Open Letter to Wile E. Coyote
(Note: This is a repost of the original). Dear Mr. Coyote, It’s not really about the food anymore, is it? Was it ever? If you have the time and money to invest in an engineering degree, which judging from your methods you obviously have, then clearly you have time to dial up your local fast food joint and order up a big old bucket of extra crispy road runner with a side of cole slaw. But that’s not it, is it? He tasks you. He tasks...
An Open Letter to LinkedIn
Dear Linkedin: First off, congratulations, it’s “open Letter” week here at The Correctness. Way to make the rant list! Now then: I understand you are a social networking site of some kind. I understand that such things are important. People need them for things and stuff, and to date businesses and poke plenty of fish. Social networking also helps us maintain pointless and chilly friendships by “liking” something. By the way,...
Open Letter To Seth McFarlane
(Note: This is a repost of the original). Dear Seth, I am a big fan of your show (note the singular there. American Dad just okay…and we will not discuss the Cleveland show.) and watch it as often as I can. You seem to be under some sort of internet backlash at the moment where it has become cool to hate Family Guy. Sometimes when South Park says “Jump” internet losers like me will say “How high?”. But I have always defended you. But...
This is just to say (For William Carlos Williams)
Fot the greatest poet of all time, William Carlos Williams.
This is just to say:
I have responded
on facebook
to your note
.
And you hoped,
I assume,
that I replied
Thoughtfully.
.
Forgive me,
I was on
my iPhone,
whilst taking a dump.
Dear 24
(Note: This is a repost of the original).
Dear 24:
I never thought we’d get to the place where I would have to do this, but I’m breaking up with you. It shouldn’t come as much of a shock, we’ve barely seen each other in the last year or so, and neither of us seem every interested in staying together. Between my lackluster interest in you, and your refusal to change, or try anything other than the same old tired tricks, well, it’s inevitable.
When we first got together, I was in awe of you. Your smart, choppy style, your boundary pushing narrative devices, the way you showed me what everyone was doing the last few seconds of each hour. And when our second year together started, I was shocked at the ferocity you showed.
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