Dear Correctness Readers:
A lot of people ask us how we here at The Correctness can generate so much fresh content, ensuring that so much of our written effort is largely ignored by the people we hope read our articles, like Henry Kissinger or Emma Stone. "How can you generate so much fresh, funny content?" those people ask us, redundantly, "That could be enjoyed by Henry Kissinger for example, or Emma Stone, perhaps?" they continue, reiteratively.
Well, the secret to our success, apart from my stunning good looks, is filler.
Oh, hey, Dawn Soap.
Um, so I think it's great you can be used to scrub crude oil off of ducks, and stuff.
Um, but, um, do you need to be used to scrub simulated oil off of real marine animals in your ads?
DECEMBER FIFTH: ENSLAVEMENT
Finally, a day where the heading matches the actual date on which the article is posted! Perhaps, when I stop my foolish habit of relying on others, this will become a more likely occurrence. But really, what kind of self-respecting public library closes at 8:00 p.m. on a Monday? Had I known I was going to have to break in to write this article, I would have brought my glass cutter. But of course, I didn't, so I had to throw a garbage can through the window.
Guess who’s coming to The Calgary Comic Expo? Yes, Leonard Nimoy, but besides him? Yes, Malcom Macdowell, Erin Grey, Billie Dee Williams Brent Spiner…yes they are all very good…but who would you really LIKE to see there, live and in person?
No Not Tamoah Pinkett, you jackasses, US!
The Correctness will be doing Superhero Smackdown LIVE. Fear not, you will not bear witness to us in tights doing some sort of Justice League LARPing, it will be a lively comedic debate, with plenty of opportunity to talk back and voice your opinion.
So come out and hurl invectives at us in person for a change.
We are in Panel Room D at 5:00 on April 24th…visit Calgaryexpo.com and book your tickets.
Good news everyone! We have excerpts from the 2009 guidebook to Middle Earth!
Staying in the Barrow Downs:
Accommodations are available, but dusty at best. If your room has a barrow wight, you'll want to put in a call to Tom Bombadil, his songs are the strongest.
While the weather on the downs itself is temperate, the weather inside the barrows tends to be clammy and chilled. You probably don't need rain gear, as the thought of returning to the surface will be overwhelmed by the soul-sucking desire to stay where you are and die.