Requiem For Airplane

DECEMBER FIFTH: ENSLAVEMENT Finally, a day where the heading matches the actual date on which the article is posted! Perhaps, when I stop my foolish habit of relying on others, this will become a more likely occurrence. But really, what kind of self-respecting public library closes at 8:00 p.m. on a Monday? Had I known I was going to have to break in to write this article, I would have brought my glass cutter. But of course, I didn't, so I had to throw a garbage can through the window.

Even though many of your people have never yet been enticed by the subtle delicacy that is Nerd Love, in time, you will find yourself inexplicably tempted. You will find yourself drawn to nerds like a moth to a plasma stream, or , possibly, a flame. We will draw you in with our intense passion for very specific things, we will draw you in with our charming inability to admit to being wrong about said things, we will draw you in with our extensive collections of things- Come to think of it, I’m not sure what our exact appeal is, but every year more and more non nerdy people find themselves suddenly and inextricably attracted to nerds, and you will need some advice. Oh- even if you didn’t need advice, we are going to give you some advice, rest assured of that if nothing else. Advice will be given, and you can smile quietly to yourself and tell us to go back to our RPGs. How does one seduce a nerd, you ask yourself? That’s easy. Offer it sex. Did it refuse? It did? In all likelihood, you may have some serious work to do then.