From between his stubby blue fingers protrude the notclawpokeoutynifey things but they are red rope licorice.

Even wolvereen would love those, imagine with his healing abilities, he could eat red vines all day without running out or damaging his teeh.

1. “bleating their preternatural bleats” = SOLID FUCKING GOLD! That there is world class writing. I think I tinkled a little bit from out the end of my pee pee reading that… or “LOL” if you would prefer.

2. In my world of rampant free association I couldn’t help but think the following (and I try to keep this as coherent as possible as it was a long long twisted thought). Very diluted and in short form, if George-Clooney-Batman was in the fight, then those “Mother the fuck fucking goat fucking goat assed goats on fucking the fucking bi-fucking-cy-the-fuck-cles!” would be fucked.

3. I would sell my Grandma to see an Ibex on a skateboard!

4. I’ve met a poodle that can say I love you and until now nothing has frightened me more… but now my nights will be filled with a Lovecraftian level of torment. The questions, the wonderment but above all THE HORROR. . .. THE HORROR!

Will I wake chanting the phrase “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Goat-thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”?

…which translates as “In his house at R’lyeh dread Goat-thulhu waits pedaling.”

5. This is a 3 part notation. I shed a tear of joy thinking;

a) I have “leveled” and become a super fan? Really? COOL! What do I do? Are there responsibilities? I’m not good with those. If there are it would seem that goats are really fuckin’ trainable. Can I use a trained goat (sans bike) to assist me in my duties and responsibilities? Are there powers? Can I fire people? There’s a few people (LOTS!) I know in the world who should be fired. The guy who sold me my KIA was a total ass hat, I could fire him. And there are those 15 fishmongers… wait (*breath deep*) the firing list is long and that’s a rant for another time.

b) That Aquaman & Robin have finally had there moment “UNDER DA SEA! UNDER DA SEA! EVERTHINGS BETTER DOWN WHERE IT’S WETTER TAKE IT FROM ME” …ahem I mean, had there moment… (*FIGHT THE URGE*) …in the sun. Not only that but have fallen to a foe that only George-Clooney-Batman could defeat.

c) I tend to route for the underdog. No not like “have no fear Under-Dog is here” underdog. But like the underdog that no one likes and will NEVER win. No not like the “Bad News Bears”, “Rudy” or “Free Willy” the “oh they’re going to win in the end” kind of Hollywood under dog. But like THEY WILL NEVER WIN… Winnipeg Jets kind of underdog, it’s hard to explain all the dynamics of why. Long point longer, in a horrible confession… I hate Aquaman and Robin as super hero’s. They’re lame. And this undercard has sealed there fate in a way that I swear has been siphoned directly from the most twisted chaotic happy place in my brain. I can finally stop routing for them.

In closing your rant has made me leak 2 distinct bodily fluids from not 1 but 2 of my orifices.