Classic Vaudeville: Robot and Costello

Dear Dickhole: All I was trying to do was buy a superhero T Shirt at a comic book convention. Let me recap our conversation for you: You: (plausibly friendly) Does anyone need a hand with anything? Me: Yes, actually, I could use a hand. I don’t suppose you have any shirts in a size small? You: (turning slightly) No Man, we never do, we just never – not at the conventions. Me: Oh. I see. But you have an online store, is that right? You: (getting douchey) Yeah, but you’ll never bother me there. Me: I beg your Pardon? You: (douchier still) I said you’re never gonna bother me there Man. Me: I see… You: (getting your shovel) Yeah, cause in the last 5 years I have had, like, 2 orders for size small stuff. Me: Look, it’s okay, I’ll move on… You (digging a trench for the battle): Yeah, and you know what’s wrong with you small people?

ACTION SMACKDOWN! This week, Indiana Jones vs. Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley vs. RobbieRobTown's insane ramblings that you will no doubt hate more than usual.

Gerald McAfferty had a very normal life. He was a claims adjuster, for a large insurance company. He lived in Ohio, and had never left the state. When he finished high school, with near perfect grades, he went immediately to university. After he completed his degree, he was hired directly to the job which he held to this day. He lived alone, in a one bedroom apartment, and ate his lunch all alone every day. Life was quite predictable for Gerald, until his 31st birthday. Soon after that forgettable day, Gerald heard the call of the sea for the first time.

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Superhero Smackdown! Friday Night Fight! Here at The Correctness SportsishNetwerkkz, we offer our be-all-end-all absolutely correct answers on which superheroes would win in a fight. Marvel? DC? Watchmen as distributed by DC? Spongebob Squarepants? It’s a 16 superhero smackdown to find one final winner! The playoffs continue this week in the Pengrowth Deathdrome.