Two Open Letters of Complaint
Dec06

Two Open Letters of Complaint

1:

Dear Kellogg’s:



You are no doubt aware that you are the manufacturer of Frosted Flakes. If you are not aware of this fact, you should be.  I am going to presume you are, indeed, aware. Of this fact.  You guys make Frosted Flakes.  Your “Frosted Flakes”, which are puffed corn of some variety or another, have the unlikely mascot of an anthropomorphic tiger, who wears a scarf for some reason. This he does, and I can only surmise, because Tony is a gang member, or possibly a barnstormer.

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Binky Bells… Disgruntled Elf
Dec01

Binky Bells… Disgruntled Elf

It’s December first…the day we are all legitimately allowed to play Christmas music and tear open that first little Advent Calendar Flap and eat the first waxy, tasteless chocolate of the season. In the spirit of the holidays, I’d like to suggest you follow @TheNorthPolar on Twitter, if you are the tweeting sort. He’s a disgruntled Elf I created last year at work as a promotional project. I had so much fun with it I’ve decided to make it an annual thing. Here are a couple of Binky Tweets to get you started.

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Tbinns TV
Oct17

Tbinns TV

For those who don’t know, which I have to assume is all of you because if you DID know you are taking WAY too much interest in my personal life, I am in the process of developing a half hour comedy show. I’ll spare you the painful details about how many times I’ve had to rethink the concept owing to being beaten to the punch, but I believe I’ve hit on something that works now. We’ll leave it at that. I have a producer attached, who got us a little funding to write a pilot, and then, something rather marvelous happened.

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So…How Much Do I Hate The Lou Reed /Metallica Song “The View?”
Sep27

So…How Much Do I Hate The Lou Reed /Metallica Song “The View?”

More than I hate the TV Show “The View” and that is saying a lot.

Just for the sake of context, please take a listen to as much of this as you can stand. I made it about a minute and a half in.

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An open letter to Jim Carrey in regards to Emma Stone, who, as yet, has not entered the contest to win a date with me.
Aug25

An open letter to Jim Carrey in regards to Emma Stone, who, as yet, has not entered the contest to win a date with me.

Jim:

A while back here on my comedy website thing, which is highly regarded by my mom, I invited Emma Stone to enter the “Win a Date with RobbieRobTown” contest. She did not enter then, nor has she submitted an entry since I reopened the contest earlier this summer.  To be fair, Emma Stone hasn’t the foggiest idea who I am, or if I am charming, homicidal, or both. So, to preface this letter without any further speculation, I am not writing this to tell you to keep your mitts offa my lady, as such a statement would be untrue, sexist, and incalculably fucktarded.

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Overnerded?
Jul22

Overnerded?

I caught the trailer for “Cowboys and Aliens”, and watched a couple of genres collided head on. It didn’t exceedingly awesome, but I’m long past betting for or against films based on trailers made by marketing guys. It did get me thinking about summer blockbusters, and what gets put up on the screen.

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I’m pretty sure I’ve railed about this sort of thing before, but it does seem to me that as nerds/pop culture fanatics, we seem to be getting everything we want these days. The majority of summer films for the last few years have a comic book films, or sci-fi/fantasy. I’m not so sure it’s a good thing.

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