Dearest Correctness Reader (Marc):
We here at The Correctness have noticed a disconcerting trend in metaphor and simile construction in recent years. We aim here to set the record straight- and you’ll note we just used both a targeting metaphor as well as a police record / trial metaphor (as well as some kind of embedded meta-metaphor about straightness and correctness being associated, but we digress). We do this not because you care, but because we are bored and single again, and we have just had an important birthday and have accomplished virtually nothing of any relevance or lasting significance with our lives (We, of course, are using the “royal we” here, because we are referring to TBinns and Admin_Rock.).
Not sure if it’s just co-incidental timing, or studios wanting to burn these films off in the slow season, but we’ve been hit with the 1-2-3 punch of action films starring some the greatest names in Action cinema.
In 1988, if you told me I’d get a Stallone, a Schwarzenegger, and a Bruce Willis film within months of one another, two things would be true: It would be summer, and I would be really happy. But 1988 was a LONG time ago. Now it’s 2013, and this triple threat is well… sad.
Perhaps known more for her cosplay potential than what she does as a character, Power Girl is nevertheless one of our most requested heroines here on the old Correctness Casting Couch, so let’s stop wasting time and get right to it shall we?
Hey folks, just got word that The Correctness has a panel spot for Calgary Expo 2013. That can only mean Live Smackdown! I’ll post the details when we have them.
Well kids, myself and my good pal Trevor Campbell have taken a kick at the old podcasting can.
Back with Admin_Rock’s weekly look at what’s hot, and what’s cool, (at least in his world.)
It’s been months since I shared what I watch and hear and make. You all must be so stressed. Fear not, I bring you the updated lists.
Watched Best Exotic Marigold Hotel with Mrs. Admin Rock the other night. It was just as wonderful the second time. If you like old people, or India, or any combination thereof, you’ll enjoy this film. You might confuse it with Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, but here’s a simple way to tell them apart: BEMH is actually about something, and doesn’t spend most of its time wistfully staring with vaseline on the lens. Okay, I haven’t actually seen Moonrise Kingdom, because I just don’t get Wes Anderson. Been burned too many times. I’m sure he’s all talented and awesome, but it’s like that movie that all your friends rave about, then you go see it, and it sucks donkey balls. It’s exactly like that. Donkeyballful. Donkeybawful.
On a recent flight, I watched both The Bourne Legacy, and Taken 2, without sound. Rather, they were on, and I glanced up occasionally, and wondered if any part of these films didn’t involve a chase, or standoff of some kind. I feel like I made the wiser choice.
Okay, so I’ve been busy.
Like, “let some guy write 12 articles about the Chipmunks Christmas album and just let that shit slide,” busy. And by busy of course I mean lazy. Horribly horribly lazy. So I confess I have been spending more and more time on Cracked lately. (Cracked…with an “ed” on the end, let’s make that perfectly clear.)
DECEMBER TWENTY-FOURTH: HOPE
We’ve reached the final chapter of Ross Bagdasarian Sr.’s magnum opus. Christmas with the Chipmunks is coming to a close, and so is my review. As well as my ability to write any reviews at all. Apparently, someone didn’t get the “remember to use the back entrance” memo.
DECEMBER TWENTY-THIRD: AFTERMATH
“Jingle Bell Rock” is a tricky song. It makes perfect sense to have a “hip”, “current” Christmas song that “wasn’t written a hundred years ago” included on the album, but does it work thematically? After all, Christmas with the Chipmunks was written to bring about world peace, to show humanity a new way of life, one of giving up the old ways that have so poisoned our society. And how else to wipe clean thousands-of-years-old traditions, and their anthems, than by turning them into novelty music, the lowest form of art?
I apologize for yesterday’s bizarre article. It would appear my new contact here at The Correctness doesn’t know the difference between a fairy tale and a song review. So if you’re reading this, Mr. Sullenger, know that you’re fired. It’s bad enough that you had to call the Waltons while I was staying at their house—while they were on vacation! They’d never notice I was there!—and get me thrown in jail, but if you’re not even going to post the right article, I don’t know why I even pay you. Don’t come back to the abandoned Lloyd’s Skating Rink. I rather like having my new office there, and I don’t want your incompetence ruining that too.