The Monday Motivator

Another TV related post today. You know those people who say "I don't watch TV", while looking down their noses at you? Well, f*ck those people. I'm TV's bitch. TV and I love each other, and YOU CAN'T STOP OUR LOVE!!!! ABC has released their trailer for a new series called "Last Resort". It passed the Admin_Rock test for watch-worthiness pretty quickly. It's Exec producer is Shawn Ryan, of The Shield fame. It stars Andre Frickin Braugher, who I would watch reading a grocery list. (I've been rewatching the first couple of seasons of Homicide lately. Braugher is fantastic.) It takes place on a tropical island. It has submarines.

Recently, as our regulars know, we went to universities all over North America and asked for essays to be entered into a new contest just for surly teen freshmen. Almost no entries were posted, save only this highly offensive submission from "Billy, Age 18". We weren't going to share it, but then... Please be warned, this inexplicable rant contains NSFW language.

(Intern Ellis upstages all by actually filing an article. Admin_Rock posts it a day late). DECEMBER FIRST: INTRODUCTION Ah, December. That wonderful time of year when we set down our quarrels, pick up a mug of hot cocoa, sit by the Shaw fire log and turn on our favourite Christmas album, Christmas with the Chipmunks. And if that’s not your favourite Christmas album, turn off your computer.

Dearest Readers: You know, if you're just generally angry at everything like I am, especially at Fox "news", then you are often at a loss, in the moment, to specify what is bothering you about someone or their infuriating statements. How many times have you been enraged but incapable of explaining, at the time, what has enraged you? It happens to me constantly. Once I've had a few days to determine what conceptually profane or illogical propaganda disgusts me, I'm too far out of the offending conversation (or news item) to fix things. Climate change doesn't exist! There is no such thing as poverty! The Bible says you can't have asian friends! What? None of that makes sense, but I think I've heard all of that. Thus, I present to you, a list of multi-purpose complaints that can be printed and kept in your pocket for just such an occasion. You will not have to recall a single detail of the troublesome stupidity you encountered, simply read this statement, and claim your right to be logical later.

Dear Square Enix: I have a couple questions about Kingdom Hearts. 1. Why in your advertising do you pronounce "385/2 days" "three-eight-five days over two", when logically it would be "three hundred eighty five over 2 days" or even more logically "192.5 days"?