Open Letter to Morrigan from Dragon Age Origins
Posted by Tbinns | Posted in Correctness | Posted on 05-01-2010
Tags: Dragon Age: Origins, Morrigan, my pathetic life, open letters, Videogames
2
Dear Morrigan,
You are a Grade A Bitch.
Every time I try and pick up an item you stand too close and I end up talking to you when I have other things to do. You complain when I ask you to do anything. You give me bad advice. You are arrogant and snide and I have to put up with it because you are apparently the only mage I’m going to get.
You disapprove of everything I do, and give me morale minuses up the ying yang unless I shower you with gifts. I actually told you you were a bitch once, and got even more minuses. You walk around in your little half top like you own Ferelden and treat me like dirt.
You are a stuck up, self important snotty little bitch goddess.
I think I love you.
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She Stops being such a Bitch if you Give her A) Flemeth’s (WOST FANTASY NAME EVER) Book, which you get by constantly asking your Malbari to find you shit or if you give her but then you have to fight on of those freaking impossible dragons B) a Golden Mirror Available in Ozzumar cause apparently she has a back story about a mirror that I may or may not have X buttoned my way through. Also If you go to the tower of Magi you can get an Kindly old lady who appears to be dripping dirt, who like any good mage party member spends the entire battle in a corner healing herself and using all your goddamn healing items no matter how much you toggle with her “Don’t use all the freaking items”buttons, While Morrigan Can turn in to a freaking bear. So its between Sexy Bear Mage or Frail Dirty Mage, I think they made the choice so obvious so that bioware wouldn’t have to animate the old bitch in to any cut scene scenarios. Wow that was long.
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BRAVOOO
)))
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