Dear Generation Y, or more specficially, those of you who work the drive-thru window:
Shut the fuck up. Seriously. Ask me what I want, and then, here’s the tricky part: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Wait, and actually listen while I tell you what I want to order.
I know you’re all special, and unique, and a pretty snowflake, and beautiful in every single way, but neither of us is getting anywhere faster if you keep interrupting me, usually to incorrectly repeat what you THINK I said, because you were more worried about who’s getting booted from Idol tonight, or what Lady GaGa is up to.
Two instances from recent memory:
Me: I’d like a kid’s cone in a cup, with sprinkles, (IS THAT ALL), no, and a Medium Oreo blizzard, (IS THAT ALL?)no, and a medium Strawberry Arctic Rush. (IS THAT ALL?) That’s all.
(I HAVE A KIDS DIPPED CONE, A MEDIUM OREO BLIZZARD), etc…..
Me: No, a Kid’s Cone in a cup, with ($9.25 PLEASE DRIVE THROUGH)
Me: I will most likely stab you through the eye with the incredibly long plastic spoon you might remember to give me.
Me: I’d like an Egg McMuffin meal, with NO meat, with a Diet Coke as the drink, and a Blueberry Muffin.
(THAT WAS A BACON AND EGG McMUFFIN?)
Me: No, it was NO MEAT. (Thought: How the fuck did you get that from what I said?)
(OH DID YOU WANT THE WHOLE MEAL?)
Me: Umm, yes.
(DO YOU WANTANYTHING OTHER THAN THE MEAL?)
Me: Just a gun so I can kill one of the two of us, probably me.
Maybe if they made drive-thrus work on facebook, or twitter, or such, you’d get it right. As it is, your attention span is only 140 characters long, so no one under the age of 24 is still reading this. We can speak freely. Those guys suck, hey? You remember the Sony Walkman? Those were cool. Especially the bright yellow Sports ones. I had one of those.