An Open Letter to K1LLR478

Dear K1LLR478:

I’m writing you to express my distaste for how you handled our encounter in Call of Duty 4 this past Tuesday evening. Yes, I admit that you managed to sneak behind me and kill me with a single shot. However, I think it was both inappropriate and disrespectful to grind your avatar’s crotch on my corpse’s face, while calling me a name.

I can assure you I am not, in fact, a new player. I’ve been playing Call of Duty for a number of years, and have managed to develop considerable skill in the game. So, you can understand my surprise when you called me a “(expletive) noob”. Further, bringing my mom in to the issue was completely uncalled for. You have never met my mother, and know nothing about her. So calling her character in to question by claiming that she “sleeps around” (my words), completely invalidates any point you might be trying to make. It is you who ends up looking foolish, K1LLR478. I’m sure you’ll be a bit bashful and sullen when you learn that my mother has been faithful to my father for over 3 decades. I suspect this lesson will change your attitude towards others online in the future.

Now, before I go further, I also need to point out that while you claimed to have “powned me” (whatever that means?), my team ended up winning the match in question, and I suspect that was due to your spending more time making racist and sexist comments to me, instead of supporting your team. I think you might do better in the future if you, say, provide suppressive fire for one of your teammates, instead of claiming that I fellate my dog (I don’t even HAVE a dog! You’re really not helping yourself here).

Perhaps you should consider making more comments of a positive nature. For instance, when you defeat an opponent, you could say something like “Good effort, that was fun”, or “Keep trying, you’ll succeed yet!” instead of making up things about people, or using excessive vulgarity.

In closing, thank you for proving a worthy opponent on the field of battle, but perhaps you might make an effort, as I do, to emulate the soldiers you portray in the game, and have a bit more respect for yourself and those around you, and you might find your day gets a bit brighter.

Yours,

BNICER12

5 Responses to “An Open Letter to K1LLR478”

1. 1/4 20 says:

   October 27, 2010 at 1:48 pm

   i suspect this is all because you got pwned you (explicative) n00b. suck it up and try harder, dont whinge about it

   keep trying and one day you will write good comedy

   (see what i did there, i took your advice to write constructive criticism)

     1/4 20(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • Tbinns says:

     October 27, 2010 at 3:54 pm

     I feel I should remind you that the insult contest is for the Smackdown comments only…this insult while deep and insightful, was a complete freebie on your part.

       Tbinns(Quote)  (Reply)

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   • admin_rock says:

     October 27, 2010 at 8:01 pm

     This is a work of fiction, admin_rock don’t play no Call of Duty 4. In fact, I had to look up the title to see which version would be appropriate.

     However, I will humbly accept your comedic slander, you f%^king n00b.

       admin_rock(Quote)  (Reply)

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2. Maberso says:

   October 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm

   As much as we like to flame the stories posted here, head over to the WOW forums and watch the pros. People with no life hating on someone for nothing more that being alive; while supporting their video game habit through unemployment checks and welfare.

   and well done 1/4 20.

     Maberso(Quote)  (Reply)

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3. Scott Covert says:

   October 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm

   Video game bullies….Meh…

   There was this guy that punched me in the face for just standing in line at the bus stop in HS.

   That “Single shot in the back” is giving me an idea… [sniff sniff].

     Scott Covert(Quote)  (Reply)

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