It’s Coming…
You can feel it in the air.
Like the sour sweet wind that blows, and denotes that Halloween is , in fact, Grinch night.
It’s subtle, so small if you weren’t paying attention you’d almost miss it. But nevertheless it’s there.
Dogs are looking nervously to the horizon. There’s a higher percentage of sick days being reported…as if a collective very bad feeling is occurring world wide.
The Mayan calendar predicted it to a 1/100th percentile accuracy, although they deny it as an aberration.
In Upstate New York…a women cannot comfort her crying child.A Homeless man in Chicago committed suicide, by hanging himself off of a bridge, his cardboard sign pinned to his shabby overcoat. It bears a simple message. “Not Again.”
The message boards on Fark are angrier than usual, anxious, even as if they can feel it happening too.
And far away, on a porch, an old married couple feels it.
GEORGE: You smell that , Mother?
ENID: Sure, do George.
GEORGE: Yep. My bones don’t lie.
ENID: No they do not.They never do.
GEORGE: Smackdown’s comin.
Prepare ye…for it cometh as surely as the snows of the Canadian winter.
The Smackdown returns this fall.
TOPIC: Movie Heroes. No Super Powers allowed. Want your favorite included? Now is your chance. Leave us a comment and let us know who you want in.
(Admin Rock): We’re thinking right now that it should be movie heroes who have also been in more than 1 film, in order to give us a good sample of their powers. (TV appearances ok).
Prediction: “Prediction?” “Yes, prediction” “….PAIN!”
28 Responses to “It’s Coming…”
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Dear Jessica 6:
As the unmarried 1/3 of The Correctness, I am still seeking a Hot Spacewife to get Spacemarried to. I would also approve of a Vampirewife, or a FantasyFictionwife, but I’m mostly looking for a Hot Spacewife. Probably not a superhero wife, they always seem a bit conflicted.
While I know that you are just a character in a movie, and in real life you are Jenny Agutter, and you have had a long career as a respected professional actor, and you are in your fifties (not that 25 years is insurmountable), I would like to leave that aside for a moment.
Saw Captain America last night. Very well done, a not so comic book-y comic book movie. Here's a deleted scene from late in the film (No Spoilers).
Admin_Rock here. One of our regular contributors, cub reporter Keith brings us an exclusive interview with a completely made up Robert Redford. Enjoy!
Your daily motivational poster from the Correctness. You are welcome.
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Jackie Chan in any of his Hong Kong films.
intellectualtheft(Quote) (Reply)
I like Jackie, and as he’s named “Jackie” in most of his films, he fits the requirements.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
Are we going to be excluding Batman? That seems a little unfair if you have Han Solo going up against Batman.
Well, I guess it kind of depends on which actor is playing Batman. Han wouldn’t stand a chance against a Bale Batman. I have a feeling Clooney Batman and Han would just decide to go pick up chick in Mos Eisely. Kilmer Batman would just be a fat guy in a suit at this point so I think Han could win. Keaton Batman just got shot and fell down a lot, so I think Han definitely wins.
spcMike(Quote) (Reply)
@spcMike, Lolz. My wife had the same thought last night.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
I love all the smackdowns, but I feel it proper to ask “Isn’t it a bit pointless to suggest to you 50+ names of various heroes for you to put in a smackdown just so we can see how Han Solo and Indiana Jones end up facing each other in the final?”
I’m looking at YOU Tbinns.
Matthew M(Quote) (Reply)
@Matthew M, It’s always tricky with these things. Do you separate the heavyweights, in which case people claim you’re “fixing” the bracket, or do you randomly decide, in which case, you might have an awesome first round with a lackluster finish.
Oh, and for my dollar, Solo is a pussy.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
@admin_rock, uhh what was that last bit about Captain Solo? I’m sure Chewie would like you to repeat it before he rips your arms out of your sockets
Tbinns(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns, Oooh, he’s so tough he needs a wookie to do his fighting for him.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
@admin_rock, work smarter, not harder.
Tbinns(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns, Solo will get dropped like a brick in the smackdown. He’s not so awesome in a close up fight, and if you think the Wookie gets to be involved, you’re dreaming.
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns, I’m wondering about inclusion of Indiana Jones. He is apparently indestructible when equipped with a refrigerator
CubReporter(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns,
Umm I think you mean General Solo.
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
@Tomass, Oh yeah… I suffer from Ewok Induced Amnesia…forgive me.
Tbinns(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns,
That will happen.
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
Okay so I MAY have named my first born son after Harrison Ford (The middle name anyway) but that doesn’t mean it will DEFINITELY be an all Ford Final
Tbinns(Quote) (Reply)
@Tbinns, What we need is a completely Harrison Ford Smackdown. There we can finally learn which Harrison Ford is the Smackdowniest. Will it be Han? Will it be Jack Ryan? Will it be Deckard? Or will it be Indy.
Who will win? No one can say. The only thing we know for sure, RobbieRobTown still won’t find anyone to love him.
spcMike(Quote) (Reply)
@spcMike, President Harrison Ford faces off against fat pasty Harrison Ford from “Six Days Seven Nights”. Shit just got Reeeeeeal!
admin_rock(Quote) (Reply)
@spcMike,
WIN!
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
@spcMike,
Further you could also run an all Schwarzenegger Smackdown.
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
No one has noted the obvious yet…
ASH!
He may win by much punishment he can take alone. YAY attrition!
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
If there’s a points category for “sidekicks” than Han jumps ahead while Indy gets completely screwed.
Seriously, Shortround and Mutt? F*** those guys.
keith(Quote) (Reply)
Bond. James Bond.
Hell, Bond should fill up an entire DIVISION with bracket slots for Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan and Craig.
Kevin(Quote) (Reply)
John. Fuckin’. Rambo!!!!!
El-Ahrairah(Quote) (Reply)
John Fucking McClain
Rocky Fucking Balboa
Conan The Muthafuckin Barbarian
fuck
Homer(Quote) (Reply)
Shaft
Mahatma Gandi
John Preston (Christian Bale, Equilibrium)
Dirty Harry Callahan
Lee, Enter the Dragon
Inigo Montoya
Spartacus
William Wallace
The Karate Kid
Sarah Connor
Ellen Ripley
Gilette(Quote) (Reply)
@Gilette,
Ya! Fuck Ya! ELLEN FUCKING RIPLEY!
RIPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
Tomass(Quote) (Reply)
Are weapons and other gear allowed? They would give a huge edge to sci-fi heroes over fantasy/modern day. And no one can beat a fully geared up Batman, but take away his utility belt and he’s pared down to the level of the other martial artists. Actually, Batman with a utility belt is unbeatable, but so is Jackie Chan with a ladder, so if gear is allowed you’re just going to end up with a draw.
Gilette(Quote) (Reply)
Snake Plissken (Escape from New York)
Leon (Leon/The Professional)
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Aragorn (Lord of the Rings)
Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)
RoboCop (RoboCop)
Iron Patriot(Quote) (Reply)