Superhero Smackdown 8: Kitty Pryde vs. Deadpool
Posted by The Correctness | Posted in Comics, Superhero Smackdown | Posted on 02-10-2009
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Superhero Smackdown!
Friday Night Fight!
Here at The Correctness SportsishNetwerkkz, we offer our be-all-end-all absolutely correct answers on which superheroes would win in a fight. Marvel? DC? Watchmen as distributed by DC? Spongebob Squarepants? It’s a 16 superhero smackdown to find one final winner! The playoffs continue this week in the Pengrowth Deathdrome.
Dave:
This one is personal, as Kitty and I were the same age once. She’s arguably aged better, and much more slowly than I have. I had a major comic book crush on young Sprite. After the mess that was the Mutant Massacre, she moved to England, and we lost track of each other. But I digress. Kitty is insanely powerful. The ability to become incorporeal, to be able to grab and hold on to things while she does it, and the fact that she’s been trained as a ninja make her pretty damn tough. Plus, she’s a freaking genius to boot. And hot, don’t forget hot. Oh, and she has a fire-breathing dragon.
Deadpool, is the darling of the internet crowd, who hold him up as the funniest thing to happen to comics since Lobo. And I suspect he’ll age as well. Deadpool is about as funny as Tru Blood is well written, which is not at all. Oh look, he broke the fourth wall again!!! How original!!!
Also, he was created by Rob Liefield, which should almost disqualify him from the bracket. Liefeld ushered in the age of Cable, which ruined the X-men for about a decade. The damage was of a magnitude unequaled, though Grant Morrison did his best to achieve it recently. Okay, so we can’t exclude Deadpool for not being funny, and we can’t exclude him because of his lineage. He is an excellent assassin, and very creative and inventive. He has a healing factor (and who the hell doesn’t in teh Marvel Universe these days?) and can handle a lot of damage.
Here’s the lowdown. The genius cancels out the assassin smarts. Both of them are capable of adjusting and rolling with the punches. But about 8 minutes into the fight, Kitty grabs Deadpool, carries him about 300 feet into the earth, and lets him go. He probably survives that, so she phases a grenade into his chest, which he also survives. Finally, she phases him out of contact with the rotation of the planet, flinging him into space. He probably survives, but at least we don’t see him for a while (ironic, considering Kitty’s current plight.)
TONY
DEADPOOL: Heeere Kitty Kitty Kitty! I have a nice hamburger phone for youuuuu come and get it….Kitty can haz cheezburger phone…
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: As Deadpool taunts her with not one but two references she doesn’t understand Shadowcat steps into the light…taut, patient ready for…
DEADPOOL: Hey, Little Yellow Box! I LOVE this guy. Wait till I go all Killy McKillerton on this chick and we’ll do lunch
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: Not so fast Deadpool, you aren’t in a comic book anymore.
DEADPOOL: I’m not?
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: No, I would have thought the lack of pictures would have given it away…
DEADPOOL: I thought maybe I was in a script for a Broadway musical written by U2
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: You wish. No, you are in a superhero tournament run by 3 nerds on an obscure pop culture/humor site.
DEADPOOL: Well then I totally got this. Fanboys LOVE me!
PRYDE: Are we going to do this or what?
DEADPOOL: I WILL BREAK YOU LIKE THE FOURTH WALL, BITCH!!! I will be WITH you in a MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!GEEEZ!!!!
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: Well, you already have one vote against you…
DEADPOOL: What? HOW? Wait a minute, these aren’t the idiots who said Spider-Man could beat Green Lantern are they?
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: They made a few good points…
DEADPOOL: Did you show them the Shoryuken picture?
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: They’ve seen it. They weren’t impressed.
DEADPOOL: But, “Bitch went down”
PRYDE: (On the Hamburger phone) Professor, I’m going to be late. Deapool is busy being (air quotes)“Hilarious”. I know….ugh. Don’t hold dinner.
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: Maybe they just weren’t impressed with your performance in “X-Men Origins Wolverine.”
DEADPOOL: THAT WASN’T ME!!! That was uhh…Deathstroke
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: The character’s name was Wade Wilson.
DEADPOOL: I’m the Merc with the Mouth. Can’t be the Merc with the mouth without a mouth.
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: I hear they are making a sequel called X-Men Origins: Bend over, Deadpool
DEADPOOL: That is NOT….(Kitty phases in, grabs his heart, pulls it out) HEY!!! I NEED THAT!!!
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: Okay, well go sort that out, while I talk to the readers . Hey everyone. Tony Binns here. You might know me from such articles as 25 things wrong with the Star Wars Universe and Hamlet’s Daytimer. Today I played the part of Little Yellow box in Deadpool versus Kitty Pryde.
Please, hold your applause.
The problem we are presented with is how does a killing machine kill someone that can’t be touched? And how does someone who can’t be touched mete out justice to a killing machine with a healing factor?
The other problem of course is that comic book logic and physics are more flexible than the average Cirque performer. The extent of Kitty’s powers can be increased and decreased according to the story’s need, same with Deadpool. Do the physics state she can rip someone’s heart out? Some say yes, some say no. Can she phase out so fast she can dodge bullets? Some would argue yes, but that picture of Deadpool clocking her one seems to say otherwise.
I went into this thing starting to worry that Kitty can’t be hit EVER, and that would be everybody’s ass, including Superman. But I just keep coming back to that damned picture. He clocked her one. He landed one and she was out cold. One punch. I mean if we aren’t taking ACTUAL comics as canon, then what is?
So… it is that picture, as well as Deadpool generally being more entertaining that has me give this one to Deadpool.
How? Well maybe he breaks the 4th wall and the third dimension and assassinates the guy drawing her. I don’t know. All I know is he Shoryukened her good and she went down, so I can’t give it to her.
DEADPOOL: Ha! I knew it! Fanboys never let me down! Now pardon me while I count all these unhatched chickens…
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Rob is up next.
DEADPOOL: Guys named Rob and me go waaay back! One last thing though…why am I wearing Mickey Mouse ears?
LITTLE YELLOW BOX: Long story. I’ll tell you later.
Rob:
Okay everyone, we read and approve all the fan comments and I’m siding both with the fans and myself on this one. Remember when the Flash was fighting, way back in the battle of the red suits? A major item of discussion at the time was the “you can’t hit something that isn’t there” matter. In fact I believe I suggested that the Flash could go incorporeal and leave a brick inside of Daredevil’s head. Now, while Kitty Pryde can’t time travel like the Flash can, it still comes down to this: You can’t hit something that isn’t there.
One of our fans suggested a perfectly valid course of action: Deadpool is standing around being all pissy and serious. Kitty Pryde is all ghostly and spooky, makes a quick dive at Deadpool, drags him into the centre of the earth, and leaves him there. Problem solved.
Now before you fans start criticizing our fans, or me for hiding behind our fans ( I’l edit this later and credit you, oh fan with a valid plan), the fundamental issue remains. You. Can’t. Hit. Something. That. Isn’t. There.
What of Deadpool being a skilled assassin? Couldn’t he lurk in a bell-tower, waiting for a fully corporeal Kitty Pryde to be shopping for teenage girl things, like, uh, whatever teenage girls buy like, uh, LA gear Sneakers, rubber bracelets and stirrup pants? Well, by the rules of our previous fights, no. Our heroes have some reason to be fighting, and are aware they are fighting to the death for the pleasure of , um, me.
So, no matter how mysterious and troubled Deadpool is, Kitty Pryde just has to grab Deadpool, take him somewhere shitty where his uber-healing factor isn’t quite enough (ie: centre of the earth), and leave him there. Deadpool, this might not be your kind of fight, but your Emo-darkness and troubled mind can’t help you here. You can’t punch a ghost.
Oh, comedy advice: Stop breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool, that is called a “gag” and it takes us out of the reality. It’s funny, but not in dramatic situations.
I’m giving this one to the Mobius Stripper, Kitty Pryde.
Runner up: The fourth wall that KP could pass through.
Second Runner up: Ellen Page
Winner: Shadowcat
So, that means we are headed toward the quarter finals, and here is what that looks like
Flash vs. Spider-Man
Batman vs. The Hulk
Wolverine vs. Shadowcat (Reluctantly, one assumes)
Wonder Woman vs. Superman (see above re: The participants feelings on the matter)
We’ll see you next week. Unleash thy vitriol. We’re big boys, we can take it.
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You guys seem to forget Deadpool’s teleportation device.
Kitty grabs him, drags him to the center of the earth. He teleports out and she realizes that she can’t get out from the center of the earth.
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Jon Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Kitty phases through teleporter, which malfunctions any electrical device. Deadpool then teleports half of self to other side of planet by mistake. Kitty always wins, suckers.
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Kitty grabs Deadpool or Kitty phases through the teleporter, which is it?
If she phases through the teleporter than she’d have to unphase to grab Deadpool, at which time Deadpool kills her.
If she grabs Deadpool, than he teleports out.
He’s not just sitting around waiting for his common sense to tingle.
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Cox Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Deadpool is immortal, so all he has to do is outlive her. Winner: Deadpool
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Umm you don’t “get left in the center of the earth” You’re molecules and earth molecules coexist at the same time which means electronics and healing factors stop working. The molecules would just bounce around like whoa and he’d be dead.
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Then her’s do as well. It’s not a phase out objects while leaving yourself phased-in nor a phase-in something you’ve phased-out while leaving yourself phased-out.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
WIKI: Currently, she is able to phase at least a half a dozen other people (or objects of similar mass) with her, so long as they establish and maintain physical contact with her.
Notice the maintain physical contact? She lets go he becomes solid and she doesn’t.
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
He grabs her as well then. Besides doesn’t water stop her from phasing? AKA what the Sentinels did.
Deadpool would turn this into a Wet T-Shirt contest.
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Can something grab you that is not there?
2 points
Kitty needs to phase back in to damage (grab) Deadpool
When they are both phased out shouldn’t he be able to hit her then.
Tony figured this out why could not the other two?
Deadpool wins
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Mags Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Yes. Thank you.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Tony’s assertion is flawed. See my response to SomeFarker below.
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Okay, I admit I’m not up to date on everything that Kitty could do. But.. At the point she grabs him and phase him to carry him off to such and such place… Couldn’t he just punch the shit out of her now that they are on the same phase of existence?
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Sure. He punches her and she leaves him only 3 miles under the earth rather than at the center.
Besides she could just “leave a brick in his head” and then pull him under the earth while he is healing.
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Deadpool 100% FTW
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Well, at least you fucking tried this week, Rob. Think of it as ‘earning’ a sperm sandwich.
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RobbieRobTown Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Yummers! You are my favourite, I don’t care what anyone says. Let’s get together for lunch some time?
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If Deadpool were to obtain adamantium weaponry, it would put him over the age. Shadow cats phasing ability causes crippling pain if she attempts to phase through the material.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
My opinion on wolvie vs kitty:
She could get a 12 foot poll and shove it up his ass from under ground and then let go. Adamantium, according to wiki, only causes pain if SHE passes through it or it through her.
Sure he’ll heal, but again while he is healing she can grab him, again only if she passes through a-tium so adamantium isn’t a problem, pull him into the earth, and let go.
Applies to deadpool as well.
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Kitty Pride can’t breathe while she’s phased. That has been established since before she left for England. So all DP has to do is stay out of her grasp for about 45 seconds and then shotgun her.
This one should be a no contest.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Couldn’t she bring a oxygen tank into her phased state and breath that?
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Deadpool would provide it for her, it’d be filled with laughing gas.
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Swagger Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I’m waiting for someone to address this. Because this seems pretty important to the discussion.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Sigh.
First 45 seconds? I thought she was in ninja not a 60 year old smoker.
Second, she just runs into another room breaths and then jumps him from below.
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Rob keeps saying “You. Can’t. Hit. Something. That. Isn’t. There.”, however Tony points out that Deadpool as previously hit Kitty Pryde in a comic.
Tony seemed to be on only one that took Comic Canon into consideration.
Also, if you go with Rob’s conclusion that “You. Can’t. Hit. Something. That. Isn’t. There.”, go ahead and end this as she will defeat anyone, since no one can hit her.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
What you’re not getting is that Tony also isn’t taking into consideration that this isn’t an “ambush” or “sucker punch” (re: Shoryuken!) situation , this is two super-beings in Thunderdome…Two Men Enter, One Man Leave! Kitty could literally toy with Deadpool forever – he has no special senses to detect where she’s going to pop up, while she has ninja senses (courtesy of a really bad mini-series) that can pinpoint his location even while she’s underground. Hey, don’t blame me for cheesy powers (like *ahem* teleport devices), blame the comics writers.
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RobbieRobTown Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Master Wizard, I like your brain talky things.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Why thank you, Mr. Town. I’m a big fan.
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Since we’re utilizing cheesy plot devices, Deadpool could simply teleport out of the “Thunderdome” and ambush her somewhere else after she gets bored of looking for him.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
LoL Adjusting the boundaries to bolster the strength of your argument, huh? You sure you’re not a politician, Net?
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Adapting to the situation as it presents itself is all. There are still 2 really cheesy plot devices that Deadpool has which haven’t been cited.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:21 pm
“ambush her somewhere”
Forgetting that “she has ninja senses (courtesy of a really bad mini-series) that can pinpoint his location even while she’s underground”? She wont be ambushed.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Oh, and also – Kitty is vunerable to psychic attack, adamantium, vibranium, and other incorporeal-type attacks while she’s phased, so she’s nowhere near unbeatable. She would, however, kick Deadpool’s arse.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Still think she could beat wolverine too. I doubt the writers will agree though.
She could get a 12 foot poll and shove it up his ass from under ground and then let go. Adamantium, according to wiki, only causes pain if SHE passes through it.
Sure he’ll heal, but again while he is healing she can grab him, again only if she passes through it so adamantium isn’t a problem, pull him into the earth, and let go.
Spawn would have been a WAY better match up and Flash is going to rock her world, so she isn’t end all be all.
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I’m just going to say this now….The Flash should win the whole thing…..oh and why would you put Shadowcat against Wolverine next? Won’t that end in damn near the same fashion as with the Deadpool fight?
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admin_rock Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Luck of the draw, rule of the bracket… must be done.
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Didn’t take long for all the Deadpool fanboys to start whining and bitching, did it? Kitty has to come into contact with something for a MILLISECOND for it to become incorporeal, like herself, so she can place it into solid matter and leave it there. Deadpool cannot fly, therefore parts of his body will be touching the floor at some point. Kitty has turned this trick dozens of times: 1) Phase into floor, 2) Grab foot, 3) Pull down, 4) Leave. She doesn’t have to bring him to the center of the Earth, just a couple of feet down – because once she releases him, he becomes solid again and is stuck in solid rock, concrete, earth, metal, etc. and would eventually suffocate. Only The Juggernaut has the power to escape a situation like that (see Amazing Spider-Man #129-130), and Deadpool ain’t no Juggernaut. Teleportation, you say? Since Kitty knows about his teleport device, it would take her all of 1 second to pass her hand through it and disrupt it. Besides, teleport devices are the cheesiest things ever (are you listening, comic book writers?).
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netweavr Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
You’re complaining about fans complaining on a site seemingly dedicated to complaining.
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RobbieRobTown Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
We also do delicious recipes!
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Who’s complaining? I think it’s HI-larious! Pointing out a happening is far from complaining, it’s just being cognizant. Oh, and you’re wrong – Deadpool loses this one. But don’t fret, his next match is against Speedball, The Masked Marvel.
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Funksultan Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Moar fail.
In a perfect world, the outcome is one thing, but in the attempted reality of comic book fiction, it’s quite different.
A look at people who Deadpool has bested, and a look at people who have trounced Kitty without effort gives the answer too easily.
Kitty’s power seems awesome, but the point is, there are a lot of limitations. She can only phase for as long as she can hold her breath, and he phasing is a conscious effort, so any number of surprise attacks would lay her out like lady Gaga on an extacy bender.
Get Stan Lee on the phone, ask him. Hell, ask anyone. Giving this match to Kitty is the biggest display of fanboidiocy as possible.
Hello Kitty kills Superman in the finals. There, I spoiled it, now everyone can stop reading what COULD HAVE been an interesting article series.
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Deadpool starts off the fight teleporting away from kitty to a vantage point where he can wait for her to pop out. Eventually she phases back in, he spots her, she dies. As soon as she went incorporeal, he’d bug out. Why would he let her come anywhere near him?
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Deadpoolwins, you and Mofo must now go off into a corner and stay there until you start making some sort of logical sense. There are so many flaws in your assertion that there is no assertion there, merely flaw. Kitty will not be seen by Deadpool unless she wants to be seen. Genius ninja-ghost girl vs. assassin with healing factor but no enhanced senses. The corner beckons.
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By that rationale why even have finals? Shadowcat just won. I think having her in this smackdown ruins it if you’re going to bend the rules so that she wins everytime.
Deadpool would be able to kill her by surprising her.
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BDiddy Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
This ^
/agree with it, I do.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Steve, look up… DeadpoolWins and Mofo are gesturing frantically for you to join them.
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Guy Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
You are kind of a douche. Also Deadpool is no slouch, he IS an assassin. You keep talking like Kitty’s “ninja” skills will outwit his every time. Not necessarily. He would find a way to get off the floor. I would give this to Kitty if she does everything totally right, but one mistake, even for a fraction of a second, and she looses. Also you are just a Kitty loving fool much like most of these guys love Deadpool. You are just as baised.
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Oliver Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I think MasterWizard has a crush on someone.
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so assuming this isn’t a ambush. how is shadowcat able to grab deadpool if he can see it coming? she’s a normal human while deadpool has super agility.
this is a tie until deadpool grabs some adamantium, at which point shadowcat is toast.
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MasterWizard Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Kitty is not a normal human, she’s a mutant. Homo Superior, not Homo Sapien. And beyond simple genetics, she’s had ninja training from the same sensei who taught Wolverine, psychic defense training taught by Professor Xavier, and hand-to-hand combat training by Wolverine. As for Deadpool seeing the attack coming… you are aware that Kitty phases through matter, yes? Next.
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wuts a DP? Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
too bad training can’t teach her super agility. deadpool is still faster by far.
and you are aware there is a substance called glass, yes? deadpool stands on glass, sees shadowcat coming from a mile away, runs around her til she’s out of breath while screaming bea arthur.
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Shadowcat should never have been in the brackets to begin with. She’s a character with teh Ghey. She better be killed off next round by Wolverine.
The logic that has her winning this round is going to have to be addressed or she wins the whole tournament, and I’ve wasted every Friday looking forward to the results.
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Mikhail Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Not to fear. If I remember right, she has a problem dealing with adamantium.
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Two things:
1. It’s canon, not cannon. Cannon shoots cannonballs.
2. You have 8 heroes left, therefore the quarterfinals, not semifinals are next. Unless the finals is a 4 hero deathcageladderfoldingchairslapfight
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Tbinns Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
My fault on both of those. Humiliated retro article cleaning soon to follow
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More and more I think about this, the more and more I think Deadpool turns it into a Wet T-Shirt contest, thereby preventing Kitty Pryde from phasing.
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Deadpool wins. Easy.
Kitty’s powers work by passing her atoms through the spaces between the atoms of the object through which she is moving.
Deadpool gets his hands on an atom smasher. Then he uses it to smash her phased head.
If you think an atom smasher is too big to cary, apply comic book logic and you’ve got a “gun” that can do the same.
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Greatness Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
This is how it would go down in any comic
Deadpool would get a hit requesting kitty be killed
Deadpool knows kitty he calls weasle and gets hooked up with a particle accelerator
They meet up and fight deadpool uses the particle accelerator and it doesnt work for some reason unknown and kitty beats on deadpool for a while
As kitty is beating deadpool she is tangable and during a killing blow deadpool takes the hit which he can heal from and hits kitty at the same time as she is tangable when she strikes.
Deadpool wins.
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deadpool is a nutcase. He always does what people least expect. Whats to stop him from blowing up both of them. Getting training from wolverine does not make you a winner in this fight. Deadpool has gone toe to toe with wolverine before on many occasions. Kitty has trained but has she gone up against a seasoned insane massmurdering mercenary with no problems about self mutilation to get the job done?
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The REAL problem here is that DAVE simply hates Deadpool and kills him off out of bias. I mean, c’mon!
Just cause YOU think he’s not funny (and he is damn funny, so get a sense of humor Dave) doesn’t mean you can cheat on these things.
Well okay, obviously it does mean you can, but it’s still lamesauce.
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admin_rock Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Is that the REAL problem? is it? the REAL? Problem? I didn’t cheat. This is my opinion. I think I even said that We couldn’t rule out Deadpool cuz I hated him, or cuz of Liefeld.
It’s just that Kitty’s way more badass.
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DP for the win. If its not an ambush then DP knows how Kitty is going to fight. He’s unpredictable. He’s bested Wolverine. He’s also a ninja when he has to be. He also has tech, teleporter and Weasel. Lets not forget about Bob from Hydra either. DP has duped Daredevil- who I think would have better senses than Kitty, beat down Wolverine- who can probably fight better than Kitty, and is completely insane. Why not tie himself to the ceiling so Kitty cant reach? He doesnt need to be on the floor. You guys have no out of the box thinking that is DP.
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admin_rock Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I believe Kitty is capable of walking on air, so that kinda wrecks your theory.
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Oliver Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Bear in mind, this fight is 1v1. Granted, Deadpool has a number of resources to draw upon, but if he can call Weasel, why can’t Kitty just call the X-Men?
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Agreed. Kittys fall is glass and water. Alot of people made mention to the fact that Kitty knows of Deadpools belt and would destroy it. Well that means Deadpools knows of her going ghosty and jets. It wouldnt take him long to figure out how to beat her.
Also, is there no water underground? If she pops up grabs him and pulls him down, she cant see where she is going and whos to say she doesnrt hit an underground water well. Then bam! Deadpool is back in action, shoots and slashes the shit out of her 1000ft underground and claws his way back out.
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admin_rock Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:52 pm
What is this talk of Kitty not being able to deal with water? I’m not aware of it. Perhaps I may have to bow down to your geekitude, but I couldn’t find any reference to it.
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Some Farker Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 am
Someone on Fark was saying the Sentinels captured Kitty Pryde originally by hitting her with Heavy Water. It was dense enough to fark up her phasing like adamantite.
Which doesn’t really make sense from a physics PoV, but then again her powers don’t make sense from a physics PoV.
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Rataru Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Everything about her says she can phase through solid objects. Gotta read between the lines my good sir.
I could get really geeky on you and explain molecules and how she supossedly rearranges them (sure you know) so to say but, Im at work.
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Rataru Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Sorry should have put emphasis on “SOLID” objests
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So, what, is this battle sans physics? Kitty phasing Deadpool out of contact with the rotation of the earth? How exactly does that work? Kitty phasing someone to the center of the earth? That’s a long walk.
This battle basically seems to come down to one superhero who can break physical laws, and one superhero that can’t, but has a lot of guns and bullets and witty repartee.
Realistically speaking, Deadpool can’t do anything to her. So he would try to escape so he could sneak attack her later. If she followed, he would attempt to lead her into a trap, such as being blindsided by a train or car when she happened to be solid. Ultimately, Deadpool wins, because he defers the fight until he can get a clean kill.
Unless, of course, she phases him into a gas tank and then lights a match… then gets more gasoline and pours it on him while he’s disabled… until there’s nothing left.
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I believe it’s been said, but Deadpool’s greatest weapon is his sheer insanity/unpredictability.
All he really has to do is strap a bomb to his chest and the minute he even FEELS Kitty try to do the drag-down trick (which phases him, and as she has no super-speed or the like, it’d take time to drag him) he detonates the bomb; trashing himself and as they’re both phased; likely killing her as well.
Only one of them has a healing factor that would allow a clean walk-away.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 5th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
She can phase a 12 foot pole up his ass from under ground and then let it go. While he is healing drag him then.
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Like Brittney Spears, Kitty Pride can over-come all things while not actually touching them. That includes an encounter with Deadpool.
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…pun intended.
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who the heck is kitty pryde? screw it, deadpool wins. kitty reminds me of that random xchick who floats thru walls anyways. i think she was in the cartoon. u cant copy other xdude powers, that is lame. even deadpool is guilty of that, but he’s cool so i give him a pass. he has swords
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As an avid manchild fan of comics (an admittedly stupid fan of Deadpool, despite his being a Deathstroke Ripoff), I thought I might do a better job arguing the point for Deadpool.
First off, I’d like to point out that Deadpool has had a history of pulling of squeaking victories of just about every popular(and obscure) Marvel character.
This list includes:
Juggernaut, Black Tom, Captain America, Wolverine, The Hulk, The entire new Thunderbolts, Sabertooth, all of which are a higher grade of threat than Ms. Pryde.
Also (links ahead!) Deadpool has Kitty hands down in “Ninja Skills”. Per a quote from the Marvel Wiki project “Deadpool himself is among the most skilled fighters in the Marvel universe.”
Deapool’s power list:
http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Wade_Wilson_%28Earth-616%29
Shadowcat’s:
http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Katherine_Pryde_%28Earth-616%29
Comparing the two shows that not only does Deadpool have more than enough physical prowess to put Kitty to shame, but he also has enough experience fighting mutants and heroes that should remarkably outclass him. This shows a presence of mind that can steer him out of many one sided situations.
That being said… he has a device that can project his likeness. Kitty comes up, becomes solid to grab him, her hand passes through the hologram, blammo, she’s dead the split second she realizes her bad. Bullet through the head.
I don’t blame you for not knowing much about Deadpool though, he’s been around for a long time, it’s just recently that he’s gotten popular.
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admin_rock Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
Ummm, off your high horse there, son. We know plenty about Deadpool, and we too know how to use the internet to look up wiki entries. We even figured out how to use wordpress.
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Drozart Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
“Since she was unable to breathe while “inside” an object, she could only continuously phase through solid objects (as when she traveled underground) as long as she could hold her breath. Denser materials were more difficult for Kitty to phase through, sometimes causing her pain. Solidifying while in an object could cause serious injury if not death.”
-http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Katherine_Pryde_%28Earth-616%29
How exactly does she drag him to the Earth’s core?
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wuts a DP? Reply:
October 5th, 2009 at 10:14 am
knowing the information and ignoring it is even more douche than not knowing.
anyways when moving through solid matter, kitty can only phrase for as long as she can hold her breath, so it’s probably impossible for her to drag deadpool to the center of the earth.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 5th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Like her walking on air trick, she doesn’t have to make her whole body solid, just the molecules that are going to touch him.
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“You. Can’t. Hit. Something. That. Isn’t. There.”
Yes, yes, we understand. We get it. But you know what? Deadpool gets it too. You don’t think he knows what Kitty’s powers are, as often as he’s tussled with the X-Men? He may not be the Batman, but he won’t go into battle completely blind. Like someone stated earlier, he’s probably more than willing to strap some explosives to himself to detonate the instant he feels his molecules get all tingly, and unlike Kitty, he can heal himself out of getting blown to bits.
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Okay…
Kitty can phase through stuff and is a trained ninja.
Deadpool is also a trained ninja/assassin, has a teleporter, better healing factor than Wolverine, greater than human strength and speed, is insane (insane, not stupid), and oh…immortal…
If anything, DP’s comic appearances highlight both his preparedness when dealing with a target and his unpredictability, so I really don’t think Kitty is going to take this one.
I’m sorry Kitty lovers, DP wins
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Ummm…..fight go
Kitty looks at deadpool
He sticks his tongue out at her (which she can’t see behind the mask but he thinks is hilarious)
He teleports
She phases
She looks for him
He’s on top of the building watching her look around
She starts to get pissed
Phases back in and pets her stupid dragon
He teleports behind her and slides his sword through her heart as he comes in.
He laughs and turns off the teleporter forgetting he’s not all the way through and loses a hand. He curses and her stupid dragon comes down and bites the rest of his arm off.
Deadpool curses again and uses his teleporter to get away and grow another day.
Dragon lives….but Deadpool still wins.
Deadpool wins.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 5th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
“He teleports behind her and slides his sword through her heart as he comes in.”
Her ninja sense kicks in and she phases instantly and turns. Note: She can phase from the time she hears a gun shot to the time the bullet hits.
Deadpool makes a witty remark.
She puts her hand in his head and leaves a rock or some other object in it.
While he is healing she pulls him into the earth and leaves him.
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Thrasher Reply:
October 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYhtIe9Rggo
It’s pretty much like that.
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wuts a DP? Reply:
October 7th, 2009 at 11:27 am
do you just imply ninja train makes you faster than super agility?
do you even read comics?
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Why doesn’t someone define how the matches start? If both contestants have to shake hands, Kitty kills his teleporter right then, and probably also takes out his communications in the same act of sportsmanship. Then, as someone else said, she only has to phase him down enough to make his head go underground. He can’t move, he can’t breath, but she doesn’t have to take him to the core of the Earth…
Not to give everything to her, DP is a clever man, he’ll figure out his tech has been removed from the equation…maybe he picked up some A-Metal from the guys who gave Wolverine his bones, and made him some special weapons, like maybe his swords or throwing stars…fight starts, he draws his sword she says “please…” and he swings. She thinks she can phase it, but takes a nasty hit early on…over-confidence could be a problem on both sides…
In the end, it would be Kitty, just because I doubt DP can get his hands on that much A-Metal without killing Wolverine first
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FYI, this wasn’t posted to the Comics or SuperHeroSmackdown categories, so I had to go searching for it. Is that fixable?
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admin_rock Reply:
October 6th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
It is fixable, and has been done. Thanks for spotting that.
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So it would seem that for Rob this contest is over: (And to some extent Dave though his write-up was at the very least entertaining)
Kitty Pryde WINS!
“it still comes down to this: You can’t hit something that isn’t there.”
By this logic every Super that faces her will loose. Super human agility, speed, strength ect. means nothing. Further you could say that she’d defeat even the Supers that she wouldn’t have the chance to face due to the tournament tree structure.
You know what I’ll just make your jobs simpler and write the reviews for the remaining battles (and even the battles that wouldn’t have a chance to happen)
The Flash Vs Kitty Pryde – She hides in the ground (with a snorkel for air). So what he’s fast, big deal. She grabs his pinky toe once he gives up looking for her, and bam he’s half in the ground half out with a body cavity full of rocks – Kitty Pryde WINS!
Spiderman Vs Kitty Pryde – Goes in to the ground / or hides behind a wall that he’s on, grabs his pinky toe & leaves him half in half out of a wall – Kitty Pryde WINS!
The Hulk Vs Kitty Pryde – Pinky toe strategy a.k.a. the patented “Little Piggy” maneuver is employed again. Or maybe she mixes it up and puts a brick in his brain. – Kitty Pryde WINS!
Batman Vs Kitty Pryde – He’s just a human, so he gets to loose twice – Kitty Pryde WINS (Twice)!
Wolverine Vs Kitty Pryde – Has no need to fear his adamantium, for she uses the dreaded “Little Piggy” maneuver! Grabs it and wee wee wee – Kitty Pryde WINS!
Wonder Woman Vs Kitty Pryde – Here little piggy piggy piggy! – Kitty Pryde WINS!
Superman Vs Kitty Pryde – This one is tricky… oh wait no it’s not! As she just leaves a Kryptonite brick in his brain. Hell’s a normal brick might even work- Kitty Pryde WINS!
YOUR WINNER KITTY PRYDE!
Though I included the Flash, due to his speed, I will not go on and do a run down of all the others. They all lost to the Superhero’s above… so logically that means they all suck BIG TIME, and would all loose twice over (like Batman). Except for Rorschach, who would loose 4 times, but would submit a rather short diary of the events leading to his death to the press.
Funny that you guys thought to leave out all the other “Over powered” superhero’s that could have totally ruin this. Prof. X being at the top of that list. And further a lament to the poor jilted Aquaman & Robin. Not even good enough to be considered of “Rorschach” caliber.
Seriously guys, you’re paid to do a job you could at least try too seem like your doing it well, or even half assed. Besides it seems pretty fun. “Oh no I have to go into work today and write 1/3 of a series of articles about superhero’s fighting.”
“Should I research it at all…. Nah!”
Tony, I applaud you sir. Not for choosing Deadpool, but for being entertaining. I could care less if you guys had Optimus Prime fighting against a birch bark canoe and loosing, as long as you seemed to put some effort into your art. At least dazzled me with some Monty Python esk anti-logic to explain your argument. Or make it funny, or even interesting.
Oh well whatever, who am I to complain about this free “entertainment” or the fact that you are getting paid for this. My sincerest congratulations to Miss Pryde on her “epic” win(s). Should there not be a forced retirement policy, I look forward to all her future wins until the end of time.
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admin_rock Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Wait… We’re getting PAID for this? Why was I not informed of this!
Also, you make a number of uninformed assumptions here, as to our motives, and our conclusions. My advice to you is to relax a bit, try not to take our opinions with such weight, and remember that we’re arguing about comic books. And, I don’t know, maybe go for a nice walk, hug a stranger.
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Tomass Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Forgive me I was simply speaking in the native language of the inter-tuber-nets. I thought you would read through the self righteous, indignant, smarmy tone to the true love and fluffy bunnies at it’s core. I really thought you’d see past the “smarminess”… it is in the blog title.
I’m very relaxed, just look at that plain white avatar on the field of grey (or is it gray?). Does that not just mumble neutral and relaxed to you? Your Avatar seems grumpier than both the bear & dwarf that share the same moniker.
Also, I’m very nice. I’ve got so much love for The Correctness that I just just wrote the entire “Kitty kills a piggy” summation of the battles for you. But there I go again with that pesky smarmy.
Really though I just had the thought bouncing through my head. And I figured it had been a good while (years in fact) since I posted a meaningless internet rant on a totally inconsequential subject. It was more creative writing then a serious beeyotch fest. It is about comic book characters as we both know.
If the collective ‘you’ are not getting paid for this on any level, then I gleefully retract the “gettin paid” comments, and even apologize.
I don’t think I’ll hug me a stranger today, that might work out poorly in the end. Maybe I’ll pet a puppy or something to make you happier.
Again, who am I to complain about this free entertainment. And moments of it this has been.
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RobbieRobTown Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Ah, we getcha. Don’t forget that Supes is still in the running, and the sometimes-intangible flash, and what if Kitty Pryde makes out with Wonder Woman before she fights the next round? These are all potential outcomes.
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Tomass Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Aquaman & Robin could start there own tournament, decide that it’s a bad idea, scrap it and open a tea house together instead. Wonder woman & Kitty could be looking for post make out refreshments and head to the new tea house. Shortly after the two superwomen mysteriously fall ill and die. Their tea will have been poisoned by a spiteful Robin. Twisted and turned to evil by his being punted from the tournament… because dammit what’s the difference between him and Batman except money.
Superman could wake up to find Dr. Strange magically neutering him. He then falls into a deep depression and drops out of the tournament and kills himself.
Spider man might not make it to his fight with the Flash. He was having an affair with on MJ the night before with Black Cat who tied him to the bed posts and went to work the next morning and left him tied to the bed.
Bruce Banner could discover yoga, lulu lemon workout pants and true inner tranquility making it impossible for him to get green, or grey (or is it gray?) for Batman, who got locked out of the Batcave by the evil jilted Robin and would have to show up in his “civvies”. Which would ironically make it the battle of the 2 Bruces. Wayne would win, but would promptly be killed by Dr. Manhattan out of retribution for killing Rorschach and for killing a man that finally found inner tranquility.
Wolverine could be pissed at Scott Summers so he steals his motorcycle AGAIN and goes off on some crazy biker road trip to Japan or some shit thus defaulting from the tournament. Hey sure He’s bad ass, but his needs are simple. A stolen motorcycle and an open Japanese highway.
And the Flash could very well fall in love with Peppermint Patty & Marcie (of peanuts fame) and live the rest of his life as a sub in some twisted ass 3 way. Like a super speed “The Gimp”, getting bossed around by Peppermint & Marcie Doms.
Really it’s true the possibilities are limitless.
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RobbieRobTown Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
The phrase “magically neutered” will forever be in my heart. That’s right, I LOL’d.
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Tomass Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I never thought much of it writing it, but now that I see it all disambiguated like that. Ya, makes me chuckle.
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You do realise that when grabbing Deadpool Kitty would be bringing him into phase with her… so unless she knocks him out the suicidal (yet unable to die) Merc with a mouth could kill her while they are phased…it was nice that someone brought up DP’s other mode of teleportation (Cable)…but that’s ‘nuf said
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2 facts.
Kitty only needs to hold her breath as long as she is inside a solid object.
“You do realise that when grabbing Deadpool Kitty would be bringing him into phase with her… so unless she knocks him out the suicidal (yet unable to die) Merc with a mouth could kill her while they are phased.”
There is absolutely nothing to support this theory in the canon. Kitty has phased many a people without being suceptible to physical attack. Don’t ask me why.
And it’s amazing that people are actually arguing logic over comic books. It’s impossible because even the writers don’t give a crap about continuity or logic. They twist the logic to suit their purpose.
So logically, Kitty should be the most badass character in the MU, beating everyone except maybe telepaths and that guy with the Harpoon power that upsets molecules.
But comics are rarely logic, so Deadpool, in an attempt to keep Kitty for the odd Wolverine’s sidekick role and to pander to the fanboys who could just absolutely *cry* over the fact that their ‘awsum’ heroes can do shit against a teenage girl, surely has to win.
He does have so many victories against big bad awsum killers (and lets not mention the fact that *logically* Kitty should be able to kick all their asses put together ;-D)
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here is how the fight really goes. deadpool starts crap with kitty….kitty fights back. deadpool blows himself up before she can faze grab him. she lives. wow shocker. deadpool pulls himself back together like always and puts a bomb in her toilet while watching her all perv like through a window with a 50 cal sniper rifle just in case . she takes a dump blows up and just in case she escapes he snipes her from afar. ninja skills or spider skills or common sense wont save you from the all mighty crapper bomb. you gotta go , you gotta go. the end. ………..deadpool logic. now regular logic. kitty pryde as mutch as i love the girl is not a tried and true killer. she wont rip out hearts or bury you in the earths core. at all period. end of story. wade is. he can and will do whatever it takes to get the job done period. my money is on the real killer here. deadpool. now if we are talking AOA kitty then and only then will i agree with you cause we are talking a different beast. AOA kitty has and will do anything to get the job done.
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Pryde may not be a cold killer but she is a trained combatant. I hardly see her getting herself killed out of a sense of high minded morality.
First things first: the fight doesnt even start unless she wants it to. It’s within her ability to stand there and smile while Deadpool comes at her.
2. Her ability to phase electrics out of use also applies to the bodies nervous system. A simple wave of the hand through Deadpools head will serve to knock him unconcious.
3. She can phase individual parts of her body down to her fingertips effectively rendering her untouchable while allowing her to attack with an unphased weapon.
4. There is no time limit to Pryde’s phasing ability UNLESS she is phasing through a solid object and even that limitation is shown inconsistently.
5. She is either vulnerable or resistant to telepaths depending on the writer.
6. She is either crippled or mildly annoyed by adamantium depending on the writer.
7. Besides the one occassion mentioned, water has never been considered a weakness or vulnerability.
8. She is invulnerable to explosives while phased for as long as she can hold her breath.
9. She is very vulnerable to magic attacks.
10. She has shown NO vulnerability whatsoever to light, lasers, electricty and the like whilst phased.
11. The DaddyCool of all ninjas basically raised and trained her in a magical alternate reality.
12. Wolverine, take him as you will, basically raised and trained her since then.
13. She knows what to expect when facing off against a healing factor, claws, mercenary, soldier, nutjob, gun, sword, alien, ninja, telepath and all the sorts since it has basically been her JOB since she was a child.
14. She has basic S.H.I.E.L.D training, XMen training, Wolverine training and Ogun training.
15. Anyone who feels like hunting her down would have to get past many powerful friends first.
16. None of this matters because there is no way in hail mary hell that little Kitty would ever be allowed to undermine one of Marvel buff bad dudes………
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