Memo from DC and Marvel

The Correctness has gotten its Dorito-dusted fingers on a couple of private memos from the Big Two in comics. Everyone is noticing the amount of press that Marvel had over its new Ultimate Spider-Man, who is half Latino, half African American. Seems like neither company can wait to switch up more characters.

From DC Comics…

Wonder Woman – The new Wonder Woman will be Puerto Rican, a Rosie Perez in “Do The Right Thing” sort of thing.

Superman – Supes is no longer Kryptonian, he’s now from the planet Rigel II. Rigel II has a blue sun, so Earth’s sun makes him really, REALLY strong.

Cyborg – Non human part is now entirely Mac.

Flash – Icelandic.

Batman – Will now be Chinese, and Jewish.

From MARVEL

Captain America – To properly reflect demogrpahics, will be Mexican.

Iron Man – Will be Japanese, constantly upgrading armor to smaller suits.

Hulk – Belgian. Also, to reflect modern values, when he turns Green, he will focus on energy savings.

Fantastic Four – The entire team will now be Scandanavian, and spend time finding ways to improve the standard of living for those around them.

Nick Fury – White guy.

Thor – The Norse thing is confusing to a lot of people, make him Jesus from now on.

2 Responses to “Memo from DC and Marvel”

1. Keith says:

   August 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

   I can’t help myself … “It’s not the REAL Spider-man, it’s just the Ultimate universe Spider-man”

   DC got huge press for lesbian Batwoman without ever publishing a Batwoman comic. They should mix that in too.

   Pitch: Lesbian Latina Batman renounces American citizenship and is immediately killed by sniper Doomsday.

   $$$$

     Keith(Quote)  (Reply)

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2. spcMike says:

   August 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm

   From Marvel:

   We need to make Alpha Flight cooler. From now on they are American.

     spcMike(Quote)  (Reply)

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