Poll Results: T-Shirts
We asked you, the Rabid Faithful, how you felt about having a whole lot of RobbieRobTown chaffing your nipples. You were, understandably, concerned. Then we told you it was only in T-Shirt form. You were still reluctant, but after a few Hard Lemonades, you agreed.
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To Doctor Josef Nefario
To Doctor Josef Nefario, head of Applied Interglobal Industries, Sept 12, 2008:
Dr Nefario, I’m writing you to inform you that payment is past due for our recent renovations to your Los Angeles office. We had agreed on strict terms, due to the nature of the alterations, which our office strongly advised against. In addition, on our post install visit, our quality control assistant Barry noted that you had failed to apply for the appropriate relaxations and permits, as you had stated you would. Normally, our office would handle these matters, but you were very insistent on this matter.
Open Letter to the 15 year old with the Run DMC T-shirt
Dear 15 year old with the Run DMC T-shirt:
I saw you this morning, while I was driving my 6 year old to school. You had the usual teenage attire: Weird looking hoodie, straight leg jeans, and skate shoes.
All of this is a-ok, and normal. In fact, you wouldn’t have even registered on my radar, except for the fact that you had on a RUN DMC T-shirt. Now, i’ll spare you the old guy “It was 1 degree C at the time, you should probably do up that hoodie”, and we’ll skip straight to this:
A Super Handy Slur to Use on White Males
Dear Non-White-Male correctness reader:
You know, we were having a conversation the other day at The Correctness. A grown up, political conversation about how infuriatingly hard it is to insult white males, because, as the entitled culture of authority and power, nothing really hurts our feelings that much. You can call me a cracker, or greymeat, or gringo, or whatever, but it just doesn’t sting like our bleachy-white and bleachy-caustic lexicon of slurs we have for you folks. At the end of the day, we still have all that annoying capital, and equity, and those reassuring smug savings plans, and reusable grocery bags made of organic cotton that required ten times as much water to grow than pesticidey cotton. We’re a hard target!