Clap for the Wolfman: A Correctness Halloween Special

So, I’m watching the original Lon Chaney jr. “Wolf Man” last night and couldn’t help but notice a few things that I would like to share with you, in the spirit of Halloween and all.

1. Near the beginning of the film, Larry Talbot actually uses a telescope to peer into a young woman’s room. As it turns out, this action is significantly creepier/scarier that anything else that goes on in the movie.

2.I didn’t know that Bela Lugosi was in this movie. He played a Gypsy, named Bela by what I am am sure is purely coincidence. At no point did he call anyone a Limey Cocksucker.Not even Claude Rains, who clearly was one. Imagine my disappointment.

3. According to the movie, the Werewolf would know who his next victim would be , because he’s see a pentagram on them. Which means he has probably attacked at least one Rush fan by mistake.

4.At no point is the full moon mentioned. He just changes every night for a week or so. And in that time he killed just ONE guy. and it looked like he strangled the guy. Not sure why he’d go to the trouble of growing claws and fangs if all he was going to do was choke a bitch.

5. When Larry transforms into the beast the first time he was wearing an undershirt and tan pants. Then in the next scene the wolf man was wearing a completely different outfit. That means AS THE WOLF MAN he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and said, “No no no, that won’t do at all” and changed clothing. He decided that if one was going to go out- a -manglin’ on a foggy night, then one ought to have a shirt buttoned all the way up to the top, and a completely different pair of pants. Hence the line “I’d like to meet his tailor” I suppose. But his hair was perfect.

6. Despite all of this, it’s still pretty fun, which is evidently more than can be said for the remake.

Author: Tbinns

Tony is a stand up comedian. Tony is a writer. Tony is a sketch comedian. Tony defines himself by what he does. This is due to poor self esteem. He is horribly opinionated and prone to boogers.

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