Before we begin, I would once again like to stress and clarify that these are my FAVOURITE performances. The “Best” performances would be a different kind of debate, and would, if the AFI is to be believed, need to involve a lengthy discussion of “Some Like it Hot” a movie that I appear to be completely alone in not giving a shit about.

You should also know, that my love of Python is sacred and pure, and my exclusion of them is only because they would dominate everything on the list. If I didn’t have that rule in place, the list would be “My Favourite Monty Python Guys” and the list would be only 6 items long. This is a strictly Non-Python list

So after struggling with the order, I finally narrowed it down to ten, but it proved so difficult, I felt the need to include this rather lengthy honorable mention list…

Honorable Mentions:

Kevin Kline – A Fish Called Wanda (I’m DissaPOINTED!!!!),
Steve Martin – Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (“not mother?” “Oaklahoma! Oaklahoma Oaklahoma!”) and The Jerk (“I just need this ashtray…) or The Man with Two Brains for that matter (“Get that CAT out of here!”)
Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder (For passing the phrase “Full Retard” into the vernacular)
Woody Allen – Annie Hall(“Don’t you wish real life was like this?”)
Gene Wilder – Blazing Saddles (“Yeah but I shoot with THIS hand”)
Jennifer Coolidge – Best In Show (“we could talk or, not talk…for hours”)
Fred Willard – A Mighty Wind (“Wha Happened? “ actually, Fred Willard in ANY Christopher Guest movie)
Madeline Kahn – Clue (Yes, I HATED her HATED… FLAMES!!! FLAMES!!!)
Bill Murray – Caddyshack (“Cindrella story…Outta nowhere…”)
Dan Akroyd – The Blues Brothers (“You want I should wipe da bugs off yer windshield?”)
Jim Carrey – Dumb and Dumber (“Big Gulp’s huh? Well, see ya!)
Harry Shearer – Spinal Tap (“are we going to do Stonehenge tomorrow?”)
Rick Moranis – Ghostbusters (“Ghostbusters…? Who does your taxes?”)

So with that out of the way, I present to you my

Top Ten Favourite Performances in a Comedy Movie.

10.Chevy Chase: National Lampoon’s Vacation

Call me a purist, but I don’t like ANY of the sequels to this movie. The dark edge of Vacation was quickly replaced by the broad double takes and crass one liners in its sequels. Clark Griswald was clearly an idiot, but he was a much more relate-able idiot in the first movie…certainly a more empathetic one. Chevy’s dry delivery, and put upon patience works perfectly and it makes his blow up at the end believable and hilarious. The original is a classic, thanks in no small part to Chevy Chase

9. Steve Carell: Anchorman

Steve Carell committed an act of grand larceny…he out and out stole Anchorman from Will Ferrell. This is the performance that got him The 40 Year Old Virgin, which launched him as a comedy superstar. That utterly blank stare, complete cluelessness, desperate to keep up with the machismo around him. Almost every phrase he utters is a gem. But Will Ferrell needn’t worry because number 8 is…

8.Will Ferrell: Elf

Pure unabashed joy. I laughed over “Good News, I saw a dog today!” for days afterward. Now to be fair, I’m a complete sucker for Christmas, but I think we can all agree if there is a character tailor made for Will Ferrell’s gifts, it’s Buddy the Elf. No one does over the top enthusiasm better. I wasn’t a Will Ferell fan until I saw this movie.

7.Peter Sellers: Dr. Strangelove

Jesus, where do I start? Perhaps I’ll start by griping that this comedic performance for the ages was ROBBED of an Oscar by David Fucking Niven sleepwalking his way through “My Fair Lady”. If you ever doubt that comedy will always be a second class citizen on award shows, you need look no further than that. All three of the characters Sellers played in this movie are NOTE PERFECT, but I have a special place in my heart for the President… “Demitri…? How do you think I feel?” This is a comedic genius at the height of his powers

6. Catherine O’Hara : Waiting for Guffman

No one does purposely bad acting better than Catherine O’Hara. It’s almost like she embarked on a 5 week tour of small town amateur theatres to prepare for the role. She has every nuance down, the weird rising inflection, the grade school hammy acting, the awkward shuffling stage movement, and the inflated sense of importance. She is great in everything she does, but this performance is so layered, and so funny, it stands head and shoulders above just about everything else she’s done.

5.John Belushi: National Lampoon’s Animal House

This one is as much about the iconography as it is the performance…this list would be woefully inadequate without a mention of Bluto. The scene where they are sneaking in to the stables alone is worth his inclusion, that’s not even mentioning The Pep talk (Both to Flounder and to his recently expelled Deltas) and the Ladder scene. Belushi was a star the minute he set foot on the stage at Second City…this is the movie where he let everyone else know it.

4. Christopher Guest: This is Spinal Tap

This is a standout performance in a movie that is wall to wall great performances. And not just through the oft quoted bits…one of my favorite scenes is when Nigel goes back to the dressing room to tell his former band mates that Sex farm is charting in Japan. (“Spinal Tap’s recording of Sex Farm?”) He says more with a look and a shrug than most actors say with a three page monologue. Go back and have another look at that scene, even so called “Dramatic actors” could learn a lesson or two there.

3.Leslie Nielsen: Airplane

Once upon a time , Leslie Nielsen had no clue he was funny. That became the key to his success in Airplane, which is played stone cold straight no matter how absurd things got. For awhile, there was no one better for Zucker Abrams style lunacy. But, as he got cast in more and more comedies, he started “trying” to be funny, and it devolved into shameless and painful mugging, until he was a direct to video shadow of his former greatness. But we will always have this performance in Airplane, one of the funniest performances in one of the funniest movie’s ever made.

2. Richard E, Grant: Withnail and I

He is a selfish, arrogant, cowardly, manipulative, irredeemable alcoholic bastard, and by the time the movie is over and he is reciting Hamlet in the rain at Hyde Park damned if you don’t love the guy. Or at least feel for him. This is a brilliant, insanely quotable performance, one that will follow Richard E. Grant around until the end of his days. (But somehow, I don’t think he minds) It takes a lot of doing to make this monster human and likeable. When you consider Grant is a complete teetotaler, it becomes even more impressive.

And my Favourite performance in a comedy movie…

1. Bill Murray: Ghostbusters

“I’m so excited…you are about to find out who to call”

-Zombieland

I had a “Ghostbusters quote-a-thon” on my Facebook status recently and 98 percent of the quotes came from Bill Murray’s Dr. Peter Venkmen. He is throwing away lines most actors would kill for with a casual shrug because there are so many more coming. There is never a moment in this movie when he is NOT funny, and it all looks so fucking EFFORTLESS. He is the only guy in the world who can look goofy and cool at the exact same time. When you say “Bill Murray” this is the role you picture…the laid back sarcastic shyster, this role more than any other sums up why we love the guy so much. He made the line “I’m gonna check the fridge” funny, for God’s sake. I wouldn’t have thought that was humanly possible.

So there it is…another list for you to debate with me and amongst yourselves. Did I miss anyone? Let me know!

Having just read David Cross’s book “I Drink for a Reason” (which we recommend, by the way) we read that David Cross has a Google alert on his name “David Cross” so if the name “David Cross” is prominently mentioned, it will come to his (and by his I mean David Cross’s) attention. Having been big fans of David Cross since the brilliant Mr. Show, written by and starring David Cross and Bob “I’m not David Cross and I don’t have a Google alert so I won’t get mentioned as often as David Cross” Oedenkirk, I thought I might take this opportunity to mention to David Cross that we are big David Cross fans. The Mr. Show David Cross, who was also the David Cross in Arrested Development, who is the writer performer of such David Cross albums as David Cross’s “Shut up you Fucking Baby” by David Cross. We are big fans of the David Cross who played Alan Ginsburg, who coincidentally was also the David Cross who played a guy in Men in Black. We are not big fans of the David Cross of Alvin and the Chipmunks, but being David Cross is expensive, and David Cross has got to get paid. So To the David Cross who’s David Cross-ness has David Crossed David Crossiosity to David Cross and non David Cross fans alike, the Correctness would like to say a big hello to you, David Cross.

David Crossly,

David Cross (If The Correctness was named David Cross)

P.S. DAVID CROSS!!!

It’s no secret that The Correctness are big fans of Joss Whedon. He’s made a string of shows that are brilliant, funny, and engaging. We watched Buffy (movie and show), We watched Angel. We loved the hell out of Firefly and Serenity. We crushed on Dr Horrible. We (well, at least some of we) really dig Dollhouse. But Joss, buddy, we need to talk about how the networks (we’re mostly looking at you, Fox!) treat you.

The Friday night death slot is just that. Death. If they air you on Friday, they cancel you soon after. You know it, we know it. The executives and their notes, asking you to change this or that, showing episodes out of order, making you reshoot pilot episodes, etc. The list goes on.

Here are the facts: You know how to make good TV. You know how to find like-minded people to help you do this. You have a great rapport with your actors, and have gathered a stable of folks who will do anything you sign on for. And, hey, millions of fans who feel likewise.

We know you were doing Eliza a solid by taking on Dollhouse through Fox. But after the reports that Fox will “air all 13 episodes this season” and that you’re being shelved for the sweeps period, we’re all in agreement that Fox doesn’t give a crap about you.

So, we’ve been thinking about this, and we think that you should ditch TV once and for all. We keep our eye on things like DVD sales, and we noted that even a show like Babylon 5, which was a cult favorite, and not a mainstream hit, in the words of its creator “have raised over 500 million in revenue.” Dr. Horrible was a big hit, and it wasn’t made for TV at all. You see what we’re getting at?

Get a few backers together (or hey, maybe you have the cash to bankroll the thing yourself), and produce your own show, make it, slap it on iTunes, sell DVDs at the end of season, get it on Hulu. You KNOW we’ll all fork over some cash to see more great storytelling. At the very worst, we’ll still treat you better than the network execs.

The press will still cover you, network or no. The ComicCon crowds will spread the world. The fanboys will love your bold steps, and we’ll be done with the Fox network entirely (well, okay, we’ll keep watching House, but that’s it!). We’ll even start a whole new site called “The Jossness”. Or not, that sounds pretty lame. Then, when you’ve proven the model works, when the Season 1 DVD sales roll in, you can ramp up the production values for season 2, when everything gets good anyway.

Also, when all this works out, remember your old friends at The Correctness. And give J.M.S. a call, and tell him to do this too.

Love, The Correctness.

Dear Big Trouble in Little China:

It’s been a a year or two since we were together last, but my love for you is still as strong as that day in 1986 when we first met. I loved you then, and I love you now.

I love that you combine elements of Kung-Fu, action, adventure, and comedy films in a giant mash-up, so that I never know what is coming next. I love that you never take yourself too seriously, yet you treat your characters with care and thoroughness. I love your giant battle scenes, complete with bad-ass hand signals. I love the swaggering bravado of Jack Burton, and the fact that while he thinks he’s Indiana Jones, he’s really quite bad at what he does.

I love your cast of interesting and strange characters, from the wild and mysterious Egg Shen to the bright and resourceful Wang Chi (who is either the sidekick, or the hero, depending on how you look at it.) Even Gracie Law, who enters the “Dragon of the Black Pool” restaurant with the line “Don’t Panic, it’s only me, Gracie Law”. She and Jack fire dialogue at each other like they’re in “His Girl Friday.” Speaking of Jack, Jack Burton is the manliest man ever to spit out lines like “I was born ready”,”It’s all in the reflexes”, and “When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.” ” Not to mention David Lo Pan, the ancient sorcerer, and his henchmen, The Three Storms.

I love your rich, detailed sets. The Dragon of the Black Pool is warm and inviting, a restaurant after hours with a family meal being prepared. David Lo Pan’s endless factory with its rooms filled with ornate Chinese artifacts. I love the Chinese Hell of upside Down Sinners (the Chinese have a lot of Hells). I love the paper doors (”Paper? Paper. F*#$ it.”) I even love the cheesy neon lighting that appears in the throne room battle.

I love your quirky plot, following Jack’s attempt to get his truck back, and free Miao Yin from the clutches of Lo Pan. His epic struggle against forces bigger and stronger than himself. I love the Six Demon Bag, and the magic potion that makes him feel pretty good.
I especially love the way Jack charges into battle…well…not so much charges, more “immediately gets knocked out”.

You’re not the most thrilling movie ever made, nor are you the most moving. But you’re perfect at what you do. You’re a cult classic that works hard at telling a story, no matter how ludicrous a plot you weave. You’ve aged MUCH better than say “Buckaroo Banzai”.

So, while new loves come in to my life, and others fade in to the distance, rest assured that I’ll always come back to you.

Love,

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