m sad, especially after last years debacle. Thanks Academy, for dragging my beloved Anne Hathaway through the mud with your crappy writing and pairing her up with a stoned co-star who apparently thought he was supposed to host it ironically.

Alright fine, maybe she wasn’t really up for it either, but damned if she didn’t look good trying. It’s like I said before…nobody had looked that good on a sinking ship since Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Let me help you out with a list of names I posted on facebook after that first disaster, just as a friendly reminder. You don’t have to drag poor Billy Crystal out of retirement…there’s plenty of good talent around. So for your consideration…

(Feel free to mix and match these hosts, there could be some good combos here!)

1. Tina Fey

- Just adding her to the writing process would make the whole thing 10 times better. You still have the eye candy, she’s got great timing and comes from an improv background so she’s fast on her feet and knows how to keep a show rolling.

2. Steve Carell -

Probably make a great partner for Tina if you thought she needed one. Has a great deadpan, has been hilarious on many an award show before. and It’s not like he’s busy with a TV show right now.

3. Craig Ferguson

- Stop worrying about whether or not people will understand the accent, nobody understood Kirk Douglas, that didn’t seem to bother you any. Craig keeps it free and loose and funny 5 days a week. He is one of the BEST talk show hosts out there today

4. Neil Patrick Harris.

He’s already got Emmy’s and Tony’s under his belt…give him his Award Show Host EGOT. It would be Legen…wait for it…dery.

5. Justin Timberlake

Tbinnsin for the Ladies, y’all!

If you insist on young and hip…try for someone who is actually pretty funny. For a boy band reject.

Oh Robbie RobTown I’m glad you’re here we need an undercard for…waaaaiiit a minute…

6. Sandra Bullock

- Both times I’ve seen her at the oscars she seems funny, relaxed and totally cool. Plus she’s one of the biggest stars in Hollywood

7. Patton Oswalt-

Okay that’s the real longshot… Yes, he looks like Toad from the John Byrne X-Men, but you aren’t going to find a bigger movie buff to host.

8. Conan O Brien

…yes he would bring nothing but goofiness to the proceedings but has it occurred to you that you are probably taking yourself a bit too seriously anyway? Conan might just be what you need.

9. Ricky Gervais.

Whatsamatter academy…chicken?

So there you go. Nine just off the top of my head. Remember COMEDIANS FIRST before you go tarnishing the sterling reputations of girls who have large pretty Disney Princess eyes. And for God’s sake FIRE Bruce Valanche!

Add yours to the list below.

6 Responses to “Some Suggestions for the Now Vacant Oscar Hosting Job”

1. Tbinns says:

   November 9, 2011 at 4:42 pm

   These pictures gave me an Idea…The Correctness Movie…Starring Bruce McCollough as Admin Rock, Justin Timberlake as Robbie Robtown and Patton Oswalt as Tbinns

     Tbinns(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • Tomass says:

     November 10, 2011 at 7:54 am

     Oooooh! And Ving Rhames can play me!

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2. deepfriedcheese says:

   November 9, 2011 at 7:19 pm

   I have no objections to any of these ideas, but there is a problem here that needs to be addressed. Overall this post is a huge sausage-fest. The Hathaway-Oswalt ratio in particular is pathetically low at 1 to 1. I’ve come to expect more from you.

     deepfriedcheese(Quote)  (Reply)

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3. admin_rock says:

   November 10, 2011 at 4:29 pm

   We should do a “casting couch” thing, where each of us cast the others using celebs.

   Oh, except we’d have to represent Benji somehow, and I don’t like posting pictures of tiny, pus encrusted cocks.

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   • deepfriedcheese says:

     November 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

     @admin_rock, Who gets to be played by Steve Buscemi? Or for the time machine entry, Jack Elam?

       deepfriedcheese(Quote)  (Reply)

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4. Tipper says:

   November 11, 2011 at 11:41 am

   I heard the muppets are being considered as hosts…could be a rumor, but that would be pretty awesome.

     Tipper(Quote)  (Reply)

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